Stud Pants and Princess Panties: Two Phrases You Need To Know

Cats in maxi pads...I am embarrassed for all involved...Especially the cats.

Music Midweek! Old School Rap

Aren't Wednesdays nice? Just a couple more days until the weekend...And, my birthday, which is on Friday. I spent a huge amount of time today trying to think of cool things to do that won't cost too much money. I thought about having us go to a bounce house this weekend, but now I'm not sure.

Any ideas for my 36th birthday festivities? No? Well, maybe listening to some old school rap from my youthful glory days will help. Enjoy!

Tuesday Tipday!

My grandmother as a little girl, standing beside her dad, in the hat. By the way, she grew up to look almost exactly like her mom, just a bit lighter.

Happy Tuesday everybody! I do apologize for missing our Music Monday, but I'm working on a playlist for tomorrow so we can have Music Midweek instead.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine turned into more of an ordeal than I thought it would. I got my hair did Saturday and then stopped by my mom's place since she lives near the hair dresser's. It was supposed to be a quick trip, but I ended up staying for about four hours.

Why? Well, shortly after I arrived my mom started crying...And then revealed that she'd been crying all day long. My uncle and grandmother's birthdays were the last week in October, and mom has been having a really hard time dealing with their loss since then. I immediately felt horrible because it didn't occur to me to call her on either of those days to see how she was. Fuck, I'm a bad daughter.

But, she did say that talking to me helped her. It is unbelievably hard to watch my mom cry and listen to her talk about how lonely she's been and how she feels stuck and can't move on. She talked a lot about the fact that everybody else is moving forward and she feels like she's the only one who can't quite get over losing those two less than a year apart. I had to keep reminding her that just because her siblings seem to be fine, it doesn't mean they aren't crying themselves to sleep three times a week. Appearances and actuality are often two very different things.

So, I've got two tips for today:

1) Remember, everyone's going through something. Regardless of how happy they look (or are).


Before/After

2) If you'll notice the photo above, you will see HUBS and my current joint home improvement pride and joy: we refinished our deck. I swear I thought it would only take one weekend but ended up taking a whole freakin' week; with all the sanding, power washing, drying, waiting to make sure it didn't rain, first coating, more drying and second coating. We finished in late October and I was sore until early November. Here's a guide if you decide to tackle the job yourself. I would recommend buying a power washer, power sander and stain sprayer if at all possible, or at least renting them. Getting between slats is a tricky, tricky business without 'em.

Tuesday Tipday!

Man, I am tired! I don't know what's going on with me this evening, but when the clock hit two? I was done for. Unfortunately, I was still in my first digital storytelling class and still had to write my SLIFF movie wrap-up. I have never had a tougher time writing, I don't think.

Today's tip is all based on the day I've had. When you need to sleep, do it. When you need to slow down, do it. When you need to lock yourself away from the world and be alone, go ahead and get it done. You'll just make things worse if you wear yourself out, even if you think it's for all the "right" reasons.

Now, off to eat a cookie and sleep.

Music Monday: Kitten Rescue!

HUBS and I did something that felt really good on Saturday; we rescued a one month old kitten.

We were about to eat dinner when HUBS looked out the window and saw a tiny kitten following some of the other strays around. We'd never seen this one before, but earlier in the day a neighbor knocked on our door because his mom had sent him to ask us what to do about a bunch of kittens wandering around in their driveway.

Why'd she send him to us? 'Cause the whole street knows we're the cat people. Observe our front yard on a daily basis:



Anyway, it was pretty obvious that this kitten got away from that other bunch because he was so small and aimlessly following the others, meowing and praying someone was his mom. The other cats were not being nice to the little guy, so we went out to see if he'd let us catch him.

It took about ten minutes but I was finally able to sneak up on him and scoop our new pal up. HUBS ran inside, covered our dinners, got my purse and his keys and we set out for the Humane Society. We got there in about 20 minutes and in that very short time came up with a name for him: Murray Von Katenstein. I think it suits him well, what do you think?



So, for this Music Monday, I'm sharing some songs to rescue kittens to. Enjoy!

Did I Tell You About My Teeth?

This must be another of the signs that my body is giving me to show that I'm getting old.

I used to be able to brush my teeth like a normal person. Brush for a bit, swirl some mouth wash around, maybe floss, and in about two minutes I was done. Then, out of nowhere, around January my gums started to hurt. I was scheduled for a dentist visit anyway and told him about it when I went.

