Thursday, October 30, 2008
Momma & A Man
My grandmother, me and mom. 1984, maybe?
I'm a grown woman, but this? This is freaking me out just a little bit.
Last Tuesday I called my mom to see how things were going since HUBS and I saw her on her birthday. Usually when I call my mom there's nothing much to talk about. We discuss her job, how tired she is, my grandmother, and I get health/death updates on everyone. Maybe we talk about a tv show or two, but that's it really. This time, well, I wish we had discussed Prison Break. Even though I hate that show...
See, my mom's been dating. I know! I! Know! I am really happy for her. My dad left her after 22 years in a really crappy way. And that was in 1994; if she's dated at all since then she didn't tell me about it. Now, though, she's been seeing this guy that (follow this carefully) she knew growing up who was a close friend of one of her brothers who now happens to be the in-law of that same brother (i.e. my uncle is married to his friend's sister).
And suddenly, you guys? My mom, she is 16 again. Because when I called her all we talked about for the whole 30 minutes was...this guy!
She must really, really like him. Mom wasn't gushing or anything, but c'mon. Even when I tried to change the subject she worked it back around to the dude. What he looks like (exactly the same as when they were kids). His pets (a bird that talks and a dog - mom, incidentally, hates animals). Where they've gone (Applebee's and his place). What she took to protect herself from him in case he'd gone insane since she'd last seen him 40 years ago (a kitchen knife and $80 so she could catch a cab after killing him).
He even offered to take her to Aruba. Aruba, people! They've been out exactly THREE times as of last week! He wants to fly my mom to a tropical island! For fucks sake, man! Slow down! Of course, mom doesn't fly or take non-grandmother related vacations, but when I asked her she said she'd probably go to Chicago if he asked her. My grandmother, though, said "Girl, if he asks you to go somewhere, you better go! HooHoooo!" Because that's my granny, guys.
The conversation was amazing. I'm not even kidding. When she told me this guy asked her out, I was all "Cool, you should go!" I'm still glad she's doing it, but yeah...it's a bit weird.
Holy fuck cakes...what if I end up with a step-dad!?!?!