Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Cough Drop Pep Talk



I told you that I've been sick for a couple of weeks. As part of my convalescence, I downed a couple of Halls per day to keep the cough monster at bay. Last week I noticed that the wrapper on my drops was covered in positive slogans.

Inspire envy.
Be unstoppable.
Conquer today.
Dust off and get up.

Sure, this is all nice stuff to hear that could perk you up on an average day. But, it still seems a bit odd. Are we so hell bent on ambition that we can't be left to illness in peace? Or, are we so filled with in-adequateness anxiety that we need constant pep talks, even from our cough drops? Do we really need constant reassurance?

Isn't there something to be said for not being forced positive thoughts when we're sick? Sometimes you need to curl up with a box of tissues, a well-lined trash can, your comfiest p.j.'s and blanket, a stack of magazines and the best bad T.V. show you can find. Sometimes you need to sleep all day and have fever dreams and let your mind wander and not be able to tell those dreams from the real stuff happening around you.

I love a good pep talk as much as anyone, but illness is human and natural. So are bad days, lazy days and blah feelings. I'm not offended by the cough drop pep talks, I just find it to be a bit much.

What do you guys think? Is the Cough Drop Pep Talk needed or an unnecessary bridge too far?

Monday, March 05, 2012

Music Monday: Oy!



I was way behind on house cleaning, and since we have an appraiser coming over tomorrow because of our mortgage refinance, I decided that today was a good day to catch up. Laundry, base boards, stove scrubbing, floor cleaning, dusting...I even got the sides of the stove and fridge; really tight spots that get neglected a lot. I sprayed for bugs and dusted the blinds and wiped down the kitchen walls.

And completely wore myself out. I'm still hacking up lungs with a cold over here. After four and a half hours of cleaning I needed a mental and physical break. Good thing I had some good music to help me through...







Friday, March 02, 2012

Happy Friday: Spring To Winter In One Day

****

Even though we've had a super-mild winter here in Missouri, days like today help remind us that mid-western weather is completely unpredictable. Just when I was feeling crazy for indulging in my yearly boot craving, the temperature dropped 20 degrees, the sun hid behind ominous clouds and the winds began howling.



Lordy, I love looking at boots. Much more than plain shoes. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that, as a large-legged lass, I can't wear any old boots. In fact, boots that go past my ankle rarely zip all the way up. This means no cheap boots from Payless or Target for me. I've got 18 inch calves over here!



The last boots I got, for my birthday in 2010, were from Torrid. Those aren't even real leather and they cost 70 bucks! If that doesn't sound like a lot to you, let's remember that since going full-on freelance I think everything that costs more than $10 is too expensive, so, my perspective? She is skewed.



Don't boots just make you feel cozy and loved and safe and happy? Like you're in your own little cocoon of warmth and style and joy? Yes? I knew we had a lot in common. Enjoy the weekend, friends!



* Photos from Nordstrom, Delia's and Lands End catalogs.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Dammit Davy!



I grew up watching The Monkees. That might sound odd for a 37 year old to say, but by the time I was a tween, the '60s were back and Nickelodeon was playing The Monkees in hour-long blocks twice a day.

What's most disturbing about this for me is that Davy Jones was only 66. My mom is 61. It is not time for people my mom's age who were previously healthy to start suddenly dropping dead. That scares the shit out of me. Just...Dammit!





Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Ammo Slammo, It's Gotta Go Blammo!

Bombed...

Well, now that I've taken a post Oscar break to shore up my health by lazing about and sleeping all day, it's time to get back into the spring-like swing of things.

I'm not going to talk about the Academy Awards. Isn't that really for the best? I mean, aren't we all tired of leg bombs and Jennifer's boobs anyway? Sure, areolas are nice, but if you've seen one caramel nip, you've seen them all, I say.

Pop culture is such a fascinating animal, mostly because people are odd and original creatures and what we become fixated on will likely be odd as well. HUBS and I, of course, are no different.

Post The Voice/Smash television on Monday night was dead, so we stuck it on Cool TV and watched music videos. An old favorite from The Scorpions came on:



That's right, I said an old favorite. What? Can't a black girl enjoy '80s heavy metal like everyone else? Anyway, this prompted HUBS to look the band up online, where he found lyrics to a song neither of us had heard of before called You´re So Dirty (But Also So Beautiful). The words? Perfect early '80s slightly nasty nonsensical rock. Enjoy the madness!

