Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Consumer Warning: Dear God, What Is Happening To My Underarms!?


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I am really not that particular when it comes to beauty/personal care products. In general, whatever works at as cheap a price as possible usually does quite nicely for me.

However, with all the investigative confusion over whether or not aluminum in antiperspirants causes breast cancer, I decided to give a deodorant without the metallic stuff a try.

At around $4, which is more than I'd ever spent on underarm paraphernalia before, I sprung for this Tom's of Maine aluminum free deodorant. I got the lavender scent; usually I avoid lavender because it tends to be too strong and give me a headache within minutes, but this scent was like a gentle lavender breeze.

Here is where we get to the kicker. You see that sticker on top that says 24 Hour Odor Protection? Well, let me tell you to take the good folks at Tom's of Maine completely seriously. I have found that at exactly the 24 hour mark after applying something radical happens: your pits become deeply, deeply funky.

I know that sounds self-explanatory, but it's not. See, it isn't as though the deodorant fades away, leaving your body to it's own odoriferous devices. Oh, no. That's too easy. This stuff? It actually turns bad on you. Meaning, if you compare this scent at 25 hours with your usual scent after a hard workout, you will smell different and far, far and beyond worse.

Never in all my post-pubescent life, you guys. Clearly I should have looked at some reviews first. Once I finish this tube, I will be going back to Secret forever and ever, amen.

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