The Chew Isn't Working

...

Has anyone been watching The Chew? It's the show ABC killed All My Children for. Now, I'm going to admit my bias toward soaps up front; I'd watched AMC off and on for around 16 years, though for the past two our relationship was mostly 'off'.

However, I wanted The Chew to work out. I love cooking and am a huge fan of cooking shows, even ones with stupid names. I've now watched about a week's worth of episodes and can state without a doubt that it's semi-painful to watch. Separately, all the hosts (There are five. FIVE, people!) seem likeable enough. Together, though? It's just too messy. Here are my reasons why it's not working.

Why The Chew Sorta Sucks

1) There's already four chef/food people in the house, we don't need an official moderator. Clinton Kelly, why are you here?

2) Even with Clinton, the conversations are always awkward. I don't think any of the hosts are used to dealing with a live audience...Or each other, for that matter.

3) Dammit, there's just too many bitches on stage! And they're never all doing the same thing. Two people are standing, three are sitting, someone's cooking, someone's chopping, someone else is gesticulating wildly...THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON AT ONCE!

4) No one here is a journalist or has any real interviewing skills. Yesterday Mario Batali asked guest and New York mayor Michael Bloomberg, "What do you expect from a New Yorker?" I could see Bloomberg's befuddlement and really wanted him to answer, "Well, the least you can do is not be a dick." But, he answered without a hint of sarcasm. Damn!

5) No one here is Regis. The hosts tell stories, but none of them have the right oomph to make them pop. Cue additional awkwardness.

6) Crap, I just found out they have a correspondent. Are you really telling me Clinton couldn't do the remote pieces for them? It's not like he's running a restaurant at night. Again...Too. Many. People.

7) The food looks good, but the prep work lacks even the most remote appeal. Part of this is due to the lackluster set; it just barely looks like a kitchen in there.

8) None of the hosts seem to be very well prepared. And, on top of that, they seem to be trying really hard to make us like them. As a result they come off as super desperate.

I'm not the only one thinking the show needs some major tweaking to work. Even at it's silliest, AMC was still a better, less jumbled and boring, package.

Have you seen The Chew? What do you think?

Citygirl Bites! Plush Pig Barbeque

We here at Citygirl headquarters lurve us some BBQ. By the time Sunday rolled around we needed sauced up meat like never before. So, we headed to the Plush Pig to see their new digs in Rock Hill. The last time we dined with them, their place was in Clayton and we had just lost a lawsuit against the former owner of our house (long story, y'all).



I got the rib tips and fries, plus sides of cole slaw and green beans. Man, that was disappointing. It wasn't inedible, but, you know how you build something up and then when you finally get to it it's just...meh? That's how this was. The tips were kinda fatty and none of the food was actually hot when it got to me. And we all know that lukewarm fries are meh, right? The waitress originally brought the wrong sides, but when I finally got the ones I ordered, they were ok.



HUBS ordered the sausage and meat cmbo with baked beans and potato salad. I didn't try any of his meat (heh, heh, heh) but he said the meal had a similar effect on him. It was edible, but didn't burn him to the ground and make him want to go back to the Plush Pig anytime soon. Even the baked beans, which I can honestly say were some of the best in St. Louis, were really good but not amazing, like I remembered them.

I don't know what happened. Is there a new cook? Are they preparing stuff differently? Were our tasebuds deformed the first couple of times we ate there? I don't think we'll be going back to the Plush Pig. Bandana's has much better food for a similar price point, plus they have several locations and whip fast service.

Read: The Lover's Dictionary

It's been awhile since I read a novel. I've been knee deep in cookbooks, magazines, self-help tomes and the occasional autobiography for the past two years. So, when I was browsing at the library a couple of weeks ago, I saw this on the shelf and decided to just give it a chance. Usually, I stick to books I've heard something about, but this time I thought a little EXPANSION of my normal tactics was in order.

I finished this novel in three days. It's the story of a relationship gone awry, told in a flashback/flash forward style and in the form of a dictionary. Each alphabetized entry gives us a piece of the puzzle of how this couple met, lived together and then didn't.

