In an effort to keep everyone pumped for the weekend, I'm starting my Friday Fix Mix to help you dance your troubles away and, hopefully, introduce you to some cool music you may not have heard before. Enjoy!
I like shooting candid shots. I've developed a skill for putting my camera on continuous shooting mode, holding my camera down low or up high and taking pictures without anyone knowing. You catch cool stuff that way.
I miss going on photo walks. I won't be doing that now, of course, because it's too damn hot. But now that I'm not locking myself up in the house anymore, I'll have to get back into it this fall. It feels good to have new pics to show people.
Actually, there's a lot I need to get back into. I'd like to be able to blame this on the heat, but I've pooped out on those lists I made at the beginning of the year. Day to day life and my tendency to tuck myself into my comfort zone have led to, well, basically the same ol' me.
The same old me isn't horrible, it's just not as cool and fun-loving and free and determined as I would like.
It has me wondering. Can anyone really change? We all have our wild hopes and dreams. When we don't reach them, it usually seems that the reason is us, ourselves, the person who wanted to change enough to hit a goal in the first place.
The what-ifs always bog me down. Maybe you're what-ifs are positive, but mine are always negative. Now I'm thinking What if trying harder isn't in my nature? What if my view of the future is so dim that I won't be able to really accomplish anything no matter what I do? What if I have so little faith in myself that I'll continue to stand in my way?
I did something new today! I recorded my first ever podcast!
So, for my first (as yet untitled) podcast it seemed like a good idea to talk about something I know. Since I've been a film critic for almost seven years, movies are what I know. What I've done is watched Alex Cross, a film I've never seen before, and critiqued it as I watched.
Some things to keep in mind:
1) I'm new at this! Be patient with me!
2) This will be filled with spoilers, so if you had planned to watch Alex Cross and those bother you, wait until after you see the film on your own to listen.
3) I cursed a few times in here, so if that bugs you, feel free to skip my little experiment.
4) The whole thing takes about an hour and 43 minutes. I do an intro, watch the movie and then wrap things up at the end.
5) I used Dropbox to store the file online. Follow the link below to download the audio or add it to your own Dropbox account and then play it.
6) Title suggestions? Love the idea? Hate the idea with a passion? Have ideas for movies I should watch for the next podcast? Give me your opinions in the comments!
I mentioned a few weeks ago how my therapist wanted me to consider going back on medication for my depression. I thought about what she said, that since I've been depressed off and on (mostly on) for over twenty years the root cause is probably a chemical imbalance that lifestyle changes alone won't take care of. She might be right. Lord knows I've had trouble keeping any momentum going even with things I love to do, so I talked to my doctor and started Zoloft Friday.
I had some nausea and dizziness over the weekend, luckily I think that was just my body getting used to it because those symptoms were gone today. It'll take a while for it to really kick in, but I'm hoping that knowing the medicine is there to support me will help me get a move on and keep going. Wish me luck!
So, aside from trying to get better and help HUBS get better this past month, I've also been reading a book that was suggested to me by a reader of this blog (Thanks, Jeri!).
The Depression Cure was written by a doctor who created a drug-free program to help people kick their depression symptoms in the ass.
What I love most about the program is that everything is doable, inexpensive or free and based on some pretty simple ideas. Since we tend to close ourselves off from life when we're depressed, we end up making things worse because, guess what? We need to get some exercise, hang out with people, sleep a solid part of the night, go outside and see the sun and do things we enjoy so that we stop dwelling on our problems (perceived and real).
I haven't fully implemented all of his ideas, mostly because there's still a bit of upheaval around these parts, but I am happy about what I've been able to do so far.
1) I'm taking an omega 3 supplement because it's been shown to help with mood.
2) I've been using Breathe Right strips since Friday, and they have greatly helped my ability to sleep through the night. (With the exception of Monday night, when I was up for an hour and 40 minutes dealing with a bout of food poisoning. I'm done with you, Applebee's.)
3) Now that it's cooler outside, I've been spending a lot more time outside in the sun. Not purposely soaking up the sun, but not actively staying to the shadows when I'm outside, either.
4) With all our HUBS medical trips of the past few weeks, I've probably talked to more people this month than I have all summer. Even though doing so much of it was annoying at times, I know it's better than locking myself away in my cat-filled house on a daily basis.
5) I let HUBS talk me into swimming last week. His physical therapist said it would be good for his back and leg, and he found a place with a whirlpool, sauna and steam room to help with my congestion that we could try for free. And, you know what? I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was free. We went in the middle of the week at night so hardly anyone was there. The pool was a balmy 84 degrees so it didn't shock to get into or out of. The whirlpool without bubbles was to die for. You have my heart Jewish Community Center. You. Have. My. Heart.