He did his dentist thing and started poking around with that little silver hook, and my gums started to gush blood (Sorry!). I was shocked and oh so massively horrified. See, I've always had really good teeth. I've never had so much as a cavity. My dentist even calls me Miss Perfect. It just never occurred to me that I'd ever have chomper trouble. Then, at my latest visit about two months ago, the final verdict: I had...Gingivitis!!!

I've had to develop a very serious and rather lengthy regimen to keep my gums from getting torn apart when I brush. I brush for the complete recommended two minutes, then I floss, then I gargle for the complete recommended one minute, all while walking in place. (Two birds to kill, and all that.)

Believe me when I say it feels like it takes longer than three to four minutes. I have to brush very, very gingerly to avoid irritating my still raw gums. Though I am happy to say they no longer bleed.

On the plus side? I still totally have teeth! I. AM. AWESOME!

Happy weekend everybody!

Are We Really This Fucked Up?

I tell you what, I learn something new and frustratingly sad every day, it seems. Have you guys heard of drunkorexia? Apparently a lot of young women are not eating during the day so they can go out after work and drink their asses off without gaining weight.

God. Really? They're that worried about gaining weight? And they need to drink that much...Every night? Sometimes I just need people to stop and think, but they almost never do. I hope anyone taking part in this craziness comes to their senses sooner rather than later.

Also? Drunkorexia is a fucked up word. If this unfortunate business has to be a real thing, can we at least get some kind of clinical terminology for it? Please?

Have you ever done anything that seriously jeopardized your health? What made you stop?

Tuesday Tipday!

Photo

Do you all know about the free stuff? When money got really tight a few months ago, I got plugged into the internet freebie web. I've gotten magazine subscriptions, vitamins, Post-It Notes, whole bottles of Advil, sodas, toothpaste, laundry detergent, cereal bars and loads of other samples and full-sized products totally free and for little or no effort.

Now, the linkage:

1) All You Magazine

2) Hey It's Free!

3) Kraft First Taste

4) Freebies 4 Mom

5) P&G Everyday Solutions

6) My Points

7) Right at Home

8) Walmart

Want another tip for tipday? If you decide to go the My Points route (and I really think it's worth it) or even the multiple contest entry route (here and basically every major magazine website) it's worth opening up another email account just for that stuff so that your freebie mail doesn't get in the way of your business/family emails. That was one of the best decisions I made when I started entering contests about ten years ago.

Happy Tuesday!

Music Monday: Dance!

How was your weekend? Considering the flurry of activity around here (dinner out on Friday, a trip to pick up the 10 film screeners I'll be reviewing for SLIFF, lots of shopping on Saturday and a Sunday spent recovering from all the previous day's running around), I thought we could use a Music Monday dance party to start the week off right.

Put your dancin' pants on...Let's go!

Lazy Days Into Winter

You know when you get a song stuck in your head and can't stop humming it or singing to yourself? Even as you grow tired of repeating the same lines, you can't stop yourself; if you're awake, there it is, stalking the corners of your mind.

I've been having the same sensation for the past few weeks, but with a single quote that I've heard in two different places over the course of about a month.

"How you spend your days is how you spend your life."

Every time I sit on my ass and do nothing (even when nothing-doing is well-deserved, like after cleaning the living room windows and scrubbing the bathroom) it rings in my head like a school bell. It's become an automatic response, and I know why.

I have a history of wild and improbable ideas. Things I really, truly desire to try or just plain get done. But, I also have a magnificent history of letting the enormity of those ideas push me into ambition-less funks where nothing gets done because all I can think of is the impossible-seeming glory that'll result from the end product.

If you didn't already know, I'm screwy.

So I know this quote from, I believe, Annie Dillard is my mind's way of pushing me forward. And yet, as the words reverberate in my own mental voice, all I can seem to do is what needs to be done: empty the dishwasher, clean the windows, do the laundry, feed the cats, take a bath, pay bills, run books back to the library...

I don't want to leave this Earth only having done what I needed to. I want to finish my screenplay and build on my other ideas, write my books and get them published, sell my photographs, spiff up this blog even more, go to networking events and not vomit from fear beforehand, travel wildly and make money doing something I enjoy. You know, among other things.

I suppose I've made some small steps recently. Last week I signed up for a digital storytelling class that may lead to work (Paid? God, I hope paid.) with our local PBS station. Last night HUBS and I went mini-golfing in the dark. That may not sound like a big step, but I'd never been mini-golfing before and it was on my list of things to try. We had fun and I foresee us doing it again soon.

I want to know, how do you spend your days and how do you want to spend your days going forward?

