Monday, August 05, 2013
Music Monday: Jesus H. Christ
Just enjoy the kitty cats...Take comfort in the kitty cats...
Ah, life. I hope all of yours are going very well, because over here? Things are kinda shitty.
What is it about bad, sad things? Why do they come in waves and droves faster than you can adjust to one sucky thing? These past couple of weeks are pretty easy to explain, so let me do it by making a list...
1) That new freelance gig I got at the end of February? Two weeks ago my hours got cut. IN HALF. And I was already working part-time. (-$$$$)
2) The very next day, HUBS' glasses broke. ($$)
3) By the end of the week one of our cats was sick. ($)
4) We exhaust all the cash in the house and one small savings account for bills and living expenses. (-$$)
5) Our cat gets sick again, but this time needs several days in the hospital and a surgery, just completed today. ($$$$$$)
6) I've been happily getting much needed medical tests for over a month. And now, when those bills come in it will be severely nerve-wracking. ($$)
7) My last big check from work should have been here by the 1st. I STILL DON'T HAVE IT AND THEY WANT ME TO WAIT UNTIL WEDNESDAY BEFORE THEY CUT ME A NEW ONE. (-$$$)
What really kicks my ass here? This is our fault, going WAAAAYYYYY back to neither of us saving enough money when we were on our own (with the exception of my now depleted 401K). Back to me not leaving my old job A LOT sooner, leading to an emergency exit that we still have not bounced back from. Back to the depression that makes it really hard to just stick with it and keep going all the time.
So. I literally spent the past 8 hours looking for work. And was able to apply for a whopping three jobs that I'm qualified for which don't involve toilets or garbage. Don't think I'm being picky; I will probably be applying for those by the end of the week.
Why does life kick us when we're down?
I'm trying to be Zen about all this. What do I need to learn from all this? What can I do better? How can I do better?
But, really? I'm just pissed. And nervous. And very unsure about our future.
My skin has broken out and I get queasy several times a day. I'm crying more than I have since starting depression meds and it's hard to sleep.
Well, I'm going to stop talking about this now and play some music.
How do you get through when life keeps kicking you in the teeth?