Monday, August 05, 2013

Music Monday: Jesus H. Christ

Just enjoy the kitty cats...Take comfort in the kitty cats...

Ah, life. I hope all of yours are going very well, because over here? Things are kinda shitty.

What is it about bad, sad things? Why do they come in waves and droves faster than you can adjust to one sucky thing? These past couple of weeks are pretty easy to explain, so let me do it by making a list...

Suck-A-Thon 2013

1) That new freelance gig I got at the end of February? Two weeks ago my hours got cut. IN HALF. And I was already working part-time. (-$$$$)

2) The very next day, HUBS' glasses broke. ($$)

3) By the end of the week one of our cats was sick. ($)

4) We exhaust all the cash in the house and one small savings account for bills and living expenses. (-$$)

5) Our cat gets sick again, but this time needs several days in the hospital and a surgery, just completed today. ($$$$$$)

6) I've been happily getting much needed medical tests for over a month. And now, when those bills come in it will be severely nerve-wracking. ($$)

7) My last big check from work should have been here by the 1st. I STILL DON'T HAVE IT AND THEY WANT ME TO WAIT UNTIL WEDNESDAY BEFORE THEY CUT ME A NEW ONE. (-$$$)

What really kicks my ass here? This is our fault, going WAAAAYYYYY back to neither of us saving enough money when we were on our own (with the exception of my now depleted 401K). Back to me not leaving my old job A LOT sooner, leading to an emergency exit that we still have not bounced back from. Back to the depression that makes it really hard to just stick with it and keep going all the time.

So. I literally spent the past 8 hours looking for work. And was able to apply for a whopping three jobs that I'm qualified for which don't involve toilets or garbage. Don't think I'm being picky; I will probably be applying for those by the end of the week.

Why does life kick us when we're down?

I'm trying to be Zen about all this. What do I need to learn from all this? What can I do better? How can I do better?

But, really? I'm just pissed. And nervous. And very unsure about our future.

My skin has broken out and I get queasy several times a day. I'm crying more than I have since starting depression meds and it's hard to sleep.

Well, I'm going to stop talking about this now and play some music.

How do you get through when life keeps kicking you in the teeth?


MK Slagel said...

Music is always a great way to cope with emotions and stress in life. I am sorry that you are going through all of it. I know it is hard to keep on pushing when the going gets tough, but you have to imagine that you are at rock bottom and the only place you have to go from here is up. It may be a struggle, but like any struggle you will gain strength and discover a part of you that you never knew existed down in the depths of your soul. Keep your head up. You will make it.

Cassandra Schmigotzki said...

Sometimes a good cry helps, even though I hate to cry.

Find something positive to focus on.

Patricia Weber said...

Sounds like you now have vented, yes? If so, it's time to get back in the flow of your more positive aspects of life. I rarely get in waves of bad things anymore. Years ago it happened but then, not even frequently. It's likely because of many things not just one thing. For example, keeping a gratitude list has helped IMMENSELY. I'm a big believe in energy and for me, writing out that top 5 or 6 things I am grateful for, every morning, puts me in that flow. Like the music in a couple of the video pieces you posted here.

Suzanne Fluhr (Just One Boomer) said...

Man oh man. You can be the poster child for "It never rains. It pours." Ironically, one of my sisters finds herself in similar straights. Her husband kind of went crazy and took off with a biker chick, but then it turned out his insanity was triggered because he had been bleeding into his brain from an aneurysm. He had life saving surgery, but can't work. She was laid off on Monday. They have never been able to consistently save. They have 2 aged dogs who have to be on special diets, a very old cat and one young cat.She'll be eligible for UC for awhile and her employer is letting them stay on their group plan for 3 months, but then..... My husband has what must seem like an annoying tendency to tell people, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Somehow, he has always been able to do this. If I knew his secret, I'd share it with you. I hope things turn around for you soon.
(Found you on BHB)


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