6) I've become completely absorbed in the games on my phone. Ruminating is one thing that will make depression worse every time. I needed to get my mind off things and turned to my neglected game apps. It has worked tremendously. I even had HUBS futz with my phone to give me more storage space so I could add more games. I'm loving the freedom it's giving my brain!
I plan to do more as I feel better. Honestly, I feel like I have some control over my symptoms for the first time in my life. If nothing else, this program works just by giving me hope of being able to beat this thing. Plus, I'll have a nice list of steps I can take to make things better when I start to get down.
If you're battling the blues or full blown depression, I cannot say enough to recommend getting your hands on this book. I really believe it will help.
Do you have any tried and true methods for beating back the blues? I'd love to hear them, so share in the comments!
This weekend was pretty low key, but I did do something essential on Saturday: I went to see a new therapist.
Six free sessions were made possible by HUBS' insurance company and their employee assistance program. I also made an appointment for free financial counseling that'll take place over the phone Wednesday. I'm not sure the money man will be able to tell me anything I don't already know, but it's worth a shot.
The therapist had some good starting suggestions, and until my next appointment my homework is to look into the things she suggested. And, that includes a visit to a homeopathic store to see if any natural stuff can alleviate my depression symptoms.
Wow, I am low on inspiration today. I probably needed more sleep and a much stronger caffeinated beverage this morning. But, that doesn't mean I lack for new sounds. New Music Week continues!
As someone who is riddled with fears, wild hopes and anxieties, it is frequently important to sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up and do nothing. And I'm not talking about turning off the TV so you can start the latest bestseller. God, no. I'm literally talking about doing nothing.
About twice a month I sit in the bathroom with fresh air blowing across my face and stare out the window. (What do you mean, am I using the bathroom? A-Rude question; B-Sometimes, yes; C-What does it matter?) All I care about is having a little time to clear my mind of worries and responsibilities.
That's all that should matter to you, too. Here's how to make it happen.
How To Do Nothing
1) This is not a chore. Don't immediately add Do Nothing to the already long list of crap you have to take care of. Planning for it will make it seem like a duty instead of a sanity-saving measure.
2) Stop where you are. This isn't about marathon length quiet time; the goal is to fit it into your daily activities. I don't make special trips to the bathroom for this, I just linger a bit longer than necessary on occasion. So, if you finish loading the dryer, stop for a minute or two, listen to the hum and do nothing. I promise, it will feel nice.
3) Find what you like. If you're having trouble carving out 60 seconds for this, you're probably trying too hard to "do it right". Think of something you enjoy looking at and use that as your focus for nothingness. Ripples blowing across a lake? Fine. Running horses? Great. Naked people? That'll do the trick. Commit that image to your imagination if it's not naturally occurring around you. Then, use it as a starting point.
4) Meditate if you dare. Years ago when I was living in my first apartment after moving out of my mom's place, I tried in earnest to meditate. I'd lay on special mats and light special candles and listen to special music. Nothing much ever came of it. Then, one night with my windows open and sounds of the street pouring in, I decided to sit in a lawn chair in my living room in the dark and try again.
I don't know exactly what happened, but I had some sort of semi-transcendent moment that scared the shit out of me and made me stay away from meditation for over a decade. My point? Find what works for you. All the prep work I put in clearly stopped me from having a real experience. If you need more than a minute on the toilet, take it.
5) Relax, already. To really clear you mind, don't try to clear your mind. That will only litter your brain with all kinds of useless rumblings that will be even harder to get out. Let your mind wander. The thoughts will come and go, and in between them you'll have little spells of calm blankness. You will finally be doing nothing, and you'll like it.
I don't know how many of you might be in the Midwest, but Mother Nature is no joke right now. Yesterday it got up to 108 degrees. Right now? It's 103 and looks like it'll get up to 106 before the sun goes down. Glory! I guess it's summer now, huh?
HUBS will be on vacation next week, and I am actually really glad we don't have a trip planned. I'm at the beginnings of trying to make some changes, and if we were going away next week it would be even harder to get a grip on some of my crap.
Well, that's all for now. Let's look around online and see what we can find, shall we?
1) Anyone dealing with depression or anxiety knows that it can be hard to talk yourself down in the midst of a bad spell. Here's some simple advice that might help if you're blue or mired in panic.
3) I find string theory fascinating. Writer Rob Bryanton tries to explain a world of more than three and a 1/2 dimensions with some intriguing YouTube videos and a very well written blog. I got lost in them, even though I by no means understood all of it. It's nice to stretch your brain, isn't it?
