A Letter To A Good Cat

Dear Mollie,

I'm so sorry girl. You shouldn't have ended like this. As a stray cat, you took your life into your...sweet little multicolored paws, every day. I know that. But, you were never supposed to get hit by a car. You were too smart and cool and original for that. You were going to be the first stray cat to die of natural causes at the age of 25, I just knew it.

I hope a lot of things now. I hope it was an accident, and that the neighbors who complained about you and the rest of the strays we care for a couple of months ago didn't go gunning for you when you were in the street, and then put you in our yard to show us what they think about the strays and our looking after you. I hope whoever hit you felt bad and simply knew we would take care of things if you were in our yard. Either way, I'm glad you weren't left in the street.

I hope you didn't suffer. I hope it was quick, instantaneous, even. If you laid in our yard dying last night while we were watching TV, unknowing, that would kill a much larger part of me than the one that was killed when I found you this morning.

I hope we helped you. We certainly tried to. Remember March 2011, when Catpocalypse came and Animal Control gathered up the old guard of strays? Remember how you, in all your cat wisdom, defied the AC officer and showed her who was boss by sitting ON TOP OF THE TRAP FILLED WITH FOOD, and then sauntering off, un-captured? See, you were really too smart for this shit.

I hope you weren't too scared when we took you into the house, along with two other cats, last month to have you fixed and given your shots by Operation Sterile Feral. I know you weren't happy about it, that was obvious. But I hope you forgave us for trapping you in our basement, taking you to strangers for medical procedures you didn't realize you needed and then putting you back outside. You seemed to forgive us. In the month since we let you out, you rarely left our yard during the day.

I wish you hadn't left our yard at night, either. That way you'd still be with us. Oh, well. Kitties gotta hunt, I guess...

I hope you know you were the original cat. I mean, not really. But you felt like the original cat to us. I don't remember when I first saw you after we moved in eight years ago. 2008? 2009? 2010? I've got no idea, but I know that as the number of stray cats in the neighborhood grew and the number who came to our yard for a morning snack grew, you became a reliable fixture.

Hell, if it weren't for you, (and the resistance of St. Louis County to allow TNR) we wouldn't have most of the awesome new guard strays: Rudy (who's actually been living with us for four years), Sampson, Trey, Tim (who's had a home for over a year now), Keema, Kem, Orange Boy and Creamy. I promise we'll continue to do everything in our power to take care of them.

Mollie, I hope you enjoyed relaxing on our deck. I hope you enjoyed sunning yourself in our yard. I hope you liked all the food we gave you and it never made you feel icky. I hope, however old you were, that you had some fun. I hope you liked it when I patted your back and told you to be careful, have a good day and wished you happy hunting.

I buried you this morning, about an hour after finding you, in the back yard near our cat Luanne, who died just a few months after you refused to be taken away by Animal Control. You're between two flower beds and two two trees. I think you'll like it there. When the muddy ground settles a bit, I might try to plant some cat grass or cat nip on your and Luanne's graves. I think that would be fitting.

Luanne's been gone a long time. Mollie, seek her out wherever you are now. She's a good cat, too. I'm sure she'd love to show you around.

Love and Thanks Always,
Adrienne

Happy Friday: Web Wanderings & Panic Attacks

Happy Friday, all my peeps! I hope you're ready for a perfect weekend, because, why would your weekend not be perfect, am I right?

I had a bit of a wrench thrown into my perfectly planned day this morning. I had just finished brushing my teeth when someone called from a company I had applied for a job at last Friday. I know, this doesn't sound bad at all, right? Except for the fact that I have a tendency to over-think this job/money stuff.

After we got done with about a half hour of phone interviewing and I called PT to tell her what happened, I called HUBS. And as I spoke to him, I started to panic.

This hasn't happened since early this year, but now that I've looked it up on the trusty ol' Web MD, I can say for sure that I've been having actual panic attacks. Not just panicking or freaking out, but having actually medically defined PANIC. ATTACKS.