The breath cold as ice
Even though the earth burns
Where you are also there I will be
I live now, I live here in this world
I breath through complete lust

Damn you slam you, eat me like a menu
Take it brake it, kick it to the ground
Empty hollow, it's so hard to swallow
Gotta know what's your size

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun
You tell me yet again about the fact that
No one has ever seen you
Still I stay just yours, go
Through flesh and blood
For you, you live in me

Ammo slammo, it's gotta go blammo

Lust you bust you, Can I ever trust you
Scare you dare you, anyway I want you
Catch you grab you now

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun

Hard ass lard ass, keep your hands off my stash
Holy stoli gotta have a stogie
Master blaster, buy a jabocaster
Gotta eat your heart out now

You are so nasty, and yet so fine
Oh, you're my fantasy
You are so nasty, how far will you go
To keep me true, trust me not
You are so nasty, and yet so fine
I want to lose myself in you
You are so nasty, how far will you go
Only around me to have fun


Phew! Now, if you're like me you were left with one question: What the hell is a jabocaster? Well, I found out for you. See how dedicated I am?

Friday, February 24, 2012

Happy Friday: Sleep And Sleep Some More



Fridays are good. Fridays when you're dealing with some demon combo of the flu and a cold? Not so good. But, once I get over this I'll probably be fine until at least the end of the year. So, yea!

I have been a very poor searcher of new internet things this week. Isn't it interesting how something as simple as getting online can make you tired when you're sick?

I'm going back to my lounging and sneezing. Enjoy some music on this chilly Friday evening and dance for me, my lovelies.







Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tuesday Tipday: Rid Yourself of Dream Paralysis



I subscribe to a lot of email lists, most with the hope of learning new things to help me grow as a person or professional. Sometimes, though, it's good to have an old nugget of wisdom re-worded for me and brought to my attention again.

That's what I got today when I finally read a four day old email from Write To Done. It was a guest post written by a guy who started blogging to document the process of writing a novel.

He talked about something I have struggled with for many years: letting my dreams become so big that I can't act on them. The best advice he gave is no less true for being well-known: Decision=Action. If you can make a decision, even a small one, regarding your dream of success/freedom/a better, happier life, it will lead to action. And action leads to (eventually) living your dream realistically. That means living your dream with all the highs and lows and plateaus that were likely stymieing you in the first place.

If dream paralysis has a hold on you, read How To Dream Without Making Dreams Your Master. It just might make a sense of ease wash over you.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Music Monday: I Must Be Losing My Mind...



I kinda like a song by a Jonas Brother. I...I don't know what's happening to me over here.



On the other hand, I also like this cool, odd little song featuring my new fave, Kimbra. So, I must not be going completely insane. Right?

Friday, February 17, 2012

Happy Friday: Light As A Feather



You know that feeling where the fog lifts, the clouds part and everything seems bright and hopeful again? I'm having that in spades today, and a lot of it has to do with not filling out mortgage refinance applications or talking to bankers or doing math. That stuff took up so much time this week that by yesterday this time I felt I was losing my complete and total mind.

I don't know what we're going to do for the extended weekend, but I foresee some low-cost fun. Oh yes, I do. On to the internet!

1) Lifehacker lists 50 Free Apps they adore.

2) This simple site looks like nothing much at first. But, type an Amazon.com product into the box, hit GO and get a dizzying array of like-minded items in return. It's kinda fun!

3) I haven't seen this HBO documentary yet, but I'm intrigued.

4) For job seekers: more opinions on how to get hiring managers to pay attention to you.

5) I like the looks of Greatist, yet another health and wellness website.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Today I Am Tired Of...



1) Mortgage refinance applications
2) Numbers
3) Math
4) Rain
5) Furnaces that leak
6) Buckets
7) Confusion
8) Sleeplessness
9) Anxiety
10)Tax refunds that come way late

Today I like...



