Music Monday: All Entertainment All The Time!

via this and this

So, did anyone watch the Oscars last night? I thought MacFarlane did a pretty good job balancing snark with a proper reverence for the event. Of course it was too long; it always is. The only way to get the thing down to a reasonable length is to cut out awards that (I know this sounds harsh) non-industry people simply don't care about or even understand. Honestly? This is the first whole Oscar show I've watched in maybe 18 years. And, with all the live-blogging and tweeting going on, it was kinda fun to be a part of that.

If you want to have some fun with Oscar recapping, head over to Mashable for GIFs, awesome Jennifer Lawrence awkwardness (the second video is THE BEST) and a bit of nominee nostalgia.

Now, let's get to some muuuuuuuussssiiiiiic!









What did you think of the Oscars?

Ammo Slammo, It's Gotta Go Blammo!

Bombed...

Well, now that I've taken a post Oscar break to shore up my health by lazing about and sleeping all day, it's time to get back into the spring-like swing of things.

I'm not going to talk about the Academy Awards. Isn't that really for the best? I mean, aren't we all tired of leg bombs and Jennifer's boobs anyway? Sure, areolas are nice, but if you've seen one caramel nip, you've seen them all, I say.

Pop culture is such a fascinating animal, mostly because people are odd and original creatures and what we become fixated on will likely be odd as well. HUBS and I, of course, are no different.

Post The Voice/Smash television on Monday night was dead, so we stuck it on Cool TV and watched music videos. An old favorite from The Scorpions came on:



That's right, I said an old favorite. What? Can't a black girl enjoy '80s heavy metal like everyone else? Anyway, this prompted HUBS to look the band up online, where he found lyrics to a song neither of us had heard of before called You´re So Dirty (But Also So Beautiful). The words? Perfect early '80s slightly nasty nonsensical rock. Enjoy the madness!

The breath cold as ice
Even though the earth burns
Where you are also there I will be
I live now, I live here in this world
I breath through complete lust

Damn you slam you, eat me like a menu
Take it brake it, kick it to the ground
Empty hollow, it's so hard to swallow
Gotta know what's your size

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun
You tell me yet again about the fact that
No one has ever seen you
Still I stay just yours, go
Through flesh and blood
For you, you live in me

Ammo slammo, it's gotta go blammo

Lust you bust you, Can I ever trust you
Scare you dare you, anyway I want you
Catch you grab you now

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun

Hard ass lard ass, keep your hands off my stash
Holy stoli gotta have a stogie
Master blaster, buy a jabocaster
Gotta eat your heart out now

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
Oh, you're my fantasy
You are so nasty, how far will you go
To keep me true, trust me not
You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun

Phew! Now, if you're like me you were left with one question: What the hell is a jabocaster? Well, I found out for you. See how dedicated I am?

Music Monday: Post Oscar Pep!

This better conveys James Franco's expression for most of the Oscar show than any photo I could find. I am quite the artiste!

I used to be all about watching The Academy Awards when I was a kid. And not just the actual show either, nuh uh. I'd watch all the prep shows and the Barbara Walters Special and the pre-show and then the Oscars.

Now that I look back on it, no telecast ever registered as good or bad or exciting or boring. I was a kid, and as someone not even remotely involved in the industry, many would posit that I shouldn't have been interested at all at, say, eight-years-old. But, interested I was, so watch I did. Every year, it was a given.

I believe it was my Sophomore year of college when all that changed. I had to work or study, or something, so I decided to tape the event. When I tried to watch later that night, I realized that my VCR (I know! Remember those? Fuck, I'm old.) wasn't in prime condition anymore. The picture was wobbly and the audio was almost non-existent. No amount of 'tracking' could fix this.

I distinctly remember thinking Oh well, fuck it. And that was literally the last time I tried to watch an entire Oscarcast. This brings us to last night.

Now, we all knew it was possible that this little young-beautiful-actors-with-no-heretofore-seen-comedic-hosting-talent experiment could backfire, right? many of the reviews have praised Anne Hathaway and the obligatory opening host-in-nominated-movies pre-recorded madness, and blasted James Franco.

At first I felt like everyone else, Anne is working her butt off and James couldn't give less of a shit. He's nervous or stoned or bored or has decided (roughly five minutes into the show) that he's either above this bullshit or made the worst decision of his life and has decided to just let those feelings fly. But, I think we all may have missed the point.

James Franco did exactly what the hell James Franco meant to do last night, but none of us (not even the show's producers or his co-host) were in on the joke. Let's imagine that you were a solid actor who's won some recognition in TV and movies. Let's also say that, after a long string of co-starring movie roles, you decide to take a part on a soap opera to possibly showcase your performance art skills to a national, unknowing audience with a character that's named after you; and let's say that this is for a class at one of the two universities you currently attend.

Now, would it not be possibly the greatest performance art piece of all time, to take a gig hosting the majorist of award shows, pretend to be dead serious about it and then, when you get there, act like you're stoned/scared/would rather be having a colonoscopy non-anesthetized?

Someone hand James Franco his A+, already.

Anyway, here's something more upbeat for you!