Tuesday Tipday: How To Be A Dick

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It's fairly easy to be beloved by all. I mean, aren't there enough tomes teaching us how to click with others or win friends and influence people?

If you really want to be original, you need to be daring. And if you want to be daring? Be a dick. Here's how.

How To Be A Dick

1) You are the most special of special people. Don't let anyone forget it. Especially people who've never met you before.

2) There's nothing wrong with interrupting people to correct their supposed knowledge in front of others. How else will they learn?

3) Why do people try to talk to you about their problems? How could they not know that your problems are much more problematic? You have so much to teach these plebeians about pain.

4) Small victories are for sissies. When some blow hard is going on about finishing the first chapter of his novel, feel free to feign interest. Gloating is for superstars and that, my friend, is you.

5) Don't return their call. Ever.

6) Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but honesty isn't. So, yeah, she totally looks fat in that and you can't be afraid to tell her. She shouldn't have asked if she didn't want to know.

7) You have wonderful taste. Go ahead and invite folks to dinner at that $100 a plate restaurant you love.

8) No, don't offer to pay for them. Yes, you're basically made of money, But if they couldn't afford the place they should not have come.

9) Yes, they're boring and badly dressed. But you can't deny them the pleasure of your company. You're too good looking and your suit costs too much money for that.

10) Crop-dusting keeps it away from you. What could be more important?

Tuesday Tipday: Photograph Your Best Friend

In five short years I've gone from being slightly terrified of even the fluffiest four-legged creatures to loving cats like my life depended on it. And, in that time, I've gotten pretty skilled at capturing the little buggers on camera. I figured I'd share some quick tips on how I get my most interesting shots.

How To Get Photos Of Your Pets That Don't Suck



1) Timing is everything. If your pets are anything like mine, they can usually be found running around like crazy or sleeping. The easiest way to capture them? Totally abuse nap time. Keep your camera out, so you don't have to do a lot of digging that might wake them up when the time's right, and click away.



2) Being a stalker pays off. I'm almost positive that animals commit their most interesting acts of cuteness when we're not looking. The best way to combat that? Follow them around for an hour or two and see what happens. Did Toby jump into the window to sun himself? That's perfect portrait light. Is Mittens playing with her favorite toy? Awesome action shots await.



Turn on your camera's continuous shooting mode, so you can hold the shutter release down and take (nearly) unlimited shots back to back, assuring you don't miss a thing. A photo that shows your pet doing what they love to do will always make you happy.



3) Revel in the details. The best shots don't always show everything. Use your camera's macro setting, get in close and take shots of your pet's whiskers, paw pads, or any distinctive markings. Get extreme close-ups of his face, ears or nose. You will not be sorry.



4) Interactivity is nice. Don't be afraid to get playful with your pet while you're taking photos. Some of the best shots could come from their reactions to you or whatever toy you're using with them.

There! Now get out there and show Mittens what you've got!