Photo

I know what you're thinking, why would the first step of a job offer make me panic? Well, the job would be full time and require some Saturdays, meaning it would eat up all the possible times for me to interview my chefs and bartenders, meaning if I got it I'd have to stop writing.

And if I stopped getting paid for writing in order to take a "stable" job with a reliable paycheck that I'd undoubtedly dislike, I would completely negate the decision I made to leave my previous job to do more creative, enjoyable work. You know, just for the money. Which HUBS and I desperately need.

All these attacks start the same: a get a bit nervous, then fearful, and then I begin to pace and talk fast and my heart races as I become angry at getting scared and worrying before anything has even happened; I start to have trouble catching my breath and I sweat and talk even faster and start to cry and...You get the idea.

The only thing that calmed me down today was HUBS saying that he'd rather stay poor than have me take another full time gig I'd hate that would remove most possibility of me being able to get paid to write (in the capacity that I write now, anyway). Well, that and recalling the fact that TUX threw up on the living room wall as I was doing my phone interview. HUBS laughed and it was all good again. Thank God for HUBS, y'all.

Of course, none of that panic does anything. Especially considering that within an hour and a half of the interview I got an email saying other people were more qualified for the job, so phew! On the upside, all that pacing (about an hour's worth) gave me a good start on today's cardio. Score!

Aaaaaanyway...On to brighter things. This fascinating place we call the internet has recently offered up some new and interesting corners to explore and I feel the need to share with my lovelies. Do you ever feel like the web is overwhelming? I do. I sit down with a set idea of what I want to read/do online. But, suddenly I've got 18 tabs open that are filled with things I have to read even though I didn't know they existed just moments before.



Oh well! On to linkage and happy weekends!

*Free, downloadable music mixes!

*If you were a reader of Sassy magazine as a teen or Jane as a young adult, you'll probably did this.

*Meet Madeline, she just moved to a part of the country where she doesn't know anyone.

*Make your ideas happen!

*Handy guides to help us navigate the good stuff online and apply tech tips to our lives.

*This movie was amazing and I'll be getting the soundtrack as soon as someone sells it on half.com.

*All the cool business, tech, social media and design news/tips you could want in one place.

*25 FREE calling cards until 9/23!

That's all from me for now, but tell me: Does the internet ever overwhelm you?

It's Possible We Have A New Cat

This is Rudy Huckleberry. So named because when we first saw him the week after we returned from vacation, his nose was bloody and red (as in our favorite reindeer). I know what you're thinking, What kind of surname is Huckleberry? Well, here's your answer for that.

After seeing him hanging out with the only remaining stray from the original group for about a week, we started seeing him only by himself. As you can imagine, I was worried. Clearly he's too damn small to be roaming the streets alone. Then about three weeks ago, as HUBS left for work, we spotted him on our front porch.

He was wet and covered in ants and pretty obviously hadn't eaten in days. After HUBS left I came back inside, outfitted myself with rubber gloves and a bath towel that's basically a rag and went and caught him. This wasn't hard since he was weak from malnourishment; I let him smell my hand for about five minutes and then scooped him up.



He's been living in our bathroom ever since. We have to keep him sequestered until he has all his shots/parasites taken care of so he doesn't give anything to our other felines, and so far things are going pretty good...With three exceptions.

Last night he and Shakes got into a paw war underneath the bathroom door (there's just enough room down there for some determined kitty paws). Unfortunately, Shakes got hold of one of Rudy's back paws and ripped the shit out of it with his claws. The poor guy bled kinda bad but he's walking and running alright, luckily. He's also having some stomach troubles today and hasn't eaten much. But I'm hoping we can take care of that at a vet visit tonight.

You know, though, how I know I really, really like cats now? Two weeks ago, right after I started him on some anti-parasite meds, I went to check on him and noticed he seemed uncomfortable. That led me to notice some hangers-on in Rudy's personal cat area, which I got paper towels to take care of.



