Well, Yeah

Internet, you'd be so proud of me. I can totally touch the kitty cat without running to immediately wash up afterwards. Even though the Tux admittedly cleans himself with his own saliva he at least does it often. I used to pet him quickly then head to the bathroom and scrub up like I was preparing for surgery. Well, no more!

I'm like, all used to his PRESENCE and stuff. Mostly. Sometimes I still get freaked by our little Tuxy. Like when I'm minding my own business alone and then I turn around and suddenly there's a cat all in my kool-aid like, "What's happenin mama, yo?" and usually I respond like "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!" all screaming and shit, cause that's how I do.

Sometimes Mr. Fluffy Face gets bitey and scratchy and one time, even though no one saw, he totally embarassed me. I was sleeping, right? I needed to turn over but Mr. Cat was right under my butt, so I moved him. He stood there for a bit while I sat arranging covers. Then our kitty buddy walked behind me, stood and put both paws on my right shoulder, then took the outside paw, reached around...AND SLAPPED ME. IN. THE. FACE. Never again will I deign to wake and move the kitty cat. NEVER AGAIN.

Ah Ha

So the boy and I went to Tarjay last week. He agreed to buy me a swimming suit since the whole citygirl-should-get-in-a-pool-this-summer thing is his idea. You will simply never guess what happened. We went in, looked around the scant swimming section, I picked 3 full piece suits and 3 separates. I went into the dressing room and found my suit on the third try-on.

This, internet, was amazing.

I didn't cry. I did not get depressed. I didn't even feel like hiding under a blanket of cookies and cheese when I saw my thighs in all their globby glory. I found a black one-piece that hides my second stomach and covers my back fat. AND...IT DOES NOT LOOK AT ALL MATRONLY. When not half covered by water I will wrap a black shawl (circa my 1993 prom, heh) around my lower half beauty issues.

This, internet, may actually work.

Most shocking about the trip was that while I found a suit in about 1/2 an hour, my boy took two hours to find 3 pairs of pants and 1 pair of swim trunks. As he was debating, I went into the fitting room FOUR separate times with SIX totally different items each time. Amazing.

I love the Tarjay. I also bought a dress I'd eyed about two months ago on sale for $10 and in a size smaller than I usually wear (yay!), and one of those new-fangled '80s-like bubble skirts. Now, let me say that I have always hated a bubble skirt. If you were blessed (cursed) with full hips/butt/thighs you DO NOT need anything adding volume to that area. But, this skirt isn't puffy at all. It has a very gentle circle skirt type of flouncery that I found absolutely adorable on me. It's a weird putty color, but it was only $11 so who gives a shit. I'll call it neutral and wear it with everything anyway.

Catch A Feller By His Toe

The boy and I settled into secure oneness long ago. Way back in December we made a pact and have stuck to it, going so far as to see each other mostly everyday and sleep together mostly every night. We're a we. A couple. A monogamous romantic unit. And a lot alike, but different enough to make it all interesting/confusing/worthwhile.

We first had sex in January. Does that seem like a long time to wait after 6 weeks of dating? Well, there were extenuating circumstances. I needed to fit myself with birth control, buy my first ever box of condoms and a nifty third barrier to babydom. He...ah, I remember it well. On our first date, back at my place, fooling around, he gave me the first sign that he was truly a good guy. Revealing very carefully the details of an accidental condom slip, my boy said (as I laid on top of him in my bed) that he needed one more test to be totally cleared of HIV. Just hearing those three letters made my heart stop, drop and roll into my stomach. I didn't show it, though. He was tall and cute and funny and smart and touching me and being honest with me. He had a safety ring imprinted on the back of his wallet, but wanted to know if I took the pill. I said no, so that was it. We knew we weren't having sex that night. No pressure of any kind. That was my second sign.

Last Wednesday, he found out he's completely clean. He'd like us to take more chances now. No condoms, just roll over in the middle of the night and fuck like mad then go back to sleep. I'm nervous. I don't want babies. He claims he doesn't either, but I can tell he really does. I've told him this and suppose I'll have to tell him again.

He wants my mouth to take him in. I don't know. I'm not as averse to the idea as I used to be. I love all of him. Penis, manhood, cock, johnson, hooha, meat, whatchamacallit included. Do I want him inside me there? This is so performance oriented that it's more intimidating than sex. Which I already have adequacy issues with. Do I do enough? Honey, he answers, you're wonderful. You do just what you need to. Which is what, really? Lay there? I'm glad it appears to be enough for him, but I don't want anybody getting bored.

Let's not forget reciprocation. I have a major issue that I, we, try not to dwell on in bed or elsewhere. I cannot come. The one time I was absolutely close to heaven I was alone and aided with a battery powered device, a month or so before we'd even met. I think I need more; more kissing, touching, hugging, talking, rubbing, sucking, whatever. I need more time. I need his hands to wander south...no, farther south. He doesn't like his hands in there, he told me so. However, he's willing to let his lips venture forth. Yes, I'd feel bad if he gave to me and all I did was take from him.

Adventure. That's what we need. I'll read the book I bought, we'll try something new. Maybe, if we have any more sexual luck, some hotel seduction in Vegas in one week will help.