Friday, September 09, 2011

Happy Friday: Web Wanderings & Panic Attacks

Happy Friday, all my peeps! I hope you're ready for a perfect weekend, because, why would your weekend not be perfect, am I right?

I had a bit of a wrench thrown into my perfectly planned day this morning. I had just finished brushing my teeth when someone called from a company I had applied for a job at last Friday. I know, this doesn't sound bad at all, right? Except for the fact that I have a tendency to over-think this job/money stuff.

After we got done with about a half hour of phone interviewing and I called PT to tell her what happened, I called HUBS. And as I spoke to him, I started to panic.

This hasn't happened since early this year, but now that I've looked it up on the trusty ol' Web MD, I can say for sure that I've been having actual panic attacks. Not just panicking or freaking out, but having actually medically defined PANIC. ATTACKS.


I know what you're thinking, why would the first step of a job offer make me panic? Well, the job would be full time and require some Saturdays, meaning it would eat up all the possible times for me to interview my chefs and bartenders, meaning if I got it I'd have to stop writing.

And if I stopped getting paid for writing in order to take a "stable" job with a reliable paycheck that I'd undoubtedly dislike, I would completely negate the decision I made to leave my previous job to do more creative, enjoyable work. You know, just for the money. Which HUBS and I desperately need.

All these attacks start the same: a get a bit nervous, then fearful, and then I begin to pace and talk fast and my heart races as I become angry at getting scared and worrying before anything has even happened; I start to have trouble catching my breath and I sweat and talk even faster and start to cry and...You get the idea.

The only thing that calmed me down today was HUBS saying that he'd rather stay poor than have me take another full time gig I'd hate that would remove most possibility of me being able to get paid to write (in the capacity that I write now, anyway). Well, that and recalling the fact that TUX threw up on the living room wall as I was doing my phone interview. HUBS laughed and it was all good again. Thank God for HUBS, y'all.

Of course, none of that panic does anything. Especially considering that within an hour and a half of the interview I got an email saying other people were more qualified for the job, so phew! On the upside, all that pacing (about an hour's worth) gave me a good start on today's cardio. Score!

Aaaaaanyway...On to brighter things. This fascinating place we call the internet has recently offered up some new and interesting corners to explore and I feel the need to share with my lovelies. Do you ever feel like the web is overwhelming? I do. I sit down with a set idea of what I want to read/do online. But, suddenly I've got 18 tabs open that are filled with things I have to read even though I didn't know they existed just moments before.

Oh well! On to linkage and happy weekends!

*Free, downloadable music mixes!

*If you were a reader of Sassy magazine as a teen or Jane as a young adult, you'll probably did this.

*Meet Madeline, she just moved to a part of the country where she doesn't know anyone.

*Make your ideas happen!

*Handy guides to help us navigate the good stuff online and apply tech tips to our lives.

*This movie was amazing and I'll be getting the soundtrack as soon as someone sells it on

*All the cool business, tech, social media and design news/tips you could want in one place.

*25 FREE calling cards until 9/23!

That's all from me for now, but tell me: Does the internet ever overwhelm you?


SoMuchSugar said...

Helloooo! I am sorry the day was so stressful; I have anxiety attacks but that sounds like you had a pretty bad panic. I hate that, it always helps to talk it out with the hubby!

I get overwhelmed by the internet too... it's always updating, changing, I always have to keep on top of it for work, it is super stressful and competitive. UGH!!!


Miss Tracey Nolan said...

I haven't written about it yet. Well..published it yet, but I got panic attackey last year after I had the kid. Hormones + good old fashioned crazy = AWFULNESS. Hope you're feeling better. xo

citygirl said...

Thanks, guys. Yes, I'm better now. I'm glad I don't have these things more than once every few months, it really wrecked my day!

Tracey: I get why you haven't posted about it yet. It's an odd sensation to describe, especially when trying to explain it in conjunction with such a happy moment. I'll be reading if you decide to share, though :)

Sugar: I can't imagine having to keep up with the internet, in general, for work. I can feel the stress already!


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