1) Chocolate and strawberries
2) Cream cheese
3) Flaky homemade biscuits
4) Chicken fried in a cast iron skillet
5) Tax refunds that come in a reasonable time
6) Disney Princess gummy vitamins
7) Pandora on my TV
8) Selling on ebay/half.com
9) Rich soap opera characters whose problems are still a lot worse than mine
10)Clumsy cats

It might seem counter-intuitive, but I like the idea of purging the irritating before I embrace the cool stuff.

Dammit, I need to laugh...



This one wraps up by the six minute mark, just so you know...

Monday, February 13, 2012

Music Monday: Dammit Whitney!

Just...sigh...



Some much happier news? Adele won a shit load of Grammy Awards! And she's on the cover of Vogue!



Meanwhile, if you need a Grammy inspired laugh...



The world just gets classier everyday.

Dammit, Nicki!!

Oh, Katy...



Ahhh...That's better!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Happy Friday: Ignoring The Stress



I've had an odd realization today that I don't know what to do about. I'm not going into details, though, because it is not Happy Friday appropriate at all. So, let's look around online and have a great weekend!

1) I don't have enough space on my phone for this grocery shopping/list app, but as soon as I do I'm trying it out.

2) If WorkFlowy can really organize my screwy brain, I'll have to find a way to get the developers anything they want.

3) I just found this tip-filled health & well-being site today, but I'm already addicted.

4) This simple site will save web pages so you can read them later on any of your devices.

5) You should get to know this guy. He's funny!



Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Monday, February 06, 2012

Music Monday: I Actually Feel Hopeful...

I think it's got something to do with it being tax refund time. Oh, yeah. That's it!









Friday, February 03, 2012

Happy Friday: Something "Not So Nice"



Welcome to the end of the week, everybody! I heard something odd this Tuesday that I'd like to discuss with you.

I'd taken HUBS to work and spent the day with him at his job. He needed to get his car looked over, and it was just easier to hang out with him than do a lot of coming and going between his place of business and our house (which is about 20 minutes away).

Near the end of the rather long day, I went to the bathroom. HUBS works at an elementary school, and because there are children everywhere the bathrooms can sometimes be iffy. On this particular jaunt to the lavatory, I found a turd on the floor.

I told HUBS about it when I got back to his office, just so he'd be able to avoid it if he went in later. He decided to tell one of the custodians. After she cleaned the bathroom she stopped by his office. That's when she said this: Yeah, you were right. That's what that was. I also found something NOT SO NICE in the trash can, so I just replaced the whole bag.

HUBS thanked her, and when she walked away I told him what her "Not so nice" item had to have been: my maxi pad, which I'd wrapped up and put in the trash since there was no feminine product disposal unit around.

I'm confused. What's wrong with putting a pad in the trash? Was there some Menstruating Ladies Only restroom I should have used? I've been to HUBS' job many times, and no one has ever told me about it. What does this building filled with women do when they have their periods? Bury the pads and tampons in the field out back? Put them back in their purses? Eat the Goddammed things?

Look, I know the place is covered in kids and no one wants to discuss periods with an eight year old boy, but I was slightly offended. Is this not a natural part of life? More natural than say, finding turds on the floor? Come on, janitor lady, I know you're kinda old, but get with it. What do you think? Would you have been offended by what she said?

On to some internet things!

1) How drunk is your city?

2) Gay people should watch the Superbowl, too!

3) Spiders! Ants! Centipedes! Phantom itching explained!

4) Paste Magazine has a list for your every entertainment occasion.

5) OK, Octavia! I'm glad to have that cleared up, because I was worried for a minute that all you thought about was your weight!

That's all for me friends. Enjoy the Superbowl!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Can Underarms Be Too Fresh?



You'll remember me lamenting the failure of my non-aluminum deodorant a while back. Well, I finally gave up on it and bought some Dove Original Scent on sale for $2. But now I don't know; it might smell too good.

I picked my usual type of scent, which is always in the Clean! Fresh! Linen! spectrum. The Dove smelled fine on its own, and then I put it on...The scent is very strong. And like...Shampoo?

These are, by far, the freshest underarms I've ever had. Every time I lift my arms I get a shampoo slap to the nostrils. While it is far better than the Tom's of B.O. experience of the last couple months, do I really need my pits to smell this good? I haven't decided yet.

