I loved Bridesmaids. Your dress? Not quite so much.
But! I have heard that some cool-ass people won. Including Melissa McCarthy, Peter Dinklage, Kyle Chandler and Margo Martindale. If you don't know who those people are...You should! They are awesome and/or on awesome shows. Check 'em out.
HUBS and I had another EXPANSION weekend, since we finally left the house early enough on Friday to go to the annual Forest Park Balloon Glow. We got stuck in horrendous pre-glow traffic the previous two years we tried to go. Last year we were actually in traffic four hours! By the time we got there it was clear there was no place to park and I had to turn frustratingly around and head home.
We were in the car by 4:30. Since most people weren't even off work yet, traffic was no problem and we even got to park right near the event. The actual glowing was amazing. I'd been twice before, in '98 and '99 I think, but I'd never been on the actual balloon field. I have to say, though, I do have some complaints about the evening. Let's make a list, shall we?
Things the Balloon Organizers Should Know That They Did Wrong
1) Remember how I said HUBS and I got there at 4:30? Well, the glowing doesn't start until about four hours later. I just knew there'd be entertainment for that huge amount of empty time. And yet, no. I mean, aside from the children's area with ponies, a climbing wall and bouncy house stuff, and a team of trampoliners. Seeing as how you have to get there ridiculously early to get in if you drive, next year there had damn well better be a few local bands, some belly dancers and fire eaters or something. Do you hear me?
2) HUBS had wanted to get Rally's before we headed in, but I was afraid any detour would land us in gridlock land, so I didn't stop until we hit the park. We ate at three different booths, spent around $40 and almost all the food was crap. One booth proclaimed to have Cajun delicacies, but their "jambalaya" consisted of half-cooked crunchy-ass white rice with some chicken and sausage chunks and a can of tomato paste. I had three or four bites before it started making me sick to my stomach because it was so nasty.
HUBS got their "crawfish etouffee" which looked so disgusting I could barely stand the sight of it. Being ever the trooper, HUBS finished both things because he was hungry and we'd paid actual, real money for them.
We then tried soft pretzels and cheese from Gus' Pretzels, a local place that's been around since 1920. I will never again, unless I've literally been starved for days, eat another Gus' pretzel.
You know the expression "What's up your butt?", well, I can now tell you that it's one of these pretzels. They were that hard, y'all! And cold. And the little cup of nacho cheese we got was cold, too. How the fuck does a business that's been around this long send out product like this to an event? All old, cold and hard as hell? Shame on you Gus! Shame!
We got burgers from a booth called Elvis' Place. They sucked, but at least the $7 funnel cake they made was rad. Jesus, Balloon People, make sure the highly expensive food is at least edible before you let these crazies in.
3) Last and not least, getting out of the park was a mess. Would it really be so difficult to have some cops around to direct traffic and the masses of walkers?
Phew! But, as with a lot of experiences that don't turn out much like you expect them to, at least now we know!
Now! Some music for your Monday night!
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