Happy Friday: Cleanin' House

Well, this has been a productive time for me. I got an article written today, ran some errands and (this is a biggie) cleaned out my closets and cabinets and bins.

Oh, Lordy! I've got seven bags of clothes, shoes, purses, belts, jackets, kitchen goods and old magazines to take to the Goodwill tomorrow. It feels good. I was holding on to all these clothes that I haven't been able to fit into in nine years. Purses I was keeping because someone gave them to me as gifts. Magazines I never got around to reading. Shoes I thought I would wear, that I never wore.

This is so much better.

Also, with the exception of yesterday when it was raining, I went somewhere every day. So, I'm breaking through this agoraphobia day by day.

That? So. Much. Better.

What's happening online nowadays...

1) The truth about fear from the woman who runs Facebook. If fear is keeping you from doing anything you want to do, read this.

2) “Life really begins when you have discovered that you can do anything you want.” - William J. Reilly

3) Any ladies who need some encouragement/tips for traveling alone should check out The Gypsy Gals.

4) Everyone needs to relax and distress. Here's some help if you need it.

5) Don't think you're not an expert at anything just because you don't have a degree in it. You just need to figure out what kind of expert you are.

6) Finally, 40 cats who suck at hide-and-seek.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Good Problems To Have

Ah, the '70s...

I don't think I've ever had this much trouble fitting my life stuff into my work day. I've got a friend I haven't called back in two weeks, a stove that needs cleaning, three writing projects waiting for my attention, groceries that need to be bought, blogs I haven't caught up on, my own blog I'm barely writing. The list is really non-the-fuck-stop.

And yet...

It feels really good to have this issue. I'm busy! I have irons in the fire! I have a little bit of a life that's more than fuzzy dreams and wishes.

I know a lot of people have WAY more stressful jobs than I do and have A LOT more difficulty organizing their non-work lives. I figure I need to do about four things to really get this down to a science...

1) Start going to bed at a reasonable hour.

2) Start waking up at a reasonable hour.

3) Figure out when I'm doing work stuff and stick to it.

4) Start working somewhere other than my house every day.

While it's true that I'm getting my work done, it's also true I'm developing some kooky life habits around that work. I think my naughty subconscious might be trying to chip away at me.

I'M NOT GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN.

I'm going to sleep well, wake up fresh, do my yoga, have my breakfast and set this bitch on fire!

I Am Not My Hair

Why is hair sometimes such an emotionally charged thing? Women are especially prone to worrying about this; since all men really have to deal with is the possibility of going bald, they do get it easier. But, women? We have a lot more to think about with regards to hair.

We worry ourselves over getting the right length, shape or color. Does it go with my skin tone? Does it make me look too old or too young? Does it look professional enough, or freeing enough? We endure mild forms of torture with a variety of chemicals and hot as hell tools to get it all just right. Or so we think.

Well, I am done. I stopped all the fussing with heat a few years ago. I simply got tired of trying. And now I've decided to stop with the chemicals. As of early this summer I stopped relaxing my hair, after 23 years of holding fast to unnaturally straight (for me) tresses.

For those of you who don't know, having your hair relaxed is no joke. That stuff is potent. If you leave relaxer on too long it can dissolve your hair or burn your skin. And yet, millions of women take the risk for kink-free strands.

We also blow dry or flat iron our hair into submission. And, many Black women will remember having their hair done in the kitchen as children with a hot comb. This was a metal comb that was sat on the open fire of a stove and then raked through the hair to straighten it. I know! It was insanely capable of burning the shit out of you if the person doing the combing wasn't really careful. Or if you moved. Oh, God. If you moved, forget about it!

My freshman year of college in 1993. Long before having to endure styling over bald spots.