I was getting ready yesterday morning, and as is the case when I haven't showered in a couple days (SHUT UP!), I added a bit more deodorant. Now, you can't just add your standard number of swipes when you haven't bathed. My typical number is between five and seven. Yesterday I only used two. I've found that if you deodorize as though you just showered, it'll backfire.

All that fake fresh on top of even the tiniest amount of natural odor will turn on you around mid-day. You'll end up with one of four smells: Frito, foot, booty or old-man-peeing-on-the-subway.

If you're going for fresh and get Frito, you haven't done your job as a human. And, as far as I'm concerned, you only have two jobs as a human: treat other people like you'd want to be treated and don't be funky enough for everyone you pass to get a whiff. That's all. Really.

So, on Tuesday morning I did my job as a human. And, if you need to get out of the house fast without showering, just know that we appreciate you taking it easy on the deodorant, too.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Music Monday: Take It Easy



Sometimes you have to ease into the week as much as possible. Maybe that was my mistake today. I shot out of bed and started doing things by 8:40 am. Within two hours I was still getting things done but mentally worn out. I narrowly missed another panic attack and have likely been frowning for eight hours straight.

Things are feeling impossible again, so I want to know: How do you deal with the pressure?

Now, let's all relax away the Monday blahs...









Friday, January 27, 2012

Happy Friday! Courtesy Of Our Friend, Tina Fey

Photo

I told you earlier this week that I was reading Bossypants, right? Well, I finished today. There are lots of good things going all through that book, but I especially enjoyed Fey's names-for-things-no-one-has-yet-named and catchy phrases. In fact, I think several of them would make awesome band names. So...

Imaginary Band Names Via Tina Fey


1) Stunted Brain Cloud
2) Crazy Assache
3) Ball of Fingers!
4) Coordinator of Toddlery
5) The World-wide Parental Anxiety System
6) The Terror Burps
7) Crotch Biscuits (My personal favorite!)

Now! Internet revelry!

1) These stupid folk could learn from these people from back in the day.

2) Positive thinking makes you taller! (Or something like that.)

3) Tired of looking at that box full of jewelry that you got every time your ex needed to apologize for doing something majorly stupid? Get some money for that shit, already.

4) Learn how deepening your understanding of health, sexuality and fashion can make you the bees knees.

That's it for me friends! Enjoy the weekend!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Day I Just Gave The Fuck Up And Ate Cookies For Breakfast

This photo has nothing to do with my post. I just love the idea of a chocolate candy Jesus. There's even a halo! That, my friends, is art.

I know. I haven't posted for two days! Would you forgive me if I told you I was neck-deep in Tina Fey's Bossypants? If only for the fact that that sentence sounds dirty but isn't, you should really forgive me.

This week so far has been another in a life-long line of weeks where I disappoint myself. Other than reading and temporarily working out some financial issues, I've not done much. I haven't emptied the dishwasher or done laundry or written a single query letter or applied for any day jobs.

In fact, I'm going to go so far as to say that I haven't done any housekeeping stuff simply because I don't want to use cleaning as a convenient excuse for why I've done zero important work stuff. You know what I mean.

It's like when you have to tell your kid their ferret died, but instead you scrub all the walls in the house with a toothbrush so you can go to bed saying Well, I'm glad I finally got that done. That was some important shit that should have been done months ago so you can forget about the actual important shit that should have been done today because it's hard and you don't want to think about it right now.

I'm slowly coming to two realizations which I'm successfully letting paralyze me: ONE-The things I want are hard and will take loads of work and dedication. TWO-I am, minute by hour by day by week by year by decade, wasting my life. And instead of doing something about this, like dedicating myself to working hard and not wasting my God-given time, I've frozen up. I eat cookies for breakfast and spend all day reading books and watching TV shows by people who have jobs I'd like to have.

In my barely defensible defense, I actually only had one cookie for breakfast today. And that was preceded by a nice healthy bowl of Dulce de Leche Cheerios. Of course, I also had coffee and popcorn for lunch, so who knows? Maybe I'm imagining virtue where there is none.

What have you eaten for breakfast lately that your mother would not approve of?

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