Friday, March 02, 2012

Happy Friday: Spring To Winter In One Day


Even though we've had a super-mild winter here in Missouri, days like today help remind us that mid-western weather is completely unpredictable. Just when I was feeling crazy for indulging in my yearly boot craving, the temperature dropped 20 degrees, the sun hid behind ominous clouds and the winds began howling.

Lordy, I love looking at boots. Much more than plain shoes. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that, as a large-legged lass, I can't wear any old boots. In fact, boots that go past my ankle rarely zip all the way up. This means no cheap boots from Payless or Target for me. I've got 18 inch calves over here!

The last boots I got, for my birthday in 2010, were from Torrid. Those aren't even real leather and they cost 70 bucks! If that doesn't sound like a lot to you, let's remember that since going full-on freelance I think everything that costs more than $10 is too expensive, so, my perspective? She is skewed.

Don't boots just make you feel cozy and loved and safe and happy? Like you're in your own little cocoon of warmth and style and joy? Yes? I knew we had a lot in common. Enjoy the weekend, friends!

* Photos from Nordstrom, Delia's and Lands End catalogs.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Dammit Davy!

I grew up watching The Monkees. That might sound odd for a 37 year old to say, but by the time I was a tween, the '60s were back and Nickelodeon was playing The Monkees in hour-long blocks twice a day.

What's most disturbing about this for me is that Davy Jones was only 66. My mom is 61. It is not time for people my mom's age who were previously healthy to start suddenly dropping dead. That scares the shit out of me. Just...Dammit!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Ammo Slammo, It's Gotta Go Blammo!


Well, now that I've taken a post Oscar break to shore up my health by lazing about and sleeping all day, it's time to get back into the spring-like swing of things.

I'm not going to talk about the Academy Awards. Isn't that really for the best? I mean, aren't we all tired of leg bombs and Jennifer's boobs anyway? Sure, areolas are nice, but if you've seen one caramel nip, you've seen them all, I say.

Pop culture is such a fascinating animal, mostly because people are odd and original creatures and what we become fixated on will likely be odd as well. HUBS and I, of course, are no different.

Post The Voice/Smash television on Monday night was dead, so we stuck it on Cool TV and watched music videos. An old favorite from The Scorpions came on:

That's right, I said an old favorite. What? Can't a black girl enjoy '80s heavy metal like everyone else? Anyway, this prompted HUBS to look the band up online, where he found lyrics to a song neither of us had heard of before called You´re So Dirty (But Also So Beautiful). The words? Perfect early '80s slightly nasty nonsensical rock. Enjoy the madness!

The breath cold as ice
Even though the earth burns
Where you are also there I will be
I live now, I live here in this world
I breath through complete lust

Damn you slam you, eat me like a menu
Take it brake it, kick it to the ground
Empty hollow, it's so hard to swallow
Gotta know what's your size

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun
You tell me yet again about the fact that
No one has ever seen you
Still I stay just yours, go
Through flesh and blood
For you, you live in me

Ammo slammo, it's gotta go blammo

Lust you bust you, Can I ever trust you
Scare you dare you, anyway I want you
Catch you grab you now

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun

Hard ass lard ass, keep your hands off my stash
Holy stoli gotta have a stogie
Master blaster, buy a jabocaster
Gotta eat your heart out now

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
Oh, you're my fantasy
You are so nasty, how far will you go
To keep me true, trust me not
You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun

Phew! Now, if you're like me you were left with one question: What the hell is a jabocaster? Well, I found out for you. See how dedicated I am?


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