Monday, June 06, 2011
I'm writing this as an open prayer. To get it all out and force myself to stop.
We cannot worry anymore. HUBS and I cannot sleep at night. We're snappy and bitchy and twitchy and irritable. Even when we're happy we're sad. It all feels like too much; like a dreary dead end that we can't turn around from.
And we're trying. Trying to stop the worry, the ruminating, the wallowing, the stressing, the fear. We are: breathing deeply, counting to 10, praying, pleading, meditating, yoga-ing, stretching and discussing. It helps for a bit, and then feels meaningless.
So, I'm now (actively and publicly) giving it all to you. Surrendering every fear, stress, worry, anxiety and its ilk.
Luanne's health issues
Our money problems
Our fear of our own futures
Our lack of hope
Our lack of complete faith
Our reckless desires...
And all the other negative, scary stuff.
I ask that you take these things and help us figure out a way through, up, over, around or under them. And if we can't figure out a way, please help us somehow be ok anyway.