Turns out the dingle berries weren't what was bothering him. [WARNING: CAT CONVERSATION ABOUT TO GET GRAPHIC REAL FAST!!] Rudy had parasites sticking out of his kitty butt. Yes. I know. And, no lie, you guys: I pulled them out*.

That, my friends, is kitty love and devotion. No shit.


*If you need to forget that image, check here. Awesomeness is assured.*

August 2009 - July 5 2011

Well, yesterday at around 11:30 am, Luanne passed away. It's not quite that simple, but I can't get into all the details right now.



I'm really sad. I feel like I'm sadder than when my grandmother, uncle or cousin died. I know time is severely compressed for cats, but they had all been sick for so long that the possibility of death seemed more imminent. Plus, I wasn't directly caring for any of them on a daily basis. Even though they were people and family, I think that proximity to illness is a factor in how much this hurts.



As you can see from the dates in the title, Luanne wasn't even two years old yet. What sucks is that just a couple of weekends ago (on June 24 and 25) she seemed to really be starting to adjust to her anemia. She started jumping around onto things and into windows that she'd ignored for weeks. She jumped up in my lap and curled up there for a bit. She even spent most of Saturday night that weekend in bed with HUBS and I. The power had gone out and I think she was nervous. After chasing a little flying creature around on our dresser in the light of a flashlight, she jumped right over to the bed and curled up between us.



It was pretty sudden, on Monday she was fine. On Tuesday morning she took a turn and died on us.


Luanne's most recent nickname was Poodle Paws

I'm always going to wonder if I had done just one, or two or maybe three things differently if she would still be with us. Long enough for her birthday at least. I am glad for the time we had with her, though.



And yet, I'm still really sad.

Make Money Spending Money

It's early. 5:33 a.m. to be exact, and I've been up for about an hour. Luanne had another, totally unexpected (and expensive) issue pop up yesterday and Shakes (the other stray we took in at the same time) is acting funny and will likely need a vet visit sometime this week. Also, HUBS worked on my beloved Jezebel, but it was no use. I will need a new laptop. Long story short, I was having trouble sleeping as worries crept into my head.

One thing I meant to do yesterday but didn't have time for was to check out Ebates, so I did that first thing this morning. Uh, did you guys know that you can get some cra-za-zee cash back shopping through that site? Magazines.com, for instance, has 26% cash back! That's ridiculous! If you subscribe to a lot of magazines that'll really add up.

As usual, I'm late to the party. But now that I know, here I come free money!

This Is, As My Grandmother Would Say About Much Worse Things, Some Better

Little Luanne, aka Cartoon Cat

I do apologize for my absence, but we've had two sick cats. Julia (who, our vet informed us, by the way, is actually male) has been battling an upper respiratory infection since we got...him three weeks ago. Last week Luanne started sneezing and by Sunday I noticed that I hadn't seen her eat anything.

Two early (I mean fucking. early) vet appointments, several botched feedings, multiple medications and one syringe-laden, two-person forced feeding later, she's eating again.

We're really hoping the antibiotics and appetite enhancing meds will kick in soon so we don't have to force feed her for long. 'Cause that shit? Is super DUPER HARD.

In other news, my uncle's father died this week. He and my mom had different dads, and I'd never met his. Now, in a three year period he's lost a brother, his mother, his son and his father (the last two within four months of each other). Fuck all, ya'll.

I really need a good, not worried about sick cats night of long, deep sleep.

God speed and good night.

Well, At Least That's Some Good News...

The video is in Thai, just so you know.

Japan has an island filled with cats and old people that has been largely untouched by the ridiculously unfair amount of recent turbulence. At least that's something.

I Am Nothing If Not A Sobbing Heap

I'm really glad I didn't post yesterday. I was feeling pretty good after the cat stuff on Tuesday. The Trapper was back, but no one took the bait. In fact this is as serious as it got:



That's Mollie sitting on top of a trap. There was lots of nuzzling and sniffing and sitting on, but no getting caught in traps. Apparently that was just because the universe knew I couldn't handle seeing it two days in a row. Know what the first thing I saw was when I woke up this morning and looked out my bedroom window? A cat getting caught in a trap.

