Music Monday: I'm Reading My Ass Off

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I'm so proud of myself, people! A couple of years ago I pledged to start reading more books, and I've outdone myself this month. I just finished the 912 page Kushiel's Dart this morning. After only three weeks of reading.

This is a huge deal for me. First of all, I rarely read anything that long. In fact, I think I've only read one novel approximate in length, and that was just last summer. Also, I'm a pretty slow reader. I like to fully imagine the world in my mind, go over good parts again and use different voices for characters in my head to make the story as real as possible. So, yeah, it can take me a while to get done.

But, I finished! And just in time for the online book club discussion tonight. Head over to Vaginal Fantasy Hangout at 8pm PST tonight if you're interested. I find the discussions entertaining even if I've never read the book!

I returned the book to the library today and decided to jump into the second book in the series. This one is 700 pages. Plus I've put Shadow of Night on hold so I can start on that when it comes out next month. And that? That is almost 600 pages. I will be busy for the foreseeable future.

Now! Music!

Tuesday Tipday: Taming Your To-Dos

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Yesterday I told you about a book I read last week that offers tips for getting things done. The book was 18 Minutes, by Peter Bregman.

It's a quick, insightful read that I finished in just two days. I think the most important thing about this book isn't even the time management system he came up with, but the little nuggets of knowledge sprinkled throughout. Witness...

1) Pausing can help you make a smarter next move.

2) If your whole identity is wrapped up in one thing (your job, your status as a parent, the amount of money you have in the bank...) then the loss of that one identity will cripple you.

3) If you don't know what your life is about, you'll waste all your time even if you work your ass off.

4) Understand your obsessions and you'll be clued in to your natural motivators.

5) Passions are things you enjoy working at even if you feel like you're failing at them.

See? His book is filled with tidbits like this that make total sense as soon as you come across them.

What I love about his to-do system is that it's based not just on all the things you need to do on a daily basis (I've put "DISHES" and "LAUNDRY" on many a to-do list), but on your overall goals for the year. So, if you've decided you need to make new friends and dress better in 2012, each day should be spent focusing on activities that help you achieve those goals.

Bregman's idea is that only around five percent of your day should be spent on the laundry-dishes-buy-another-20-rolls-of-TP to-dos of life. Because, if that's all your days are made up of you won't get where you want to be and will end up feeling you've wasted your limited, precious time.

After plotting my goals for the year and making a rather extensive to-do list last week, I found it completely overwhelming to complete in one day. So, I did what I do best and put the whole thing off. Yesterday I woke up with a renewed interest in giving it a go. I didn't come anywhere near getting my 10 item list done, but as of right now I've only got four things left.

A couple of hours ago it occurred to me that no one is forcing me to make a daily to-do. For the foreseeable future I'll be making weekly ones. I don't think this would have seemed like an option before reading this book, and I don't know why. Bregman talks a lot about knowing your strengths, weaknesses and what makes you different and then tailoring your life so that everything is optimized for the way you work and get things done.

I love crossing off my to-dos, but if my day is too structured (even while working from home) I feel trapped...So, weekly to-do lists! I feel so much lighter now!

18 Minutes is a great book to pick up if you want some insight into how to make your productive days really matter. Give it a try.

What does your ideal getting-things-done day look like?

Read: The Lover's Dictionary

It's been awhile since I read a novel. I've been knee deep in cookbooks, magazines, self-help tomes and the occasional autobiography for the past two years. So, when I was browsing at the library a couple of weeks ago, I saw this on the shelf and decided to just give it a chance. Usually, I stick to books I've heard something about, but this time I thought a little EXPANSION of my normal tactics was in order.

I finished this novel in three days. It's the story of a relationship gone awry, told in a flashback/flash forward style and in the form of a dictionary. Each alphabetized entry gives us a piece of the puzzle of how this couple met, lived together and then didn't.

It's so beautifully written. The author manages to write in a conversational style that is also very poetic, honest and original. I actually plan to buy this one eventually, so I can re-read it. If you're looking for something new to sink your literary teeth into, I think this might be what you need.

Tuesday Tipday: To Serve Man

For years now I've been against buying cookbooks. When you subscribe to as many magazines as I have (ok, do) you get plenty of recipes in your mailbox every month, not to mention the scores of cooking ideas you can find online, on TV, or from the library.

One of my favorite cooking shows is Everyday Food, and I also get the magazine from the library and scan the recipes I'd like to try. I was looking through an issue and saw that one of the hosts of the show, Lucinda Scala Quinn had written a cookbook that helps you deal with feeding men. Feeding men, y'all!