In my effort to get some grocery shopping done, I was finally able to wrest myself from the comfort of A/C and shade this morning. HUBS and I have been eating out all week, but tonight I have a nice array of dinner options to choose from which won't require me leaving the house again or talking on the phone to a teenager eager to grow up, move out and get a better job.
And now, you know what? I don't feel anything like cooking. But, I suppose we can deal with that later.
Actually, the only real cooking I've done on the hot days of this week involved a giant chocolate chip cookie that filled an 11 inch cast iron skillet. You'll have to click the link to get a gander at it. I meant to photograph my cookie (*giggle*), but I've been too busy eating each time I come near it to bother.
That's enough of that! Let's get on with the internet!
1) If you're vacationless this summer like lots of us looking to save money, get your travel kicks courtesy of Sonia's Travels. This chick travels A LOT. I'm jealous.
2) Still wondering how much sunscreen you need to apply and how often, already? David McCandless and friends provide a handy infographic for you. Just scroll about 1/4 of the way down the page.
4) If you're looking to do some reading this weekend, check out Click. It's a book about how people forge fast bonds with one another and how we can use those things to our advantage when getting to know others. As someone who's always looking to break past my shyness barrier, I really appreciated the knowledge. It's a helpful, interesting and quick read.
5) Want to sit at home and do some shopping? eShakti offers all their styles up to size 26 and you can customize many of the items. This gorgeous number will be mine in about a week, thanks to a contest from Eat The Damn Cake.
Hello, lovelies! I hope you've all had a well-worked day in prep for a weekend of lounging by the pool, reading trashy novels on the deck while burgers sizzle on the grill, partying or whatever else you may have planned.
HUBS and I have some Father's Day festivities, but other than that, our weekend is an open book. Since we have temps in the 90s in St. Louis, I can assure you that I will be spending as much time as possible under the roar of any available AC.
Now, let's take a look at some interesting internet things, shall we?
1) I'm not sure what to make of this. Vagina funnel, anyone?
2) I can't be the only one who wonders if the beauty products I pick up really do what they claim to. If you shop at BeautySage, you'll know they work and are worth the dough.
3) I'm majorly intrigued by True & Co., an online bra club where all bras cost $45.
5) If you're planning to be out and about this weekend, you might want to get some help from the Oh Ranger! Park Finder app and the UV Detector app. I wish the UV Detector was available on Android but it doesn't appear to be. Oh, well. I just got another excuse to stay indoors!
That's all for this week, friends. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. And everyone else? Enjoy your weekend!
A few weeks ago we went from being able to bank on 75 or 80 degree days to plunging back into what felt like winter weather. And in the weeks since then we've gone from one extreme to the other seemingly every day.
After watching a Ina Garten work her magic while waiting for my final late March medical guinea pig work to be done, I decided to make her Roasted Potato Leek Soup. Of course, since this is me we're talking about, I made some changes. This recipe is adapted from hers, though.
Roasted Potato Leek Soup
1 lb Yukon Gold potatoes, cut into 3/4 slices, unpeeled
1 lb red potatoes, prepared as above
4 leeks, well cleaned, chop white and light green parts only
1/4 cup olive oil
salt and cracked pepper
3 cups arugula/spinach
1/2 cup dry white wine
4 cups chicken stock, homemade if possible
1 12 oz can evaporated milk
8 oz light sour cream McCormick Hot Madras Curry Powder, optional 1 11 oz can Green Giant Southwestern Style Corn, optional
1/4 cup Parmesan
Get your oven to 400 degrees and arrange your leeks and potatoes in a single layer on a cookie sheet that's got some olive oil (or cooking spray) on it. Salt and pepper everything, drizzle some more oil on top and roast for 40 to 45 minutes. Throw your arugula/spinach in there and roast it all long enough for them to wilt, about 4 to 6 minutes. When that's done, pour your wine right onto the pan and scrape up any crispy bits. If things are still stuck, you can use some of the stock to help.
Now, pour all that into a big old pot. Add the rest of your chicken stock, the milk, sour cream and canned corn if using. Using an immersion blender, get everything all ground up to your desired chunkiness (of course, if you don't have an immersion blender you can instead dump the veggies into a food processor). Get the pot set over medium heat, add your seasonings to taste and get it hot. Pour into bowls, top with cheese and enjoy.
This was so good! Perfect for a chilly night. And if you're only feeding a couple of people, it will last at least a week for leftovers. I'll definetly make this again. Thanks, Ina!