I couldn't deal anymore. I called Animal Control to see if they can legally use our property for this. The chick behind the desk called Trapper who called the cops. Yes, the cops. Who then knocked on my door, with Trapper in tow, and explained how diseased and horrible the strays are and how coyotes feed off of them and how he's an animal lover too and he knows I just feel for them.

But, if I'm feeding them, I'm in violation of laws and they consider them my cats and I have to stop feeding them. And, Trapper will be outside my home every day for the next seven days doing her thing. If, on the seventh day cats are still coming around we'll get citations for each law we're breaking for each cat she sees.

So, there you have it. No more feeding the cats. I'm upset, angry, despondent, pissed I ever agreed to like cats at all. Three pieces of good news? HUBS and I will save about $20 a month not feeding the strays; they'll likely stop showing up within three days, so we are unlikely to get any tickets; and, we did pick up Julia last night. She's currently sequestered in our basement until we can get her shots/bathed/de-wormed/tested for various illnesses.

Here's my question: how would Trapper feel if she'd been locked in a cage for six days and then been expected to act perfectly nice and pleasant? Considering that she's already severely sawed off, she'd probably behave like a raging bitch-on-fire who'd have to be immediately put down. How exactly are the cats supposed to fare any better, on average?

I know there's no perfect solution, other than everybody keeping their animals spade/neutered and inside their houses, but this still sucks Trapper ass.

Though, I do feel good about Julia.

Heart. Is. Breaking.

So, you remember me telling you about all the stay cats in my neighborhood? Well, today County Animal Control stopped by and started rounding them up. I'm heartbroken. I talked with the lady who was setting the traps in my yard this morning and she said they hold them for a week to see if anyone claims them. Then? Then, if the cats don't look like they're good with people, they euthanize them.

After being tricked with food and trapped in a cage the cats only get one week to suddenly be good with people or they're dead. I hate this.

I had to stand there and watch as one of our favorites, Julia, got trapped in the cage. She was so scared. I'm just praying she calms down enough so that they can adopt her out. Unless we get money back from our taxes we won't be able to take her in. As it is we're already pretty full with three cats, but we are considering going to get Julia.


This is Julia in 2009, she was still a kitten. It's hard to believe we may never see her again.

Even worse, a pregnant cat (like Miller and Harris, the gray cats in the top photo) who doesn't get claimed in a week may be euthanized even if they are good with people. 'Cause who's adopting a pregnant cat? So even though Miller is super-adoptable (we pet her all the time and she loves it), she may be killed just because she's knocked up (if they catch her, I hope they don't).

My question is, where was County Animal Control four years ago when we moved in? The trapper I talked to today said that they noticed a problem so they're trying to take care of it, but there have been strays since we moved in. Why the fuck couldn't they have stepped up their efforts before HUBS and I and the guy across the street got attached to the stays?

I know we're not the ones who'll actually be physically hurt if they strays don't get adopted, but this feels like a giant Fuck you and everything you care about! from the universe. Especially after all the loss my family has suffered. It's like one more Ha HA, try to deal with THIS! from life. (And yes, I know life gives us those on a regular basis to keep us on our toes and grateful for the good things and yada yada...Doesn't make this any easier. Pitiful as it may be I feel like these cats are my friends.)

I HATE HATE HATE THIS TUESDAY. And I really hope you're having a better day than me. Really better.

This Year I Will: 2011 Edition

Shakes relaxes with his body threaded through our TV antenna. Cats have such simple goals, don't they?

Yesterday you saw what I got done in 2010, now let's take a look at what I want to do in 2011. I tried to narrow the list down to things I could actually fully accomplish this year.

For instance, at first I put down 'publish a book', but that's not something that's really totally dependent on me (if I were trying to get it published through traditional means, anyway). So, I amended it to 'writing book proposals and sending them out', which is a goal I can complete this year, even if said books don't get published until 2013.

Well, then, off we go...

