Oh. That Finally Makes Some Sense.

I bet HUBS looked like this when he got his allowance as a kid. Then he went and blew it all on his first Playboy.

Somewhere around May 7 I got another call from the unemployment people. I have to say this was the first conversation I'd had with them since they took my benefits away where the person on the other end made the whole situation make sense.

Here's what the guy told me: I had two pools of money available that they could give me benefits from, and part of the investigation process was to see which I was eligible for. One stash was from an extension on my original claim, that I was eligible for immediately (YES!!!), the other was government money that I'd only be able to get if I was actually an employee somewhere (as opposed to doing freelance work). To get that money I'd need to make $1300 as an actual employee.

Another thing I didn't know? You can only file for unemployment against a company one time, and get those benefits for one year (unless you qualify for an extension of those benefits). If you're making a new claim, it has to be with a new company.

It took a while for me to really understand what he was saying to me. But he was blissfully patient. It all boiled down to HUBS and I getting a huge deposit (from all the weeks we got nothing) on the day we did BOWL STROLL 2009!!! We'll actually be ok for a little bit.

Thank God.

Are We Alcoholics Yet?

We drank all these and more, y'all! The one in the lower left corner? That's absinthe and it was outlawed for 95 years and only recently became legal in the states! It made HUBS' tongue numb!

Back in early April I got a $100 a week job reviewing bars and clubs for an entertainment website. They want me to focus on booze, which is not my strong suit. In fact, until I got this job I had never had a full drink of any sort in my whole life. I never liked the taste of alcohol and didn't see a reason to booze it up just because other people did.

Well, maybe you can chalk this up to my recent high stress levels, but...um, I've been drinking. A lot. Like, sometimes, two whole drinks a week. That, my internet friends, is a ton for me. And, guess what? I kinda like it. I never finish anything I end up not liking, but when I get something good (for me that means sweet and light on the booze) drinking the whole thing makes me feel very adult. Like I know exactly what I want (I don't), how to get it (I wish) and how to act once I reel it in (I couldn't possibly).

We each have to have at least two drinks for my editor to be satisfied we tested enough of each bar/club's spirits. This has meant a lot of mixed drinks for me and HUBS. And since we don't get reimbursed for food and drink on top of the hundred they pay me, we usually feel the need to finish everything. Which means if I don't like something HUBS will try to drink it all, along with his two drinks...Which also means HUBS sometimes comes away rip-roaring-rootin'-tootin-thinks-peeing-in-the-alley-is-fun drunk. Let's all pray my sweet HUBS doesn't become a lushy hobo because of this, ok?

Thank God for small jobs. Now, if I could only rack up about five or six other small gigs that each pay $100/week. Fuck, you guys. HUBS and I would be set!