Can Underarms Be Too Fresh?

You'll remember me lamenting the failure of my non-aluminum deodorant a while back. Well, I finally gave up on it and bought some Dove Original Scent on sale for $2. But now I don't know; it might smell too good.

I picked my usual type of scent, which is always in the Clean! Fresh! Linen! spectrum. The Dove smelled fine on its own, and then I put it on...The scent is very strong. And like...Shampoo?

These are, by far, the freshest underarms I've ever had. Every time I lift my arms I get a shampoo slap to the nostrils. While it is far better than the Tom's of B.O. experience of the last couple months, do I really need my pits to smell this good? I haven't decided yet.

I was getting ready yesterday morning, and as is the case when I haven't showered in a couple days (SHUT UP!), I added a bit more deodorant. Now, you can't just add your standard number of swipes when you haven't bathed. My typical number is between five and seven. Yesterday I only used two. I've found that if you deodorize as though you just showered, it'll backfire.

All that fake fresh on top of even the tiniest amount of natural odor will turn on you around mid-day. You'll end up with one of four smells: Frito, foot, booty or old-man-peeing-on-the-subway.

If you're going for fresh and get Frito, you haven't done your job as a human. And, as far as I'm concerned, you only have two jobs as a human: treat other people like you'd want to be treated and don't be funky enough for everyone you pass to get a whiff. That's all. Really.

So, on Tuesday morning I did my job as a human. And, if you need to get out of the house fast without showering, just know that we appreciate you taking it easy on the deodorant, too.