Friday, November 18, 2011

Happy Friday: Birthday Time!


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Well, looky there. My birthday is this weekend. Honestly, it's freaking me out a bit. Not to become a middle-aged stereotype, but the fact that I'm now close enough to 40 to give it a good smack on the ass, it is making me nervous.

In other news, did you know that none of you fabulous people took me up on the contest offer from last week? I know you can use some free art, right? Here are some things you can do with my photo if you win: give it as a gift, put it on your wall, use it to decoupage, have it turned into an awesome coffee mug/mouse pad/tee shirt, masturbate to it...wait, what? Who typed that? Wasn't me! I swear!

Anyway, be sure to enter by next Friday at 5 p.m. CST. Now, let's do some looking around the internet!

1) I love Louis C.K.

2) All you avid e-book readers should try Litfy for access to a lot of freebies.

3) I admit it: I am not a car girl. I just want something reasonably priced and reliable. But, if you are a car chick, look into VroomGirls.

4) Lit heads, design fans and foodies alike can get into this.

5) If you already like GiltGroup you'll likely enjoy their new fine dining site.

That's all for today. Get thee to something fun this weekend!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Interesting Theories



In the interest of EXPANSION I've been reading a lot of books on freelancing, writing, creating an ideal life and personal branding over the last few months. Last night I was pouring over Be Your Own Brand, and some of the ideas really struck me.

I've wondered quite a bit on here (and during my general alone time) about why I procrastinate and sabotage myself. I've come to the basic conclusion that I'm afraid of a lot of stuff, but this book made me think something else is also behind it.

The authors write about the importance of authenticity when building a brand. People, they say, will trust you faster and longer when they feel you're being real with them. Which, aside from making total sense, I believe I'm good at doing. But, they also mention three important components of authenticity: purpose, vision and values.

I have the strongest handle on my values (the stuff that's important to me), a little bit less of a grasp on my vision (What do I really want out of life? To make movies? Become a pro-blogger? Make money selling my photos?) and almost no idea of what my purpose (Really, why do I specifically exist in the world?) is.

The purpose part is what really bugged and stuck with me, because here's what they say about purposeless folks: people without it have no grounding for their values, no motivation to act and nothing that inspires desire.

NO MOTIVATION TO ACT AND NOTHING THAT INSPIRES DESIRE.

That's not a direct quote, but that's what hit my heart hard. That phrase pretty much describes my whole life. I've got lots of big goals and plans and dreams, but have made very little effort to bring much of anything to fruition.

The Why am I here? question has nagged at me since I was a little kid. It comes to the forefront whenever I have a deeply depressed moment that leaves me feeling like a wasted bag of useless existence. But, really? I've never had a very strong feeling of Oh! This is why I'm here!

Even when I get an inkling of that feeling, my brain stops it with But that's silly. I can't be here to help people with their screenplays. Or, How could I have been put here just to rescue stray cats?

Is this it? Is this really why I lack enough ambition to push through fear and act on what I want with few limitations? Has this been the root of my depression all these years? Is this what's actually causing my newly acquired panic attacks? Is this the root of my general passionless mood, something that's been with me for decades?

I swear. The more I read, the more I see how screwy I am.

What about you? Do you know why you're here?

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