Well, this was a decidedly different kind of Easter for us. It wasn't as bad as we thought it would be, but it wasn't exactly a ton of laughs, either. I'll explain more tomorrow.
I hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend. We took a little trip on Friday, which I'll talk about later in the week. Today, though, it was hard to completely concentrate on anything. I did manage to sign up for a couple of volunteering projects through Volunteer Match, one of which is this Wednesday, so I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.
Here it is, everyone. I've either done something brave or really stupid. Tired of all the conflicting reports on what the correct things are to put on a resume, I finally said Fuck All! and made something that is, for me anyway, totally new. The old format, even though it was approved by a resume writing instructor at a local college, didn't get me anywhere. I believe this one is more interesting and yet still tells people all the basics. Also? I started applying for jobs with this resume today.
Who else is looking for a job? Have you noticed, like I have, that no matter how many articles you read by career coaches, headhunters, professional resume writers and HR honchos that there's always another set of similar pros who'll tell you to do the exact opposite thing when writing a resume? You have! Aren't you tired of it?
Well, I am. And since the resume that I went to a resume class to write and had rubber stamped by a resume writer who works at a local college is clearly not working, I've decided to try something new. Yesterday, I spent two hours writing another resume. I do not mention that I'm "creative" or "detail-oriented" or good on the switchboard. I do not mention that I'm a writer who's good at writing. What I do mention is that I like cats, alliteration and laughing.
Yeah, it sounds goofy, but since the old way isn't working I'm trying something different: telling more of my story with my resume, while also letting whoever reads it in on the fact that, yes, I am capable of holding down a job. I'm going to do a bit more work on it tomorrow, post it for you and then start using it to apply for jobs. Wish me luck!
Yesterday I told you about a book I read last week that offers tips for getting things done. The book was 18 Minutes, by Peter Bregman.
It's a quick, insightful read that I finished in just two days. I think the most important thing about this book isn't even the time management system he came up with, but the little nuggets of knowledge sprinkled throughout. Witness...
1) Pausing can help you make a smarter next move.
2) If your whole identity is wrapped up in one thing (your job, your status as a parent, the amount of money you have in the bank...) then the loss of that one identity will cripple you.
3) If you don't know what your life is about, you'll waste all your time even if you work your ass off.
4) Understand your obsessions and you'll be clued in to your natural motivators.
5) Passions are things you enjoy working at even if you feel like you're failing at them.
See? His book is filled with tidbits like this that make total sense as soon as you come across them.
What I love about his to-do system is that it's based not just on all the things you need to do on a daily basis (I've put "DISHES" and "LAUNDRY" on many a to-do list), but on your overall goals for the year. So, if you've decided you need to make new friends and dress better in 2012, each day should be spent focusing on activities that help you achieve those goals.
Bregman's idea is that only around five percent of your day should be spent on the laundry-dishes-buy-another-20-rolls-of-TP to-dos of life. Because, if that's all your days are made up of you won't get where you want to be and will end up feeling you've wasted your limited, precious time.
After plotting my goals for the year and making a rather extensive to-do list last week, I found it completely overwhelming to complete in one day. So, I did what I do best and put the whole thing off. Yesterday I woke up with a renewed interest in giving it a go. I didn't come anywhere near getting my 10 item list done, but as of right now I've only got four things left.
A couple of hours ago it occurred to me that no one is forcing me to make a daily to-do. For the foreseeable future I'll be making weekly ones. I don't think this would have seemed like an option before reading this book, and I don't know why. Bregman talks a lot about knowing your strengths, weaknesses and what makes you different and then tailoring your life so that everything is optimized for the way you work and get things done.
I love crossing off my to-dos, but if my day is too structured (even while working from home) I feel trapped...So, weekly to-do lists! I feel so much lighter now!
18 Minutes is a great book to pick up if you want some insight into how to make your productive days really matter. Give it a try.
What does your ideal getting-things-done day look like?
Last week I read a new book about planning and organizing your time, and today I tried out the system listed in the book. I'll write more about the specifics tomorrow, but for now it's obvious that this isn't going to be easy to manage.
My previous system was pretty simple. I made a list of five things I needed to get done and that was all I concerned myself with for the day. The problem, I found, was that I did the easy stuff, shied away from and avoided the difficult/scary stuff and came away with a day where I got things accomplished...But very little that would actually move my life forward.
I needed something else. Something that wouldn't overwhelm, but that would also push me to do the things I fear. As much as I liked the book I read, I'm not sure this is it. It is a step in the right direction, though, because I did manage to do something scary that I've been avoiding for a week.
