It's All Sunny Out

From when he bought me a rose, earlier this month.

Our heat keeps coming on so it must be ridonkulously cold outside, but it is sunny. And when it's cold I actually don't mind the sun.

HUBS and I managed to go to dinner at one of our favorite places on my birthday, A'mis. We had a temporarily free $100 placed in our pitiful account by the overdraft protection gods, and used about $38 bucks to get us my Bday dinner.

The whole day was good, actually. My friend TC (who still works at the company I left in January) took me out to lunch at a great Thai place downtown that we love, Sen. November 19 is both of our birthdays, so from the time we realized that way back in...crap...'99(?), we've celebrated together.

After lunch I walked around downtown and then Webster to take pictures. It was so peaceful. I always feel independent and tough when I do photo walks, don't ask me why. And? I got some great stuff. I had two cameras with me, the digital I carry every day and my Diana+. The Diana uses 120 film, I'll take it to be developed today, and by the time it comes in HUBS will be paid again and I can afford to pick it up. Yay!

I think I did some reading in between photo walking and HUBS getting home. The best part about unemployment is unlimited reading time. I'm considering putting a sidebar on my site that shows how much stuff I've read in the past few months. Internet! You'd be muy impressed!

After dinner we walked around Borders for about an hour, looking at things we wanted but could not get. Then we headed to Quick Trip for snacks. I've been having a serious blueberry muffin moment for the past month, and QT simply has the best ones. You know how the top of the muffin should get a bit crispy and have that overhang that in women with too-tight pants is known as a "muffin top"? Well, only a QT muffin has muffin-top down to perfection.

My other QT weakness? Their cappuccino. Oh. MY. GOD! So fucking good, people. When it gets cold I want one everyday. Problem is they are packed with calories, sugar...I had three last week and am trying to cut back. I actually got regular coffee with cinnamon hazelnut cream and just added a bit of their caramel macchiato. Not bad, but not the same. I can feel a weekend indulgence coming on.

We got back home, and had our snackage while watching a couple of episodes from Buffy season 5. I don't remember Riley being in so many eps this season.

Later, there was snuggling. And then we fell asleep.

Good day. A really good Birthday.

Happy Friday everybody!!

Today I'm 34

How do you celebrate when you have no money? Hopefully, we'll figure that out before midnight...

Here I Go

About three weeks ago I got up early one Monday morning, put on my interview suit and headed out to Earth City, MO to reapply at a temp agency. I say reapply because it's the same agency I worked for after I graduated from college in '97, once it became obvious I wasn't going to get whisked away to Manhattan by a tony fashion mag that wanted me to be their photo editor.

On one hand this turned out good. I took all these tests: grammar, Microsoft Word, typing, Excel, sentence structure, even Power Point (which I'd never even looked at before, much less used). Except for Excel I tested as "expert" in everything. So, at least I know I'm not stupid, even though not being able to find an acceptable job makes me feel like I am. I know I definitely have concrete skills to offer.

But...This also means I'll be temping again. Basically, starting all over at the beginning again. And? Likely doing stuff I hate. Filing, data entry, answering the phones...Nothing creative, interesting. Just more of the same shitty soul-crushing work I left behind in January.

The agency needed my social security card and I didn't bother really trying to find it until Sunday. I took it in yesterday and filled out all their tax papers/agreements/yada yada.

Since I only have about a month left on unemployment it's a bit of hope for some kind of work. And yet...Working at something I hate AGAIN is destroying me.

A LOT.

Halloween 2008: The Day My Lady Bits Almost Fell Off

Halloween, apparently not just for candy corn.

I apologize for not writing more frequently these past couple of weeks, but as you can probably gather from the title...I've been having issues. If you're not prepared for frank yet gentle talk (Can this be done? We shall see!) about my girly bits you, my friend, should just keep on movin'.

Ok, so, HUBS was home from work for Halloween because he's decided that every month needs at least one three day weekend. Thank bejesus, too, cause I really needed a second opinion after taking a shower that afternoon.

See, the prior month I'd had some minor trouble with the area where panties go, that is, provided you wear briefs. Right around the time of my store closing, the area was raw, red and kinda...Oh, crap, how do I say this...Perpetually, unwantedly, moist.

I got a mirror out back then, and it didn't look so bad. By the time I considered making a doctor's appointment, my period was gone for the month and so was my irritated area.

Cut to October 31 again. I'd noticed the moistosity during my period again and after my shower decided to take another look. And, well, Holy Frijoles, Batman! It was considerably worse than in the previous month. The area had spread, for one thing. Now, I was scared. God Almighty, I thought, is it really not enough that my hair's falling out, I can't find a job and I'm having trouble losing weight. Do I really need another problem, now?

I got HUBS to look at it. And he was all, "Yeah, we need to do something about that, like, now." I tried calling my doctor, but the office was closed. That's right, closed at 4 pm on a Friday. Bitches.

We went down the street to an urgent care facility. As I filled out forms and waited for nurses and doctors all I could think was, I'm 33 and my pussy is going to fall off. I really was planning to keep using it for a few more years. Fuck the hell ALL!

Time felt like it slowed to a halt. The whole ordeal, shower/realization/urgent care diagnosis/medication buying, only took about two hours but if felt like all freakin' day!

Making this short story even shorter? My hallelujah is right where God left it. The doc thinks it's just irritation from my underwear coupled with increased moisture during my period and a yeast infection of the skin (EEEWWWWWWW!!!) that led to a little rawness. She prescribed some generic meds and my lady place was better almost immediately. Thank. Fucking. God.

This seems to boil down to one thing: me being fat. The area has been gently bothering me since I really started packing it on two years ago. Yet another reason to stop eating so many fries.