I cannot tell you how much she read my mind! After several months of low-level poverty where figuring out what to cook and eat was a daily trial, I needed this book. By the time I found out about it HUBS and I had recovered some financial stability, but I was still feeling like I didn't really know how to cook for us.

HUBS can only cook pasta with jar sauce, burgers and fries; if I want anything besides that I have to cook, and that's fine (usually), I like cooking. But, back when I was living alone, if I didn't feel like cooking or didn't have anything much in the house and didn't have much cash to shop, do you know what I did? I ate cereal, or a salad, or a sandwich and I was fine.



That won't work with HUBS. He needs massive quantities of meat to feel like he's eaten anything other than a snack. I believe I could feed him an entire box of cereal and a half gallon of milk for dinner and within two hours he'd go "Yeah, that didn't really feel like a meal."

I. Love. This. Book! It's not just the tips and the recipes but the book-iness of the book: the design of the cover and pages, the photography, the heft of it and the textured, cloth-like cover. In the intro she acknowledges that "men eat differently from women." Yes! I thought I was going crazy over here, watching HUBS eat five Arby's roast beef sandwiches with a large order of fries and a giant soda in one freakin' sitting! It's not just me, apparently. Men just do that.

For Tuesday Tipday I'm going to share one of her suggestions with you: serve the man you cook for. I know, I know. He's a grown-ass man, he can walk, you did all the cooking and the least he can do is fix his own plate, but guess what? If he's what I like to call a Hungry Jack, he'll literally eat everything if you let him.

Once I started putting reasonable portions on HUBS' plate, he ate it and was generally satisfied. He rarely even goes back for seconds now. This means that when I cook enough for six people, I will actually have four servings of leftovers instead of one! Amazing!

The long and short of it? If you like to cook, you can't go wrong with this book. If you like to eat, you can't go wrong with this book. And if you're still getting used to feeding a man, you cannot go wrong with this book!

So Glad...

* for summer fruits and veggies
* HUBS has a 3 day weekend
* I mixed two nail polishes together and got a cool, sparkly, plummy color for my toes
* it finally stopped raining
* I quit my factory job
* I read Steering by Starlight
* for kittens frolicking
* for a break from oppressive heat
* I can go pant-less all day
* we might be able to get away next weekend
* I've gotten good things done the past couple of days
* that I have creative ideas
* about the new blog project I'm working on
* for my readers (Thank you! And have a wonderful holiday weekend!)

Oh Boy...

A desperate list I couldn't even finish.

In the past couple of months I've renewed my obsession with reading self-help books. This was something I used to do all the time from the early 2000s until about five years ago. I stopped for two reasons. One, almost all self-help books tend to say the same stuff in different ways. So, after you read about three of the things you're going to keep getting the same info over and over.

The second reason I stopped was my own odd tendency to feel like I'm accomplishing something when I'm actually procrastinating and hiding. What do I mean? I mean that reading self-help books has the same effect on me as entering contests online, somehow I feel a little like I'm earning money when I enter, even though I know that's a stupid feeling. When I read self-help books I feel like I'm working toward my goals, but in actuality I'm just reading a book and not really doing concrete work to fulfill my dreams.

I started up again because I was so depressed about working yet another job I loathed, but even more than the last one I hated. I felt I needed a little boost, and this has turned into me reading about six self-help books in four months.

Here's where the oh boy comes in. I've been reading a book called The Joy Diet. There's a part that tells you it's necessary to give yourself small treats for taking risks that will further your goals. The writer has you do an exercise where you list 10 things that make you smile, so you can use those things as treats.

Do you know what? After writing three things, I completely stalled. I started to think of all the stuff I like or even love: organizing the house, getting rid of things we don't need anymore, cooking, writing, photography, watching movies, reading fashion magazines and tearing out tips and photos, reading books, HUBS, the light at sunset, the light at sunrise, watching good tv...None of these things make me smile all the time. They make me feel good at least 90% of the time, but they don't make me actually smile.

It was months ago when HUBS told me I never smile anymore. I conceded that I'd been moody/angry a lot, but, Of course I smile!, I said. And now, trying to make this list, I see that he's likely very right. I absolutely love taking pictures and writing; why the fuck do they not make me smile? If nothing makes me smile, what does that mean? What have I become?

This is why HUBS so often knocks himself out doing goofy, ridiculous stuff in an effort to make my mouth turn up at the corners. I'm really not smiling anymore.

HUBS. I've become a huge drag. I'm sorry.

A Little Thing

Something I've been working on this year is reading more books. I used to read all the time. My mom was a voracious reader when I was a kid. She loves Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Louis L'Amour. She would start reading a book after I left for school, stay up all night and be done with it by the time I left for school again the next day. And then, promptly start on another one. Plus, we're talking about sometimes huge books here, often upwards of 400 pages. Finished in 24 hours.