This Year I Will: 2011

1) Write another screenplay and enter it into at least one contest
2) Promote my blogs
3) Sell photos through at least one online agency
4) Write proposals for my book ideas and send them out
5) Create a workable budget
6) Travel more
7) Network
8) Grow my freelance career
9) Add 1,000 steps to my daily walking, to equal 6,000/day
10) Use pen tablet weekly
11) Try more new things
12) Watch less TV and do less meaningless internet roaming
13) Call PT more
14) Make the money to buy a car within two years
15) Promote past freelance work online
16) Figure out a way to organize our home library area and get more storage in this house
17) Keep track of family birthdays better and connect with family more
18) Work on becoming more sexual

There! I think that's it for me.

What do you plan to do in 2011?

Merry Merry, And All That

Luanne, Tux, Shakes, HUBS and citygirl wish you all a wild, wonderful, white Merry Christmas!

Stud Pants and Princess Panties: Two Phrases You Need To Know

Cats in maxi pads...I am embarrassed for all involved...Especially the cats.

Music Monday: Kitten Rescue!

HUBS and I did something that felt really good on Saturday; we rescued a one month old kitten.

We were about to eat dinner when HUBS looked out the window and saw a tiny kitten following some of the other strays around. We'd never seen this one before, but earlier in the day a neighbor knocked on our door because his mom had sent him to ask us what to do about a bunch of kittens wandering around in their driveway.

Why'd she send him to us? 'Cause the whole street knows we're the cat people. Observe our front yard on a daily basis:



Anyway, it was pretty obvious that this kitten got away from that other bunch because he was so small and aimlessly following the others, meowing and praying someone was his mom. The other cats were not being nice to the little guy, so we went out to see if he'd let us catch him.

It took about ten minutes but I was finally able to sneak up on him and scoop our new pal up. HUBS ran inside, covered our dinners, got my purse and his keys and we set out for the Humane Society. We got there in about 20 minutes and in that very short time came up with a name for him: Murray Von Katenstein. I think it suits him well, what do you think?



So, for this Music Monday, I'm sharing some songs to rescue kittens to. Enjoy!

Weekend Wonderful

It's unbelievably nice to have some money on the weekends. Here's what we did with a bit of ours.

1) Took my mom out to lunch and shopping for her birthday (she's 60) on Saturday. Our haul totaled 1 lip balm, 1 fingernail polish and 1 body butter. We were gone for six hours. Clearly we are shopping superstars. I'm thinking of a rematch sometime this week. Let me tell you, though, it was so nice to be able to treat my mom to lunch. I haven't been able to do that in years.

2) Went grocery shopping at three different stores. Spent more in one grocery trip then we ever have and finally stocked up on some things. Had a deliriously good time at Sunday night's Festival of Trying Different Things. Also? You need to buy this now. And eat it. It's the best freakin' icy treat in the world as far as I'm concerned.

3) Ate out without worrying that we really should have been eating beans and rice again. On Friday HUBS and I managed a $20 dinner at Olive Garden, and Sunday afternoon was all about happy hour specials at La Salsa, where we spent $11 total. By the way? I think our general new rule-of-eating-out-thumb will be to get an appetizer, share one entree and maybe get one drink that we share while the other person gets water. I know eating out is not the best use of funds, but dammit, I find it completely enjoyable!

4) When I was with my mom, HUBS was walking around the strip malls close to our house. He got some stuff we've been wanting/needing for awhile. When I got home he introduced me to our new Foreman Grill, his new Nike Air shoes and Mizzou baseball cap, and the St. Louis Browns cap he got as a Christmas gift for his grandfather. HUBS also told me about a certain sparkly something he got me as a late anniversary/birthday present! He claims it's well hidden, but let's see how long it takes me to happen upon it while cleaning.

On tap for next weekend is finally washing/staining our deck and possibly getting Luanne groomed. She's developed a ton of fur clumps that brushing simply is not taking care of, and trying to cut them out myself was nearly impossible with all her squirming and clawing and questioning of my motives.


