Saturday, July 14, 2007

Life Sucks, Then You Pay Taxes, Shit and Die...Or Something Like That (Part 1)

Yeah, home ownership is a fine thing. Unless you're like me and the FI-ance. We bought this house at the end of December, moved in January and are just now finally getting things to look the way we want them to. We did the actual moving ourselves and it wore us out. It was the only instance where I'd seen my own stuff so much that I simply didn't want to deal with it for months on end. I mean, it took at least two months to get rid of all the boxes!

And now, now that we finally feel settled, we've had to face the cold, hard facts about something: WE ACCIDENTALLY MOVED INTO THE GHETTO.

Don't misunderstand, internet. It's not like the neighborhood is a war zone. We're not constantly hearing gunshots or police sirens; we don't feel unsafe. And the place looks good, most of the houses are brand new or recently updated. But...but there are some things, mostly small things, that are building up and making us think that...deep breath now...we may need to move next year.

Examples? Well, the first sign we totally ignored. And that was that many of the brand new houses in our area are simply not selling. Including the gorgeous behemoth right next door to us. You know how they say to follow your gut? Your "first mind", your instinct? I didn't. I don't know if FI-ance was at all worried about the unsold-but-on-the-market-for-months brand new home next to what would become our first place, but I did. It was in the back of my mind. Underneath "Oh my God! We found a house!" and behind "It's so cute! It's a perfect starter place!" and somewhere to the left of "I get to decorate! I get to decorate!" If I had just paid attention to that nagging little feeling.

Then, we moved. And we had no appliances for a day or two, but (would you believe?) we still got hungry. Pizza was the natural choice. Except, no one would deliver. We called four different places, some of them a mere five minutes away, and they all said no. One even specifically said, "we don't deliver there after dark." What? I mean...huh? Seriously? Fuck all. What the hell is going on?

Tune in tomorrow for "As the Ghetto Turns"...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


If someone is going to sweat their way through a slightly depressing July 4 fireworks party at an assisted living facility only to get hit in the head by overzealous bottle rocket debris, we all know that it's totally going to happen to me, right?

This was the best holiday EVER!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


Friends of the internet, I cannot convey to you how difficult it is to get back to work after a five day vacation. July 4 landing in the middle of the week was an absolute blessing, but now I'm experiencing severe lethargy whenever "work" is mentioned or merely thought of.

And yet, I'm here. Although in spirit I'm totally still in bed, just like I was on July 4,5,6,7 and 8. What's to be expected until my next vacation? The phone will ring but I won't pick it up. I will not respond to messages or emails in a timely fashion. I will not get to work on time even though I'll try real hard to and the filing won't get done. However, what I will do is write blogs on work time, save as much actual work as possible for as late in the day as possible, read magazines, take long lunches and surf fashion/gossip sites as often as I can get away with.

Basically, I will do as little as humanly possible. Will my efforts be successful? No. Likely not.


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