So, a tiny victory leads us to some awesome new-week music...
What's your system for getting difficult things done?
HUBS and I have been having what I'm going to call mono flashbacks this week, and Lord knows the last thing you want to do when you're headache-ridden, weak and racked with dizzy spells is...Stand. So, cooking anything major is out for a few days.
I drove us out to Smashburger for lunch today. It just opened a few months ago and still has that new restaurant feeling inside. The first thing we noticed? Their little corner of the strip mall smelled amazing as soon as we opened the car doors. That's always an impressive sign of quality, I must say.
The small (1/4 pound) Spicy Baja Smash with sweet potato smashfries and chili was my choice. It was topped with guacamole (which I passed on to HUBS), lettuce, tomato, onion, jalapenos, pepper jack cheese and spicy chipotle mayo on a chipotle bun. What else can I say about it...Oh, yeah. GOOD! Juicy and spicy without being killer, meaty and crunchy and really just perfect.
The fries were covered with rosemary, olive oil and garlic, which was a nice change from your traditional cinnamon-sugar topped sweet potato fries. There was a lot of nice crispness in that basket, too. Yummy (said with guttural growl).
Their Angus chili was truly some of the best I've had. They laced it with onions, jalapenos and cheddar cheese. It was really meaty, which usually gets on my nerves, but the sauce was so good I just wanted to suck the whole thing down. My only gripe is that I wish they'd chopped the jalapenos so I could have skipped that step while eating.
HUBS enjoyed this production, which is a St. Louis Big Smash with chili cheese fries. His burger was on a nice pretzel bun (good, though it didn't taste as pretzely as some of the other pretzel breads I've had) with grilled onions, sweet peppers and garlic mushrooms, and provel cheese. He, of course, loved it. And, in case you're wondering, the standard fries are great as well.
I can absolutely see us going back; it's about a 20 minute drive away but it's worth it. Yea! New food! What new food have you enjoyed lately?
Unless you've been under a mossy rock for the past week and a half, you know we've been getting new fall TV shows. Yay! I've been watching as many as possible and hopefully by the end of next month I'll have a few new faves that I can look forward to each week.
Here's what I've seen so far:
Ringer: I cannot tell you how intriguing it was to find out that Buffy herself was coming back to TV. I missed the second episode, but plan to catch up online. I found this story of identical twins with screwy back stories interestingly twisty and something I can see myself getting into. Up All Night: Normally a show about new parents probably wouldn't appeal to me. But, the average show about the newly parented doesn't generally star the likes of Christina Applegate, Will Arnett and Maya Rudolph, does it? I have to admit that I was hoping the show would be funnier than it's ended up being so far. But! I will keep watching for a few weeks to see if it amps up the laughs.
Free Agents: I wasn't planning on watching this one, but decided to give it a shot anyway. Again, not outrageously funny so far, but everyone is so likeable I find it hard to turn away during an episode. It's pleasant and just amusing enough, so, for now, it stays on my radar.
The Secret Circle: Oh, Jesus. We've got another teen supernatural show on our hands, folks. I never got into Vampire Diaries, but I've seen enough of it to know that The Secret Circle looks and feels just like it. It wasn't horrible, but one viewing is positively all I need.
2 Broke Girls: This one was another nice comedy that didn't knock me out laughing. If you've seen the previews you know the girls in question are a sassy brunette and a stuck up blonde. But the thing I really liked about it (and PT...and HUBS) was that the blonde is actually smart, industrious and rather tough. We all thought for sure she'd be dumb and so rich-bitchy that she'd begrudge her waitressing gig and hardly work. I'm so glad to have a sitcom surprise me! That's enough reason to keep giving this one a try for a while.
New Girl: Now, here's a comedy that really did it for me. I'm willing to put aside the improbability of someone as cute as Zooey Deschanel not being able to get a guy, because she and everyone around her brought the funny. If you haven't seen this one you should check it out.
The X Factor: Wow. Just...Wow. As soon as this singing competition went off for the night I wished it was still on. It was that compelling and entertaining. And? Simon didn't piss me off once last night. Fabulous!
Revenge: Oh, my. We're still trying the glittery night-time soap, are we? I must say, I either hated or couldn't have given less of a shit about any of these characters. I also don't know how they could possibly keep things going for more than a season. I wish Everwood was still on.
I'm looking forward to about six more new shows, airing through October 30, plus I'm watching all my returning faves (P&R!) and looking into other new shows. Is there anything better than curling up on the couch with a warm piece of pie and a good TV show? Is there? What new fall shows have you liked so far? What are you still looking forward to?