You can't really see the extent of her fluff here. She's like a sheep cat.

How was your weekend?

You Have Reasons To Be Excited!

I've been meditating at work. See, I need something to keep me focused on positive stuff during the breaks between calls (which can last anywhere from a few seconds to 10 minutes). I wrote down some affirmations to repeat to myself in the down time. They do seem to be helping me deal with work.

Last night as I was repeating one of my sayings (I have reasons to be excited) I realized that I was actually feeling sadder and sadder. So I made a list of my reasons to be excited.

Here goes:
-we're closer to fall
-we have $115 extra coming to us this month
-we might get into consumer credit counseling or debt relief
-I won't be doing this job for much longer
-I've done this work now and know I never want to do it again
-I've had another book idea & started working on it
-I still have gas in my car
-I might finish a book I got from the library in time to return it in two days
-I have a car
-we have pet food & litter to last a couple weeks
-we have shelter & some food
-I have a free career counseling session scheduled (for today, actually)
-found job & photo selling opportunities online over the weekend (thanks Sugar!)
-we are healthy and not dead
-no one has died for a while (As I wrote this one I was afraid I was jinxing it. Sure enough, HUBS and I found a very small black kitten in the road last night, he'd been hit by a car. Just a few hours after writing how nice it was to not have death hovering over us, there he was laying in the street. I picked him up and said a little blessing, but can't for the life of me think of a name for the little guy. I hope he went quickly.)

The net effect is that I wrote all this cool stuff that I've got going for me (we've got going for us) and yet when one bad thing happened it really did ruin what was left of my night.

I pray that you all have reasons to be excited that make the bad stuff bearable.

Happy Wednesday :)

Taking Care Of Business

Don't let his cool exterior fool you. Tux loves money.

So I got word from my temp agency today that the job will officially last 2 1/2 weeks (starting tomorrow...EEEEK!). We've got some things we definitely need to buy with that money a little at a time. Here's the list, so I don't forget important stuff (Or get my hands on a check and go Oooh, money! Must. Have. Expensive. Cheeses.).

Things To Get

1) 2 forms of birth control. Uh, since we're really strapped right now I have been without my standard, mandatory two birth control thingies: Nuva Ring and Conceptrol.

2) Giant litter box with lid. In the past three months we've gone through about four litter boxes. We're having logistical issues with liner ripping and size which have led to boxes being thrown out in anger because they're literally crapped up and to having to pick up loads of litter and doody off the basement floor. No more. We've got our eyes on a box at PetCo.

3) Water filter. Our faucet filter was supposed to be replaced early last month. We'll need to get that done now.

4) Pet meds/Tux's annual vet visit. We've got three cats to keep Revolutioned up. A six month supply lasts two months split among them. And? It's time for Tux to get all his shots.

5) Food. Oh God, y'all. We had to seriously truncate our grocery shopping last time. I had to forgo buying animal crackers, mayo and chips, and we still spent more money than we should have. I am going to buy some good food. And, yes, I will buy at least one expensive-ass cheese.

6) An item of clothing, possibly a blazer. The interview suit I got two years ago is way too baggy and unstructured on me now. I fully intend to have it tailored when I get something more permanent, but until then, I at least need a blazer that fits better and won't kill me in the heat.

7) Anniversary-worthy dinner out. We're not talking about spending 100 bucks, but at least 50. This will likely involve booze.

That'll probably about do it for sort-of-extraneous spending from my temp job. It feels good to know that I'll be contributing financially again. Fuck, it really feels good.

So Glad...

* for summer fruits and veggies
* HUBS has a 3 day weekend
* I mixed two nail polishes together and got a cool, sparkly, plummy color for my toes
* it finally stopped raining
* I quit my factory job
* I read Steering by Starlight
* for kittens frolicking
* for a break from oppressive heat
* I can go pant-less all day
* we might be able to get away next weekend
* I've gotten good things done the past couple of days
* that I have creative ideas
* about the new blog project I'm working on
* for my readers (Thank you! And have a wonderful holiday weekend!)

