(Not Really) Happy Friday: Pleasant Distractions

Well, just when you thought today was going to be no shittier than a normal day...I've spent a significant amount of time watching comedies (The Five Year Engagement), Christmas movies (Desperately Seeking Santa) and old TV shows (Highlander) just to get away from the news.

If you're a worrier or a depressive or a cynic, it can be difficult to listen to breaking news like we got today without going a little nutty, even if you don't know anyone directly involved. So, my prayers go out to everyone in Connecticut and let's get ourselves to an extra long list of internet goodies. Be well, friends.

1)Christmas is around the corner. If you ever wonder what the super rich give each other, Hello Giggles has an idea. The $52,000 playhouse might be my favorite. And by favorite I mean most insane waste of cash ever.

2) Kitten dance party, anyone? I think we need it!

3) If it weren't for the relatively small size of these animals/insects, humanity would be in for a world of freaky ass hurt.

4) Lions and tigers are big enough to hurt people. These zoo videos show why we need so much unbreakable glass between us and the beasts.

5) Frogs are people, too.



6) Still doing your holiday shopping but wondering what's appropriate to spend on certain people in your life? What Should I Spend is here to help!

7) Rap music has never been funnier.

8) Holiday shopping for a lot of guys? This list of gift ideas won't steer you wrong.

9) Behold the tranquil beauty of these 10 baths with amazing views, and, if you're lucky, plan a trip.

10) Finally, here's links to 14 holiday films you can watch online.

That's all for now. Go enjoy the weekend!

Fear Itself

He's fearless.

This morning I was reading a job search article which noted some advice from the author of a book called Be Fearless.

Write out a list of all the skills and qualities that got you to where you are. Own them!

I shuddered a bit. He meant, of course, to give readers a way to shore themselves up so they could face future challenges. But, I couldn't help but see it differently.

What skills and qualities have gotten me to a point where I'm unhappy with my career, social life, finances and personal development?

You noticed, I hope, that those are some major life areas. Almost all of them, in fact. It's not good. For every step forward I feel myself sliding backward into an abyss of my own making. The key for me is always fear. It's played a major role in every decision and non-decision of my teen and adult life.

The question, as always, is how do I fight it? How, without the therapy and drugs I can't afford anyway, do I stare fear down and tell it to fuck off?

We know what Nike has been telling us for decades, but when you're racked with anxiety it's hard to even consider beginning something that freaks you out. I'm clearly more afraid of change than I am of dying with things staying the same. Why? Why do I allow it to have such a hold over my life?

Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe I need to let go of my analytical crutch and just Do My Opposite. Say hello to that cool looking person in Panera. Make that cold call. Introduce myself via email to that author. Research that idea. Face the blank page and start writing that story down. Send that script off to agents. Go left when I'd usually go right. Say yes when I would normally say no for no good reason.

Today I'm going to begin to consciously Do My Opposite. Because, this isn't good enough.

How do you become fearless in life?

Dammit Davy!

I grew up watching The Monkees. That might sound odd for a 37 year old to say, but by the time I was a tween, the '60s were back and Nickelodeon was playing The Monkees in hour-long blocks twice a day.

What's most disturbing about this for me is that Davy Jones was only 66. My mom is 61. It is not time for people my mom's age who were previously healthy to start suddenly dropping dead. That scares the shit out of me. Just...Dammit!

Compadres

I've been chatting via email with another blogger about making and keeping friends, and how difficult it seems to be (for some of us, at least).

When I was a kid, I always had a couple of buddies I did things with: going roller skating or swimming, having sleep overs, heading to the movies, passing notes in class...But I was never one of those people with a gaggle of amigos surrounding me at all times. I was quiet, studious, lacking in confidence, overweight, well-mannered, four-eyed and frequently riddled with acne. Any one of those things could have knocked me out of cohort competition, but I suspect the combination was what really did me in.

I spent the occasional moment, as a young'n, wondering why more people didn't like me, but I was basically fine with having only one or two close friends. Now, of course, I've been without close friends who live nearby for several years.

It's odd. Even when I was young and thinking about friendship two things never occurred to me: completely changing who I was to fit in more and concern over my future ability to make friends. I guess it seemed like I'd always be able to run into someone somewhere who had things in common with me.

Creating and maintaining friendships is like money management, or brewing the perfect pot of coffee. No one teaches you that stuff. They all just assume you'll get it or that you'll ask the right questions and then they can help you. Clearly, it doesn't always work that way.

What have you learned about friendship since becoming an adult?