My reasons for going natural were two-fold. In 2008 my hair fell out and it's never really recovered. I'm hoping that getting rid of the bi-monthly usage of harsh chemicals will help my hair finally grow back. (I did see a doctor who specializes in hair/scalp issues, by the way. None of the stuff he gave me helped.) Also? HUBS and I just couldn't afford the cost of upkeep anymore. It cost $50 every time I got my hair relaxed. Considering our previous financial situation, I actually started to feel guilty when I went to the salon. I was always thinking about the bills we could pay with that cash or the groceries we could buy.

The downside now? I'm embarrassed to say it, but I have no idea how to care for my natural hair texture or how to style it in this weird in-between stage. And I have no idea what to do with it once it's fully natural.

I was never good at futzing with my hair anyway. I've never had the arm strength for all that hands-over-head stuff that creative styling requires. Now? Thank God I own a lot of scarves, headbands and bobby pins, because I'm in some combination of those things daily.

So I'm waiting. Waiting for my hair to normalize. Waiting to figure out a way to look polished with whatever my kinky/curly hair will turn into when all the relaxer has grown out. Waiting for a new freedom that I wish I'd been brave enough to dive into ages ago.

Music Monday: I Must Be Losing My Mind...

I kinda like a song by a Jonas Brother. I...I don't know what's happening to me over here.



On the other hand, I also like this cool, odd little song featuring my new fave, Kimbra. So, I must not be going completely insane. Right?

Cell Phone! What, What!!

Blogging from my LG Optimus V! I'm so cool, now internet!!!

Just Call Me Gunslinger McGraw

Me, on the shooting range. I am now in love with a Glock 9.

On our way to and from Philly HUBS and I made stops with our friends Zombie Apocalypse and his wife Gentle Teacher at their home in Ohio. They have actual acres up there, and Lake Erie passes behind their house.


This is their driveway, people!

As much as I love HUBS, it was nice to talk to someone other than him. I know how that sounds, but I did tell him that and he agreed! We both have fairly solitary jobs, and rarely do much talking with other people aside from each other. Zombie and Gentle showed us around their place when we got there (after about eight hours of driving and a few infuriating wrong turns that took us several miles out of our way) and made us an amazing dinner of grilled hamburgers, steaks and chicken with tater tots, Zombie style baked beans and fresh corn on the cob. Crap, y'all. It was so, so good!


Some of their ducks at the watering hole.

They have three dogs, a cat, ducks that they use for eggs, blueberry bushes and tons of flowers. They just moved in back in January. The house already had a guest room and a guest apartment with its own bathroom and kitchen. It also has granite on the walls in the kitchen. Swanky! They live out in the middle of nowhere, but it's beautiful there. Being a city person I couldn't spend my life in an area like that, but it's a lovely place to visit.



Even though we were exhausted we stayed up talking for a few hours, retiring at about midnight. The next day they took us out to breakfast at a local place they like to visit Mr. C's Restaurant. The food was amazing! God, I am a true sucker for breakfast.



After that we headed to the gun range. That's right, folks. Gun range. We shot a couple of revolvers, the aforementioned Glock 9, a civilian version of an AK 47 and a .357 Magnum. I did pretty good considering that I wasn't wearing my glasses (the safety goggles wouldn't fit over them) and I hadn't shot since I was about eight years old.


HUBS and Zombie getting ready for some long range shootin'.

The one drawback was that I was wearing short sleeves and an open neck top. Why was this a drawback, you ask? Because the shells would pop out of the gun, blazing hot and hit my bare skin. I even got one in the chest that almost went down my shirt. Yowza! I have a tiny scar on my right arm from a burn mark left from one of the shells. Is it weird that it makes me feel slightly badass?


Gentle, Zombie and HUBS leaving the restaurant.

Music Monday: Phew!

Man alive, y'all! Last week was packed with frustrating and yet exciting stuff for me. I'm looking forward to getting back to a week with at least some peaceful, restful moments, and if this weekend was any indication, HUBS and I are off to a good start.

Well, I hope the weekend was good to you, too, and that the work week will find you happy and fulfilled.

Until next time, enjoy a little Marina and the Diamonds, why don't you?