Monday, May 20, 2013

Music Monday: Not A Big Deal



Ah, therapy. Is there anything better than sitting down with a virtual stranger, spilling your guts and crying in panic at unexpected moments?

Yes. There's lots of shit better than that.

But, you know, not a big deal. So what that I went to see my therapist on Saturday and almost had two panic attacks over nothing in front of her. So what that she suggested anxiety is more of an issue than depression right now and I should call my psychiatrist for anxiety meds. So what that I'm clearly letting my social anxiety take over and I'm slowly becoming agoraphobic.

I can handle this.

I CAN.

I CAN REALLY HANDLE THIS.

And to prove it to myself I left the house today even though I didn't feel like it. I'm doing that every day. I have to. I need to. I can't end up locking myself away. So, even if I'm just leaving (like today) for a 10 minute drive, I'M DOING IT DAILY.







8 comments:

Susan Cooper said...

When It comes to making it happen for me, I can too... LOL. I loved your play list, again. :-)

EvaSaidIt.Com said...

I just created a Pandora list off your first two music posts. And yes, you CAN handle this. ::high fives::

JeriWB said...

I say thank goodness for Starbucks! That's always reason enough for me to get out of the house.

Trinidad Pena said...

<3 I never watch videos anymore and I kinda miss it.

MK Slagel said...

Good for you!! A agoraphobic is a hard thing to understand. Most people don't even know what it means. But no worries, you are not alone. I have become the same way in the last year and everyday it is a struggle to get out. Sometimes I don't leave home for days at a time and I'd be completely content staying there forever if I didn't have to eat or go to work. It is a real struggle but keep pushing!

Citygirl said...

Susan: We're doing the hard work, Susan. Yes!

Eva: *returning high fives* Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the music :)

Jeri: I wish it were that simple for me, I tend to prefer gas station cappuccino! My standard get-outta-the-house place is the library. I now trying to spread my daily wanderings around a bit more, so going to different places isn't freaky for me.

Trinidad: I know what you mean. About six years ago, when I realized that pretty much all the videos I'd ever want to see are on YouTube, I literally stayed up all night watching.

MK: Thanks for sharing your struggle with me! What's odd is that I've never had this before; it's completely sneaky and feels like it happened suddenly. I get the same thing where I stick to my house/yard and then at the end of a week realize I haven't left my neighborhood.

Pushing ourselves is the only way to get out of this before it becomes debilitating!

Take Charge Becc said...

I cannot say I am bordering on agoraphobia, but I do understand the anxiety issues and not wanting to go out - ever!
I have now been forced to go out 3 days a week to take my son to pre-school. It is good for me to take that walk, talk to others and be social.
It is very difficult on some days, and not so hard on others.
I do hope you continue to push yourself each day. Anxiety doesn't get as much air play as depression, but it is just as debilitating and just as disturbing.
10 minutes is a good start. Keep going. The exercise should also be beneficial to you too.
Don't forget to celebrate each day, whether it be 10 minutes out the door or 8 hours, 1 day or entire week. Celebrate every milestone :)

Citygirl said...

Becc: It's interesting, I never considered myself an anxious person until I started having panic attacks a couple of years ago. And it's almost like realizing I was anxious made the anxiety worse.

You're right, baby steps are so important!

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