Dammit Grooveshark! And, Tuesday Tip Day!

I fully intended to file the first half of this post yesterday. But, as you can partially see from the title, I was having trouble with my nifty little widget. But! Today I finally figured the thing out and now I present to you the inaugural (pretend it's still Monday, y'all...) Music Monday!

See, I've decided to start some weekly features here on citygirl to keep things fresh for me and you. I love music. Almost as much as I love movies, self-help books and TV shows that make me feel warm and things that sparkle. Also? I think I've got pretty fine taste in music and I have a knack for finding cool new music.

The playlist above is a gift for when you're in a turn off the TV, wrap yourself in a big sweater and ruminate over your life's many dilemmas mood. Just a little bit of rock, some soul, some oldies and some pure fun pop for when you need a bit of background music.

In other news, there's also a weekly feature for today! From now on Tuesdays will be Tuesday Tip Day.

Today's Tip: When trying to save money, use half. I've been using half a dryer sheet for months now with no change in the static free-ness of our clothes. Try it. Half a slice of cheese on your sandwich, half a tank of gas if you're not driving much these days, half of that giant cookie you probably shouldn't eat all in one sitting anyway. You'll stretch your resources and save some dinero.

Editor's Note: If you have trouble playing the songs, let me know. I don't want to have to put a smackdown on Grooveshark, but I will for you internet.

Television: The Best Ever Reason To Stay On Your Ass? Discuss...

My apologies for the dearth of posts this week. HUBS and I have undertaken a deck renovation project that was supposed to take one weekend but has instead lasted all freakin' week long. We are sorer and tireder (yeah, I made those up) than we thought we'd be, but we plan to finish (For Real!) tonight. Let's all pray we make it through.

So, we're several weeks into the new TV season now. I fully admit that I've become mighty jaded in my old TV viewing ways. It used to be that I was always excited about some new show or another, but now I've just been burned too many times by stuff that sounded good but turned out iffy.

Even when I spy something right up my sci-fi/fantasy/government conspiracy/ooh-I-like-that-actor alley, instead of thinking Wooo, I'm there baby! my mind can only work itself up to We'll see, fuckers. We'll see...

But! This doesn't mean I don't find at least a couple of shows to try out every year. Here's what I'm watching and what I think about the new crop of ass-planting entertainment.

1) The Event: As far as I'm concerned this is the only reason to watch TV on Monday nights. (Don't talk to me about How I Met Your Mother. I've watched it about 15 times across the past umpteen seasons and laughed a total of two times. That's just not good enough HIMYM. Not good enough at all.) The first episode didn't grab me immediately like Lost, Supernatural, The X-Files or 24, but they did make me want more and didn't irritate me a single time during the hour. It's growing on me; I like that I can figure some stuff out, but not everything. Thanks for surprising me, The Event.

2) Hawaii Five-0: HUBS is kinda crazy for this show, and I've never known him to like your standard issue cop drama. I've been watching it with him, but Lord knows why. Aside from the scenery and the fact that I'm glad Jin and Sharon have jobs again, it's not really doing anything for me.

3) Raising Hope: The only reason I watched this was because of all the good press it got, and that first ep was hilarious. The following shows haven't been quite as funny, but I'm enjoying the cast and where they're going with things. It's absolutely worth a look if you haven't seen it yet.

4) Undercovers: I want to love this show like I love a cool, fall day, but I just don't. And? I can't even explain why it's letting me down. A show staring black people that has nothing to do with them being black and also isn't an insipid half hour comedy? I should be eating this shit up! They get to be sexy, in love, funny, deadly, gorgeous and super skilled at wildly difficult things! But the show is still sorta boring! And yet I keep watching! Because I feel I have to!

5) Hellcats: Was anybody else expecting to hate everyone in this show, only to catch the repeat of the pilot and realize it doesn't make heads explode with bitchy teen drama mediocrity? That's what hit HUBS and I when we caught the show this week, totally by accident. I'll actually be looking for this one next week.

6) Outsourced: I've been watching this every week even though the pilot only made me laugh once. And I haven't been completely amused by any of the other episodes either. I think I'm watching it as a place-holder for the sublime Parks and Recreation. They better still be bringing my show back at mid-season. You hear me NBC?!

What fall shows have you hooked? Or semi-hooked, as the case may be?

And...We're Old!

I had no idea things would fall apart this quickly. I mean, I much prefer getting old to the alternative (Death? Yeah, until we find a way to actually turn back time, death is the only other way...), but that doesn't mean it's not odd how our bodies can change so fast.

