Monday, January 08, 2007

My Fiance Doesn't Like Bending: News At Eleven

I'm going to try real hard to post about this without snark. It's gonna be hard, ok? But I'm doing it because I love you boy. Now, on to the story.

So you know how we bought this house, right? Well there aren't many cabinets in the kitchen and we'll need to get something to put ALL THE FOOD THAT BOY EATS in. My ideas for a solution were of the obvious baker's rack/inhanced microwave cart type. Then the boy reveals his long held secret: HE DOES NOT LIKE TO BEND.

I was confused. See, I have a microwave cart at my place where I keep most of my canned goods/cereal/assorted dry foods. Apparently, for this whole year, the boy has been irritated by the fact that he has to bend down and look through the cart to get to his beloved bean-n-bacon soup. Still, I was confused. Because, you know, bending is just a part of life. Right? Everybody bends all the time, don't we? You pick up stuff, don't you? Put air in your tires. Or duck down when the head clearance is low. Right? RIGHT???

We have now had at least two arguments about not putting things we use often so close to the floor (!), and in something where everything can't be seen at once (!!). One of these heated conversations took place in the crowded customer service line at WalMart. Yes, really. We are now those people. The kind that make you all uncomfortable when you're trying to return the air matress you poked a hole into with your nipple piercing but are pretending it came with that hole, dammit.

After initially laughing my head off and admittedly making fun of the boy, I've tried to take the high road and figure out a solution that will...accomodate him. But as he's very sensitive about this primary priority issue, he gets frustrated and irritable whenever we discuss it. I suggested, during our WalMart confrontation, that he be in charge of organizing whatever storage thingie we put in the kitchen. Maybe it was just hunger, but can you believe that pissed him off? I bet you can believe him getting pissed made me pretty damn angry. I was honestly being all sincere and stuff, internet.

We looked at some options this weekend, and still can't come to a final decision. He essentially wants a baker's rack made of wood that we won't have to assemble. I know, what the hell, right?

Totally. I cannot believe how much effort we're having to put into this. But, always remember boy: rawr, RAWR, raaaaawwr.

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