Tuesday Tipday: Unsick Your Cat!

As you know I've been dealing with some mighty stubborn sick cat issues for the past six weeks or so. And, as of last Friday the kittens all have upper respiratory illnesses. We had to take them to the vet on Sunday to get antibiotics for them. (This would have been a complete budget buster, by the by, had I not lobbied to pay only one visit fee and then presented a coupon I found for our vet that gave us a free initial kitten exam. Meaning? All we had to pay for was the $11.40 medicine. Yes, my friends, couponing works.) They're still wheezy, sneezy and runny, but at least they are a lot more energetic than over the weekend. I take this as a positive sign.

Luanne still has her feeding tube in because she's refusing to go to food and just eat on her own. If I bring her food and water, she'll partake, but has rarely gone to sustenance willingly. Also, she keeps throwing up tiny amounts of food or water once or twice a week. After about a week of no vomiting, yesterday and today she puked again. But, this time? I noticed string in the vomit, i.e. she's actually ingesting that sweater they keep her in (to hide the feeding tube) when she cleans herself. So! Yay for additional issues!

I say all of this to lead you into a brief sick cat maintenance tutorial, via my two years experience with caked up kitty eyes, snotty noses, baby wipes, backside cleanings, forced feedings and worry filled nights.



SICK CAT 101

1) Pay close attention. Have they been sneezing? Are they congested? Do they seem to be eating and playing the same? If you've got a congested cat who doesn't seem to be eating much, get them to the vet ASAP. If they don't eat enough they could end up with fatty liver disease, which can be deadly but is easily treated if caught early.

2) Tricks to get your kitty buddy to eat. Things that might work are changing up their normal diet by adding super smelly wet food and heating it up to really release the odors or even adding clam juice/tuna juice to dry food to up the funk factor for their little noses. I've also heard that pumpkin is something cats like, so you can try enticing them with a bit of that. Just try to get them to eat something. But, make sure not to give them anything with onions or garlic, they have severe reactions to them, which would make the situation a shit ton worse.

3) Syringe feeding is an option. Alas, it is not an easy one. There will likely be much struggling, no matter how much they actually end up liking the food you're forcing on them. Be sure to get syringes and food amounts from your vet so you feed them enough to maintain their weight and health. Hill's Science Diet has the perfect food for this. Scoop it into the syringe and hold the cat steady, making sure their butt is up against something so they can't back away. Put a hand on the cat's head so you can press each side of their jaw with a finger simultaneously. Once you do this the jaw will open easier and you can squeeze the food in. Massaging the cat's neck will encourage them to swallow and not spit out their gruel. Ha! We know tricks, you squirmy felines!

4) Dammit! Nunna that shit worked. Now what? You might need to get them a peg tube. This will make feeding them and giving them water/medicine a lot easier, since you won't be forcing stuff down their throat. Be prepared for an expensive procedure (Luanne's cost $1,340), and some up keep in addition to actual feedings. You'll likely get extremely detailed instructions from your vet, but the biggest things are making sure to flush the tube with a set amount of water before and after feeding, being sure the feeding process lasts for at least 20 minutes and cleaning the tube with hydrogen peroxide at least twice a day. When cleaning, get in there really good and wipe the tube and stomach down so that no gunk cakes up (and it will if neglected).

Phew! now, aside from all that, keep doing whatever you usually do with your cat. Petting them, playing with them, talking to them and watching King of Queens reruns with them. You want to keep them as calm and comfortable as possible while they recover.

So, I hope this helps. But, really, I hope you never need this info. Having sick pets sucks all kinds of ass. Yes, sir. All. Ass.

A Lot...And Yet, Not So Much

Luanne: our little Elizabethan poet.

Well, my holy fucking Lord. This has been quite a couple of weeks. I'm gonna break things down into bullet points so my weary mind can process the info as easily as possible.

-Kitten Update: They opened their eyes last week on the same day I took Luanne to the vet specialist. Today I noticed that one of them was cleaning a paw, so they're starting to pick up good kitty habits. Also last week? Miller's kitty mama instincts kicked into high gear and she moved the kittens from the safe, clean, padded box we made for her.

I heard kitty yelping and went downstairs to find that Miller had somehow moved the box a good 15 feet. The box was upside down and her BlackKitten was half trapped underneath. I moved the box and she ran off with BlackKitten. Where did she move them, you're wondering? To my 20 year old base drum that can best be described as a dusty bug graveyard. Oh, well. At least they're all safe.



-Luanne Update: I took Luanne to the specialist last Tuesday and was told that she simply wasn't getting enough food or water via forced syringe. We had to have a feeding tube installed. It made feeding and giving her water a lot easier. Luckily she hasn't had any complications from the surgery.

As I was in the waiting room, I noticed that her left eye was cloudy. I started to panic, and, naturally, my mind went straight to cancer: What the fuck! God, please don't let her have retinoblastoma! What if that's really why she stopped eating! Please don't let her go blind!

