Where's My Rooster?

I woke up late today. Not that that's unusual. I wake up late pretty much every day, and have for years now. When I graduated from college I moved back in with my mom for almost a year. I got up when she did, 6:30 each weekday morning and 9 on the weekends. I suppose I was used to getting up early for classes still, so it wasn't painful at all, even though I spent three months not going anywhere.

So what happens when I get my ass out of bed late and traffic is guaranteed to be shitty and I'm starving? Well, something has to go. So I don't wash my face. I freshen up the acne meds, slap on sunscreen, arrange my eyebrows into an alert arch and pray that I'll have time between home and work to add blush so I don't resemble the undead. To be honest here, on really fucked up mornings where I wake up at like, 7:50 and have a whole 30 minutes to get ready get to work get in my chair and start answering those phones, I don't brush my teeth either. Damn, don't look at me like that! I know it's skanky, ok? But I'm going to get to work and start in on the drinking of water and probably have one of the convenient snacks I've placed in my desk, so the breath isn't going to matter anyhow. Nah, it's all about the corner cutting, yo!

I try to get a move on earlier, I really do. I'd love to have time for an actual morning routine. As opposed to running around in various states of undress hoping I don't forget, oh, I don't know...PANTIES. When me and my boy sleep at my place I set the clock for 7 am. I've made that happen three times in 6 months, people. There simply is no hope.

Back to my routine. I'd love to have a lazy, relaxing morning. Me time, you know? Maybe do a little light stretching or some toning exercises. Drink a cup of hot green tea, read a magazine. Carefully pick a cool outfit, accessories included. I love makeup. All the colors, textures, scents, powders, creams, mousses. I'd so enjoy having time to lay my products out, play a bit and make myself look stunning. I've got all the brushes, sponges and puffs any woman could ever need. With my fashion mag addiction in full swing lately, I'd have no shortage of ideas. (I keep a file. Quit laughing, you'll choke.)

Ah, it'd be like a lovely dream, people...Then the alarm BLARES THAT FUCKING NOISE. I'm up and running, 15 minutes to get into the car and on the highway so I won't be late. Thank God I bathe at night.