A few months ago I noticed how lacking my book-reading had become. In the past couple of years it had gotten to the point where it would take me several months to finish one little book. Most recently I finished When Washington was in Vogue over a period of two years. Two Years! That's just stupid.

I have a folder I started about 6 years ago with magazine clippings full of books I wanted to read. That doesn't even include all the books on my half.com list and the books in my library list. So, somewhere around January I realized I needed to get to work on all these books.

Reading makes me feel better, as evidenced by the fact that I've spent two days procrastinating by reading an insane amount of blogs. But, reading books in particular makes me feel really good. Smarter, even. I like being able to say "I'm reading The Joy Diet right now" instead of saying "I just finished the April issues of Lucky, Glamour, Essence and InStyle UK in one day!". Relaying magazine reading habits seems less...intellectual. You know?

To keep myself on point I've added a book shelf on the right side of my page, near the bottom. This little visual is already helping me track my accomplishments. Look at it! I've finished all those books just this year!

What are you reading now?

The Good News

To all the fuckers who refuse to hire me: MY WORK IS IN THIS BOOK, BITCHES!!!

I forgot to tell you guys that I finally got the book where some of my writing and photos were published for winning that photo contest. I wasn't expecting the stuff until middle of the month but I got the package on Monday the 2nd. Very fast!


Part of the prize was this camera. It has my NAME ON IT. EEEEEEEEEEE!!! DianaF+ Colette Edition

I don't know how many of you have wanted to have your writing/art published and had it happen for you, but this was awesome! I've had stories published in local things before, but this is a book. Anyone in the world could buy it and see my words and my photography. When I saw it, I cried a little. And I'm such a sap that I'm crying a little now just thinking about that moment again.

I had completely forgotten to tell my mom about the whole contest thing, when I told her about all the cool stuff: camera with my name on it, words and photos in a published book, pics on display at a store in Paris (Colette is a French clothing store that co-sponsored the contest)...Well PT just kept saying how proud she was of me.

There's some cool stuff in this book. My essay and photos were dedicated to my pitiful lack of employment. I was so pleasantly surprised when I won. I've got four pages in the book, which amounted to a total of 10 photographs published. Here's a sample:


I'm still kicking myself for forgetting to include my photoblog address in my bio.

Despite the fact that my unemployment checks are in jeopardy yet again, this my friends, is my one glimmer of hope.


editor's note: I really need to cut my fingernails...It's gettin' kinda hard to type.

It's All Sunny Out

From when he bought me a rose, earlier this month.

Our heat keeps coming on so it must be ridonkulously cold outside, but it is sunny. And when it's cold I actually don't mind the sun.

HUBS and I managed to go to dinner at one of our favorite places on my birthday, A'mis. We had a temporarily free $100 placed in our pitiful account by the overdraft protection gods, and used about $38 bucks to get us my Bday dinner.

The whole day was good, actually. My friend TC (who still works at the company I left in January) took me out to lunch at a great Thai place downtown that we love, Sen. November 19 is both of our birthdays, so from the time we realized that way back in...crap...'99(?), we've celebrated together.

After lunch I walked around downtown and then Webster to take pictures. It was so peaceful. I always feel independent and tough when I do photo walks, don't ask me why. And? I got some great stuff. I had two cameras with me, the digital I carry every day and my Diana+. The Diana uses 120 film, I'll take it to be developed today, and by the time it comes in HUBS will be paid again and I can afford to pick it up. Yay!

I think I did some reading in between photo walking and HUBS getting home. The best part about unemployment is unlimited reading time. I'm considering putting a sidebar on my site that shows how much stuff I've read in the past few months. Internet! You'd be muy impressed!

After dinner we walked around Borders for about an hour, looking at things we wanted but could not get. Then we headed to Quick Trip for snacks. I've been having a serious blueberry muffin moment for the past month, and QT simply has the best ones. You know how the top of the muffin should get a bit crispy and have that overhang that in women with too-tight pants is known as a "muffin top"? Well, only a QT muffin has muffin-top down to perfection.

My other QT weakness? Their cappuccino. Oh. MY. GOD! So fucking good, people. When it gets cold I want one everyday. Problem is they are packed with calories, sugar...I had three last week and am trying to cut back. I actually got regular coffee with cinnamon hazelnut cream and just added a bit of their caramel macchiato. Not bad, but not the same. I can feel a weekend indulgence coming on.

We got back home, and had our snackage while watching a couple of episodes from Buffy season 5. I don't remember Riley being in so many eps this season.

Later, there was snuggling. And then we fell asleep.

Good day. A really good Birthday.

Happy Friday everybody!!