Because We Have No Sense Of Proportion

Even more personalities in our tiny, little house. Poor Tux.

I have continually neglected to write about the fact the HUBS and I now have two additional cats. Even though we'd looked into getting another cat last summer (which didn't pan out), these additions were totally by accident. (By the way, this post is long, but if you care about cat stuff it should be a fairly rewarding read for you.)

Last September, HUBS and I came home one Sunday to find two kittens huddled up together in the middle of the street. They didn't move as our car drove up, so HUBS honked at them. They didn't budge. I got out of the car to shoo them along...Still, no moving. I had to literally get right up on them and scream to scare them off. We decided that these kittens were absolutely not ready for the world of a stray cat if they didn't move for a car careening toward them, and set out to catch them and take them to the Humane Society.

They were teeny, so we got Tux's carrier and HUBS suited up in long sleeves, gloves and a hat to prepare for The Inevitable Clawing. When we came back outside one kitten was across the street and one was in our walkway with some other strays. We went for the closest one first.

This was a kitten we'd been keeping our eyes on and had named Shakes because when you got close to him he wouldn't move but would begin to shake uncontrollably. Shakes was so out of it, that HUBS was able to sneak up on him and catch him without much trouble. We got the little guy into the carrier with a minimum of screeching and scratching. Once he was in there and realized he couldn't get out, Shakes totally took a nap.

Now we had to head across the street to our neighbor Fred's driveway where Shakes' apparent brother was hiding. Fuck, that kitten was fast! We chased him all over the driveway and yard and finally gave up when it became obvious he was completely capable of avoiding capture. We named him Speedy for this very reason.

We headed with Shakes to the Humane Society, as planned, to give him up. Then the intake lady explained that if we left him there they wouldn't give us any info on how he was doing or if he got adopted or anything. We'd have to make a total clean break. I was almost ok with that...Until she added that if they couldn't un-sick Shakes they'd have to put him down.

Holy God. Guys, I started to cry. I'd seen so many anonymous cats die in the past few months that the idea of Shakes dying without us getting to know him made me really fucking upset. HUBS asked if I wanted to take him and I said yes without hesitation. When we brought him home he was about 5 weeks old, had parasites, a shit load of fleas and a terrible upper respiratory infection. And, he looked like this:



After months of several-times-a-day medicine, a shit storm of shots and vaccinations and getting him fixed in February so he would stop dry humping the other stray we took in, he looks like this:



Also known as Shaker Cat, Shakers, Sir Shakelton and Dammit Cat Stop It!

The story of our second cat is a bit less traumatic. Luanne Sugarbaker (long lost sister of Julia and Suzanne Sugarbaker - two other strays) spent a full two weeks sleeping day and night either in our yard or on our front porch. About a week into taking care of Shakes, we came home one Friday night to find Luanne on our porch. She let HUBS pet her and then let him pick her up. If you know anything about stray cats they DO NOT DO THIS. They are extremely wary of people, and for good reason.

I begged HUBS to put her down and not get any more attached. We already had two cats. Shakes was sick and needed to be kept away from Tux, meaning we had to lock him away in the bathroom and if we took in another sick pet (she pretty obviously had the same upper respiratory infection Shakes was battling) we'd have to lock her away in a totally separate location. Which would mean the basement. Which would mean Tux's litter box would have to go in the kitchen...Near the stove.

HUBS got his bearings and we walked into the house to put down our things. We turned around to close the door and little Luanne was in the house. Right behind us, in our living room. HUBS gave me a look that said Look! She's in the house! She wants us to love her! Pleeeeeeaaaassseee?! I gave in way quicker than I should have, but that's how we took in Luanne.

Now, her before and after:



Also known as Lou, Lady Big Paws and Oh My God You're So Weird

Some Good

About two weeks after this happened, we discovered a family of kittens living under our deck. See...



