So, I've got my review at work coming up tomorrow. It was supposed to be today, but I got an email this morning from my current supervisor asking if we could do it Friday instead. Since my anniversary was August 24, and I haven't gotten my raise yet this troubles me a bit. I think I went to bed early last night because of the very mild stress this is causing. I fell asleep, right out of the shower, at 10:30pm. I NEVER go to sleep that early. I also had a nightmare, but we can talk about that later.
Things have been tense around here for the past month or so. Mine is a department of four people and we were overloaded with special projects, bad surprises and daily crap. Why could my review go badly? Here, let's make a list...
1) A woman I've had issues with has been made my supervisor. I understand why my current supervisor, nice guy MS, has done this. He's seriously overworked, currently doing three people's jobs, and needed to get some pressure off. He and the big boss don't get along, he's dealing with several health issues and he's got three-year-old twins at home. MS is stressed. He needed to not have to deal with something. This woman isn't a horrible person or anything. She's just very..."Hey, let's all give %210 and make this the best office ever!" While I'm more like, "How do I get through another workday without vomiting or beating someone senseless..."
2) That woman I mentioned above? I yelled at her, after she knew she was my supervisor but before I knew it. This was a couple of weeks ago, guys. Me and FI-ance had been sick all weekend and had both taken Monday off. I came in to work only for a half day that Tuesday to try to complete a special project by that Friday's deadline. I told her this and she gave me stink eye. I ignored it. MS came in and I cleared leaving at noon with him, so no problem, right? I got done with my goal for the day, processing 210 contract files in 3 1/2 hours. I was quite proud of myself. I was about to leave. She says, "I know you need to get those done, but we really need to stay on top of the new..." I cut her off, "I know that. I told you I was just coming in to catch up on the project. I don't feel good. I'm leaving." With that I walked out. Yeah, that could come back to haunt me.
3) The big boss has never really liked me and I feel I may be creeping to the top of his list again. Here's the thing about the big boss - he loves to blame and take out his frustrations on random employees. And if you've happened to have really done something wrong...Look out, Homer! Your life is about to become Hell. So, years ago now, I did something wrong and stupid and was allowed to keep my job. But, the big boss never forgets. Once he feels you've wronged him you are always on his list. Your position on that list is the only thing that changes. Why would I be heading back to the top of his hit list? I have admitted to this being a "job" as opposed to a "career" (the big boss takes many things personally that have nothing to do with him...personally), I used to hang out with SW and DS (two employees wildly hated by the big boss-he is a firm believer in guilt by association), I had the occasional package delivered to work (which he told MS to tell me to stop once he noticed it), and...God only knows what else is bugging him that I don't even know about. This is a man who refuses to hire qualified people if he doesn't like their hair. Their hair!!
I've decided that if I happen to get fired tomorrow I will simply get my shit and go quietly. I will not be one of those people who curse and scream and degrade themselves when they get fired. We have seen a lot of those here and I won't be added to the list.