Monday, June 11, 2007

I'm Having A Nervous Breakdown, And Other Items Of Note

6/10/07: FI-ance flops down on the couch one last time. It's the last time because HE BROKE MY COUCH. I am less than pleased. He knows this and begs me not to stop loving him, then tries to fix it with a mallet and does a pretty good job. I have decided to continue letting him touch me.

I share a bowl of cookie dough ice cream covered in turtle magic shell with the FI-ance at 10pm. Then, I head back to the quart and dig out all the cookie pieces I can find in the top half. My stomach disagrees with these decisions. My toilet's not happy about it either.

6/9/07: The FI-ance takes Lila to get an oil change while I wait at home for the Orkin man. He has them check the brakes too, since we know they're winding down. The mechanics say, "What brakes? This car has no brakes." I put $600 on the "emergency only" credit card.

While in the Wal-Mart parking lot, I make FI-ance get out of the car and dispose of a spider on my windshield. He refused to kill it and instead knocked it off with a huff. That's better than nothing.

6/8/07: We have money again. In celebration we go to a new place for dinner, Pueblo Solis. I eat way too many chips and get full before my enormous chicken fajitas get to me. I eat some anyway, and dammit they are GOOD. FI-ance needs "to calm everybody down" so we head to Ted Drews for ice-creamy goodness.

6/7/07: The FI-ance and I take mental health days from work. At about 3:15 I go to pay bills online and realize we've got a negative balance. We head to my old bank to withdraw cash to add to the joint account. I've forgotten my atm password and begin screaming. FI-ance tries to reassure me, saying we can go inside, so I pull over. I lose it. Cursing, screaming, crying, banging on the wheel and dash, throwing things and scaring the bank employees standing outside smoking. Because of this my mental health day was not very healthy, but was totally mental.

6/6/07: FI-ance has a night of gaming as I go slowly insane over possible wedding stuff. After having hope restored, I realize again we have no money for even a small service and reception. I begin to panic and cannot fall asleep until almost 4am. I wake up at dawn to pee and see that FI-ance is still playing Empire at War (some geekfest Star Wars thing). I encourage him to stay home from work since he drives a lot on twisty roads and has had no sleep. He'll only stay home if I do. Not a problem at all.

6/2/07: I've become obsessed with wedding planning. In my search for an affordable location and caterer I see that it all costs too much. I complain to the FI-ance and begin to cry. He offers a suggestion and things seem brighter. Still, I cry myself to sleep. I am such a girl.

5/31/07: A really strange night. As I get ready for bed I notice a huge cockroach in the hall near the laundry baskets. I begin to scream. FI-ance is in the bathroom and takes time out of his busy schedule to let me know he can't help right now. NO SHIT. I smash the beast with a phone book right in front of the closed bathroom door, then jump up and down on it to make sure it's passed on. I lift the book and there is a stain much worse than you can imagine. I know I will never feel the area is clean enough so I have FI-ance bleach it (I know, it turned an odd pink color) and then put a bundle of abandoned Tux fluff on it so the spot is clearly marked.

I try to calm myself by cleaning up a bit. One of the necklaces I laid on the dresser that day is missing. I immediately know who to blame...Tux. I become hysterical, yelling as I look high and low. "I've only had that necklace for two weeks and now it's gone? WHAT THE HELL, TUX?! Why do you hate me? Can't you for once stop being so destructive and mischievous? Why can't I have nice things anymore? Why do boys mess up everything...?"

I cry myself to sleep on the couch. And what's the first thing I see when I wake up? That's right, another roach, but this time in the living room. I chase it across the room into the hall and then the bathroom, spraying it all the way. I corner it and make it die. I pull up the bathroom rug to wash it, and find my necklace. Everything really does happen for a reason.

I wake up in the morning completely worn out. I head out to my car for work and see that some lovely person has eaten something they didn't like AND SPIT GLOBS OF IT ALL OVER LILA. Really? This is the kind of neighborhood we moved into? Honestly? I am frustrated and angry but there is no one nearby for me to kill. I drive to work with hardened food all over my car. I do not care about the staring.

3 comments:

SoMuchSugar said...

Oh my god you are so funny... I can commiserate with EVERYthing here (except the wedding-plans of course, as we did the LV thing).

I think you need another Mental Health Day off of work!! With more ice cream, definitely.

SoMuchSugar said...

I know - I think we were indeed separated at birth! I connect with so many of your postings as well.

I hope you can free yourself from the over-priced haircut as well... (NOT that you're not worth it, of course!) But, arrrrghhh.

(Thanks so much for your comments; they always make my day!)

Have a good weekend xoxox

citygirl said...

Hey sug. I went to a wedding on Saturday and slept all day on Sunday, how 'bout you?

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