I can't find any good deals on the two phones I picked out on ebay! All the "buy it now" prices are over $100! Who do these fuckers think they are? Fuckin multi-media conglomerates?!?! Why do these damn things cost so much anyway? All I fuckin want is a new goddamned ass-fuckin cell phone so I don't look like I stepped outta a fuckin time warp when I pull that shit from my bag!! The harder it is to find one at a reasonable price the more I want one NOW!
Please go to the verizon store with me later tonight so I don't murder any innocent bystanders in my quest for a new technological implement with which to make wireless calls. I will try to have my attitude de-bitchified by then so as to not bitch-you-up unfairly.
*walking into de-bitchification chamber*