Cough Drop Pep Talk

I told you that I've been sick for a couple of weeks. As part of my convalescence, I downed a couple of Halls per day to keep the cough monster at bay. Last week I noticed that the wrapper on my drops was covered in positive slogans.

Inspire envy.
Be unstoppable.
Conquer today.
Dust off and get up.

Sure, this is all nice stuff to hear that could perk you up on an average day. But, it still seems a bit odd. Are we so hell bent on ambition that we can't be left to illness in peace? Or, are we so filled with in-adequateness anxiety that we need constant pep talks, even from our cough drops? Do we really need constant reassurance?

Isn't there something to be said for not being forced positive thoughts when we're sick? Sometimes you need to curl up with a box of tissues, a well-lined trash can, your comfiest p.j.'s and blanket, a stack of magazines and the best bad T.V. show you can find. Sometimes you need to sleep all day and have fever dreams and let your mind wander and not be able to tell those dreams from the real stuff happening around you.

I love a good pep talk as much as anyone, but illness is human and natural. So are bad days, lazy days and blah feelings. I'm not offended by the cough drop pep talks, I just find it to be a bit much.

What do you guys think? Is the Cough Drop Pep Talk needed or an unnecessary bridge too far?

13 Things You Should Know

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Let's get something out of the way immediately: I do not have an extensive catalog of life experience. I've never back-packed around the world alone, dated more than one guy at a time, survived a drug overdose or defeated a criminal mastermind.

Even still, I do have an interesting collection of knowledge from my time on the planet thus far. Without further ado, here's some stuff I think everyone should know.

13 Things You Should Know

1) Lady bugs are bitches. Ever been bitten by one? I have, and that shit hurts like a mutha fucka.

2) It's completely possible to forget how to ride a bike. After a couple of years not riding my bike I figured I could just hop on and glide away again...I could not.

3) You can lose a fairly significant portion of your hair and still not appear bald. It's all about careful combing, people.

4) Eating yourself into a shame coma isn't pleasant, but sometimes it is necessary.

5) There's nothing wrong with a day spent in bed, even when the days on either side of that day are filled with similar levels of do-nothing-ness.

6) You never have to say yes, but every now and then you should.

7) Multi-cat households are not automatically run by crazy people who fart loudly in front of strangers and pee in the sink. Why are people with loads of dogs seen as gentle, kind hearted folk, while people with lots of cats are deemed ready for the nut house?

8) Speaking of farting in front of strangers, sometimes you just have to. Say nothing and move on.

9) TV is awesome, but so is turning it off when you're not actually watching anything.

10) You can have acne, dry skin, oily skin and baby wrinkles all at once. The aging process? Somewhat alarming.

11) There's nothing wrong with paying for your groceries with a pile of change. It is money, after all. Just be a dear and count it out for the cashier, mmmkay?

12) You're not truly special until you manage to get a rock inside your sock while walking and wearing knee-high boots. Happens to me all the time. I blame the Weird Vortex that surrounds me.

13) You can burp and hiccup at the same time. But, be prepared; it'll either be outrageously loud or outrageously painful.

There you have it! Now, what do you think we should know?