There were four orange kittens and a mom hiding there. What's interesting is that when we found Oliver in the street I was afraid he was the one who'd come to eat when I put food out and meow all the time. It was a raspy, growly meow that I liked to hear. Turns out, it was this momma cat. I've named her Harley.



They moved out after about a week and headed for our neighbor Fred's backyard, but we still see them around. And, we've been visited by the new kitten family (we call mom Harris, she has blue eyes) living in the empty yard next door.

All of this is by way of saying, this almost makes up for Oliver. Though, I do worry about those kittens a lot.

I Am Very Inconsistent

I've had that thing happen again where some bad stuff happened and I wanted to write about it, but just couldn't. So, I didn't write at all for a month and a day. Here's what's been going on...

1) July 4th started out fine, HUBS and I went to review a bar/club for my $100 a week job and the food and drinks were good. We were planning to go see fireworks later that night. It was a nice afternoon...Until we pulled up to our house.

A smallish orange cat (who looked a lot like the 5 to 8 other smallish orange cats we have around here)was laying in the street near our neighbor's SUV. I parked as fast as I could, jumping out and running over to him (it was a him, I checked). Someone had hit him and just kept going. I picked him up and tried to make him move, we were planning to get him to the emergency clinic, but he was already gone.


Here lies Oliver...

I then stood in front of our house, holding the smallish, dead orange cat and cried for about 20 minutes. HUBS finally got me to put him down and went to get a shovel so we could bury him. While HUBS dug I thought of a name for the little guy, Oliver. We buried him under our flower bed in the back, and I cried for probably a total of three hours. Someone hit him, and just left him in the street...

Needless to say that ruined our 4th of July. We tried to watch fireworks later, but left the house too late to get any kind of good spot. That pissed me off even more. For about a week after this sadness we tried in earnest to get another cat from the Humane Society but couldn't decide between two of them (luckily one got adopted), and then we ran out of money anyway. Which leads me to #2.

2) By July 14 it was pretty clear that we were totally out of money. I used up the last of my unemployment extension at the end of June and my $100/week gig doesn't exactly help cover much. HUBS moved all our bills (even the mortgage and my student loan - which I've never been late on in the 12 years I've been paying it) to his next pay day. I suspended our savings deductions and transferred what little was in there to pay bills. Then I made a really hard decision: I went to my mom for money. Again.


We suck.

P.T. helped us out in April with a huge loan that kept us afloat for about 6 weeks. Right after she gave us that money (literally a day later) she got laid off herself. She kept telling me that she was ok financially, so I took a chance and called her and asked her for anything she could help with. I immediately regretted it and felt like a stupid child. I'm a married woman who's been on her own for 11 years and twice in just a few months I've had to ask my mother for money.

She gave us another huge loan, enough so that we could pay things a couple days late instead of 10. I went to pick the money up after doing something that may help me get a job. Hence, #3.

3) The unemployment offices have free job workshops that I've completely neglected the entire time I've been jobless. I finally decided to go to the resume and interviewing workshops on the 14th and 15th of this month. What did I find out? My resume, which I thought was pretty good, was a total piece of crap.

Why? Two reasons...a) I had too many types of things on there (reception/admin stuff, film/entertainment stuff and writing/photography stuff), which made me look like I didn't know what I wanted instead of looking multi-talented and well-rounded and b) I hadn't listed any accomplishments in my jobs.



Now, I'd heard of this "accomplishment" thing, but I hated my receptionist/admin work so hard that it was difficult for me to think in terms of doing anything in those positions that could be labeled as such. It took me a week after the workshop to finally redo my resume, and once I started thinking, it wasn't so hard. The lady who ran the seminars actually looked it over (I decided to start with dreaded recep/admin work since it is what I've done the most of) and approved it.

It's been a few days since then, I haven't used it to apply anywhere. What the fuck is wrong with me, you say? I'm scared. Scared that even now that I have the perfect resume I still won't be able to get a job.

I'm not just inconsistent, I'm monumentally fucked up.

4) I've also applied for another UE extension. I should find out this week if I've gotten it. Cross your finger for me people. And if you pray, please do that too.