For instance? I can't stay up all night anymore. I know! It's super sad and shit! Well, really I can still stay up, but the aftermath is exhausting.

The last time HUBS and I spent the night awake was probably around April. It was fun; coffee and hot chocolate were imbibed, movies were watched and internet browsed. But, for the entire week after I. Was. Ruined. For the first time in months I had to sleep until noon every single day, and then after a few hours awake I was tired again.

Then, around August, we both discovered we were having difficulties making it to our (now standard) bedtime of 1 a.m. We had gotten in the habit of watching Craig and then drifting off to sleep. But now? We usually fall asleep on the couch by 10:30 or 11.

I suppose it won't be long now until we're eating dinner at 4 p.m., hitting the sack at 8 p.m. and starting our day before the sun does. Where's my Denny's discount?

Can anybody else feel middle/old age creeping up on them? What's it doing to you?

Flurry

The activity around here today has been mostly in my head, but did, nonetheless, give me that oh-my-God-must-remember-it-all-and-get-it-done head rush feeling I dislike.

But, I've still managed to:

1) Supervise the putting in of a new front door and make note to call tomorrow so they can fix a weird missing wood chunk thing.

2) Mostly figure out the best way to pay off our debts.

3) Sign up for my first ever bank CD.

4) Find an easy recipe for dinner.

5) Register my Panera Bread rewards card.

6) Walk almost two miles just in the house.

7) Shower and get clothes on just in time for the door guy to show up.

8) List all our outstanding credit card debt.

9) Do minor chemical exfoliation to some dark spots (thanks zits!) on my face.

10) Get 50 free business cards at moo.

11) Find the best stain for our deck and the cheapest power washer to clean it with first.

And I've got other stuff I still need to do! Like actually cook dinner and make some more phone calls. I am not fond of getting things done, but only in a way that makes me feel like my life is nothing but busywork. That's how I've felt all week.

How busy was your day today? Are you doing any of the things you want to do?

Weekend Wonderful

It's unbelievably nice to have some money on the weekends. Here's what we did with a bit of ours.

1) Took my mom out to lunch and shopping for her birthday (she's 60) on Saturday. Our haul totaled 1 lip balm, 1 fingernail polish and 1 body butter. We were gone for six hours. Clearly we are shopping superstars. I'm thinking of a rematch sometime this week. Let me tell you, though, it was so nice to be able to treat my mom to lunch. I haven't been able to do that in years.

2) Went grocery shopping at three different stores. Spent more in one grocery trip then we ever have and finally stocked up on some things. Had a deliriously good time at Sunday night's Festival of Trying Different Things. Also? You need to buy this now. And eat it. It's the best freakin' icy treat in the world as far as I'm concerned.

3) Ate out without worrying that we really should have been eating beans and rice again. On Friday HUBS and I managed a $20 dinner at Olive Garden, and Sunday afternoon was all about happy hour specials at La Salsa, where we spent $11 total. By the way? I think our general new rule-of-eating-out-thumb will be to get an appetizer, share one entree and maybe get one drink that we share while the other person gets water. I know eating out is not the best use of funds, but dammit, I find it completely enjoyable!

4) When I was with my mom, HUBS was walking around the strip malls close to our house. He got some stuff we've been wanting/needing for awhile. When I got home he introduced me to our new Foreman Grill, his new Nike Air shoes and Mizzou baseball cap, and the St. Louis Browns cap he got as a Christmas gift for his grandfather. HUBS also told me about a certain sparkly something he got me as a late anniversary/birthday present! He claims it's well hidden, but let's see how long it takes me to happen upon it while cleaning.

On tap for next weekend is finally washing/staining our deck and possibly getting Luanne groomed. She's developed a ton of fur clumps that brushing simply is not taking care of, and trying to cut them out myself was nearly impossible with all her squirming and clawing and questioning of my motives.


You can't really see the extent of her fluff here. She's like a sheep cat.

How was your weekend?

Why Is It...

Drawing courtesy here

That every time I'm with HUBS at his job and we're alone there into the night, I fear a zombie invasion?

I'm so odd.
____________________________________________________________

So, what are you guys doing this weekend? Anything fun? Can I come?

Is It Fall Yet, Or Not?

After quite a few days of unseasonably cool weather, we're about to hurtle back into the 80s again this weekend.

This is bad because anything over 75 and sunny feels like an oven to me.

This is good because we will finally have the right combination of money and warm, but not ass-killing hot temperatures in order to stain our back deck. Something we haven't done in two years because of our financial issues.

