Saturday, April 03, 2010
There's a Discovery
I've taken off work 4 of 5 days this week and you know what? I fucking loved it.
I wanted to finally get started on some big things I've got planned for myself, and the best way to do that was to pretend we don't need my fifty buck a day job for this week.
I already have no idea what I did with my Tuesday.
Wednesday was relatively un-productive. I listed some long-neglected items on ebay, took a three hour nap and then cried to HUBS and my mom about how things just are not the way I want them to be and how often I feel like I'll never have the life I really want (if I even really know what that is).
Thursday rocked ass. Making major headway on my list helped me feel like good things were possible. Even though, I found out this week that my only two paid writing jobs have dried up because both websites are "restructuring." I'm trying hard not to freak out about losing $450 in monthly income.
And then there was Friday. HUBS took the day off for Good Friday, we slept late, ate leftovers for lunch, watched soaps, played around online, got him an eye exam, shopped at Super WalMart and had our usual Festival of Trying Different Things after grocery shopping.
During my freak out on Wednesday I realized something. I hate waking up in the morning when I know I'm going to work. This is the same thing that happened at my last job. What I realized is that I don't want to not wake up just because of how I make my living. Also, I don't want to spend all day at work the way I've been spending it: wishing the day were over. One day my days will be over and that will be all. I don't want spend all my time wishing time would speed the fuck up. I want to be able to enjoy most of my day, even if I'm at work. I'm tired of work standing in the way of my life.
Well, this week was nice. Happy Easter, all! Here's hoping you have a great weekend.