Guess what else happened? After we spent almost $2,000 getting her a feeding tube and fancy diagnostic tests she decided to start eating again. The. Very. Next. DAY. That's our little Luanne cat. Perfect fuckin' timing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's doing a bit of eating on her own. But, that procedure took up a huge chunk of living expenses. And! Feeding her via tube, while easier, is still no picnic. For a few days I was doing 4 feedings a day, plus cleaning the opening in her belly twice a day. There's a whole specific procedure that goes along with this thing. It's time consuming and tiring.

The specialist had given her a new antibiotic and after one dose of that fucker she could smell her food and was basically back to breathing normally. Obviously, if she ever gets sick again, we're going right for the Zeniquin. We're now down to two feedings a day, thank God. Hopefully, within the next week or so, we can get her tube taken out.

-Me Update: I'm not sure what exact parameters are used when people say "I threw my back out," but I do know that last Thursday, Friday and Saturday I was in an awesome amount of pain. Until the incident I was doing pretty good. I'd done some stretching and yoga Thursday morning and was feeling sort of strong and capable and less tired. Then I took a couch nap. When I tried to get up a couple of hours later I moved funny or twisted wrong or somehow angered God Almighty and the Devil, because I was suddenly fucked.

Every position hurt: sitting, standing, bending, laying on my stomach, back or either side, moving or being still. I took two Excedrin, which did precisely N.O.T.H.I.N.G. and went to bed in semi-agony. I returned to my old standby, Advil, Friday morning and was hoping to have a relatively easy day of feedings and nappings to rest my back. Especially since I had to get up at the ass fucking crack of dawn ( I've said fuck a lot in this post, haven't I? Indeed, and it's completely appropriate in every instance. Word.) to take Julia in to get fixed. (By the way, that surgery went fine. Except for the tapeworm they had to call me about that afternoon. Yay! Additional expenses!)

Not so fast, Jackson! I was almost done with Luanne's first feeding when the food stopped going through the tube and the syringe kept popping out and spewing food all over the place. I tried massaging the tube where it met her skin, like her nurse suggested if the tube got blocked. But, it didn't work. They also suggest forcing 5 to 10 cc's of carbonated beverage into the tube to help clear it. Guess who didn't have any soda in the house? Can you also guess who had to get her hurtin' ass to Walmart and looked like a crack head while doing so? Ooh, you guys ah wicked smaaaaat.

I also had to rush Luanne back to the specialist when her tube got blocked again on Monday. This time I really couldn't fix it. They had to loosen the flange that keeps the tube from slipping too far in. Luckily, her weight was good, her eyes were mostly cleared and her nurse gave me an A for keeping things clean. That's all amazingly good news, but we all know that sudden doctor's appointments are stressful, right? I will be so, so glad when everyone is totally healthy again.

Speaking of which, I was also constipated for about a week. I know, I know! Y'all just love to hear about constipation. It fills your hearts and makes your lives sing! My point is that I think stress and back pain caused it. Isn't it horrible how stress and pain fuck with all kinds of things that aren't directly related to the stressor, or the area of pain?

On the up side, A couple of days ago I started feeling like a real person again. I even exercised for over a half hour yesterday. EEee!

-HUBS Update: We haven't had sex in over a month. I feel really bad about it, but I also feel too tired and bothered with other stuff to give sex any effort. A therapist might help, but that shit ain't free, unfortunately.

God, I'm tired just going over it all. Enjoy your Thursday night TV folks! And, as always, thanks for listening.

Music Monday! I Don't Believe I'm Thinking Correctly

I can honestly say that I would like for everyone who cares about animals even the tiniest bit to pray for our little Luanne cat. I thought we were going to have to hospitalize her today, but the doctor said we were doing such a good job force feeding and watering and medicating her that it wouldn't be worth the money, since they'd just do the exact same stuff.

The vet said it's possible that the antibiotic shot they gave her was ineffective because her body only reacts to the stuff that made her well when we first got her. So, she gave me some of that, told me to up her water intake and said that if Luanne wasn't better in two to three days she'd set us up with a specialist to do some fancy, outrageously expensive tests.

Again? Please pray that this new drug will work, Luanne's nose will clear up, she'll smell her food and eat/drink on her own like a good little kitty girl.



In other news, I forgot to tell you guys that we took in a fifth cat. I know! I. KNOW. But we couldn't take the chance that Miller would get picked up by Trapper and then put down just because she's pregnant. So, on Friday morning of the week Trapper was taking all the strays, we pulled her into the house before anyone could see.

The kicker is that while all this Luanne stuff was going on today (that vet appointment took two full hours) Miller was busy preparing to give birth. I went into the basement to do laundry and noticed that Miller's water was slowly breaking as she moved around. She finally laid in the box we made for her and began...flexing? Yeah, let's just call it flexing.



That was an hour and a half ago. I had to come up to eat and haven't checked back yet, but I figure we'll have kittens by morning. EEEEEEeeeee! My delirium is right...