It's so beautifully written. The author manages to write in a conversational style that is also very poetic, honest and original. I actually plan to buy this one eventually, so I can re-read it. If you're looking for something new to sink your literary teeth into, I think this might be what you need.

Citygirl Bites! Smoking Joe's BBQ

My lovelies, it's time for another installment of Citygirl Bites! On December 3 HUBS and I finally went to Smoking Joe's BBQ, a joint downtown that we'd been meaning to go to for a few weeks.

Despite the cold and the late hour that we finally got our asses out of the house, I was excited. I luuuuuuuuuuvre BBQ! If would be fair to say it's one of the few foods I really crave on occasion. Unfortunately, after our jaunt to this place, my craving is still intact.

My first objection with the place is that it's freakin' hard to spot on a dark night when you haven't been there before. SJ BBQ! Invest in a large sign, please!



There is a nice atmosphere inside, though. The place is moodily lit for romance, dressed up for Christmas and they even have live music and a bar area. It's more of a BBQ nightclub than a straight-up stuff-your-face joint. They've kicked your standard BBQ place up a notch.



That would be excellent if I didn't think they did it to divert attention away from the food. It's not horrible, but it's not good enough to deal with driving all the way downtown, either.

The meal started off pretty good. We ordered BBQ chicken nachos for an appetizer and they were large and good (though it did take a while for them to get to us). SJ BBQ has three different sauces: sweet, mild and hot, and all were tasty.



I ordered the ribs with beans and cole slaw. Let me start by saying that the sides were excellent. The main course, on the other hand, arrived almost cold. If you don't already know, cold ribs aren't much fun. That wasn't the worst part, though.

My ribs were also incredibly fatty. So much so that I couldn't take a bite without getting gobs of fat. I had to cut around the ribs and remove the fatty bits before eating. Also? Not much fun and kinda irritating. I kept the leftovers but ended up giving them to the stray cats because I knew I wouldn't feel like doing all the work involved to eat around the fat. I'm glad someone was able to enjoy them.



HUBS wanted their small combo platter, but he wanted to sub its chicken and ribs for pork and turkey. They wouldn't let him. Usually BBQ places have a general combo platter where you can get set portions of any of their meats, but not here. And there was nothing on the menu that said No Substitutions, either. That's another strike for them, as far as we're concerned.



After that disappointment, HUBS settled on their pulled pork platter with potato salad and green beans. This time, at least, the main dish was as good as the sides. The pork was tender and flavorful and those green beans were a definite stand-out.

All in all the main attraction for this place is the price. Most of their menu items cost $8.99 or less. Be aware of the live music times, too. It got really loud in there once the band started and having to shout across the table at each other was a bit maddening. (I know, we sound like old fogies. Oh, wait, we kinda are!) If you're already in the area, I'd give them a shot. But stay away from the ribs.

Citygirl Bites!

The soft pretzels and cheese and Kirkwood Ice and Fuel.

Since HUBS and I like to try new restaurants and eat out in general, I've decided to begin a new feature here on citygirl where I review some of these places for a little bit of food porn.

Up first is Kirkwood Ice and Fuel. We've been passing by this place for three years and finally went in the Sunday after my birthday back in November. It was surprisingly dive-y inside, but luckily that doesn't mean the food is crappy. These folks know what they're doing!

Those pretzels were perfect, soft and warm with a bit of crispiness outside and just the right amount of salt. The cheese sauce was warm and creamy. Very nice.



I got this Cajun chicken sandwich which came on a nice wheat bun. It was perfectly seasoned and juicy and the onion rings were amazing, just filled with crunchy, onion-y goodness.



HUBS went with the chili nachos for his meal, and even though it's really an appetizer there's more than enough for a main course. Good, cheesy, bean-y chippy nachos.



If the look on HUBS' face isn't enough, listen up: GO TO KIRKWOOD ICE & FUEL. I don't believe you'll be disappointed.