I anticipate HUBS doing most of the staining while I supervise (i.e. kick back with a magazine and a Black Cherry Freeze and pay no attention to the work being done at all. Hi HUBS!)

Have You Heard The One About The 35-Year-Old Woman And Her 401K?

It goes like this:

So a woman works for the same company for almost 10 years, right? And, she hates it almost the whole time. But then she finally leaves, happy to be free and really happy to have built up a nice little nest egg in her 401k.

The woman has a degree from a good university and a steady work history, she thinks she'll finally have a good job that she enjoys within a few months. But, the woman was wrong. The economy dips to the ninth circle of Hell shortly after she leaves her old, hated job and she can't get hired. Not even Best Buy, Walmart or Target will take her.

So, when almost three years have gone by and all unemployment benefits have run out, the woman and her husband are in deep, deep, shitty credit card debt. They are scared and angry. They know they should have done things differently: lived more frugally and had the woman back-burner the dream job search sooner. But also! They weren't out buying yachts and crap. They mostly used the credit to pay for much needed (sudden) home/car repairs and groceries.

The woman talks to 10 Consumer Credit Counseling agencies. Some won't offer any deals at all because of the negative income the couple has at the end of the month. The others offer deals that they still cannot afford.

The woman gives in and gives it all to God. She's tired of the phone calls, the crying, the constant math-doing and bill shuffling. She's tired of the stress, the sleepless nights, the headaches, body aches and the constant beans and rice eating, the woman is gassy enough without all that.

That woman? She lets go of her fear and obstinacy and sees one way out. She cashes in her 401k.



I freely admit that when HUBS brought up the idea of using my 401k to help us out of this jam it made me incredibly angry. Not because he suggested it. Because it felt like I would then have nothing to show for my unnecessarily long stint at a job I mostly despised.

Then last Saturday, after yet another talk with a creditor, I felt something change. The idea of doing this big, major thing made me feel free. Things will still be tight, but not can't-afford-groceries-must-eat-the-same-things-day-and-night tight.

I can see that I needed this; to have a financial fuck up so big that I had to use my retirement fund to fuel my rescue. And, if we had done this over a year ago, when HUBS first suggested it, there would have been considerably less money to work with.

I can also see what a blessing it is that I had that option in the first place. (Well, last place really. Believe me when I say using your retirement fund to bail yourself out is always an absolute last resort option.) Some people get into this kind of bind and only have bankruptcy to look forward to.

I am committed to not using credit cards until we dig ourselves out of this mess totally, and then only sparingly. I am committed to finding an in-the-meantime job until someone realizes how fabulous I am and pays me lots of moolah to write. I am committed to living within our means and helping HUBS do the same.

Thank God, y'all.

Word To The Wise

If you're using the NuvaRing for birth control, don't skip a month because you don't have enough money for the prescription. Find the cash, yo. Especially if you were prone to heavy periods prior to starting on the thing, because your body? She will not like that.

I skipped my ring usage back in July, and as a result had my period for almost the full month of August and a heavy period in September. I'm tellin' you, it's like my four years on the thing didn't matter at all! And? Do you know how stressful it is to have low-grade bleeding for three weeks? I've never used any other form of lady-time-interruptus birth control, so I don't know if this would happen with the others, but...Gah!

The one ring...it really does rule them all.

Show Your Knees!

These are totally as good as Naomi Campbell's knees...I'm just sayin'.

I had an epiphany recently. Last month, I bought and started wearing a pair of shorts. And these were not just any pair of shorts, oh no. These shorts show my knees. I know, I know, that sounds ridiculous, so let me give you some back story.

I have not worn shorts since sometime around 1995 when I was still in college. At the time, the only shorts I wore were guys shorts. They weren't tight or showy and they hid my knees. Oh, my knees. They've been a sore spot of mine since I was a wee child. When I was about 10 years old I decided my knees were best left an unseen entity by the known world.

My issues with them were many and varied:

1) They were badly scarred and discolored from an accident when I was 6.
2) They were fat.
3) They were stretch-marked from all that fast food I ate.

Alright, so I only had three issues with my knees, but they were bigguns y'all! And until last month I'd firmly committed myself to never letting them see the light of day. (Aside from the odd trip to the pool, which brought up so many other body traumas that my fatty, marked-up knees actually became the least of my concerns.)

So, what happened in August? Well, I was shopping for another pair of work appropriate walking shorts. You know, something in a nice, tailored style that would let my legs breathe a little but not show too much. I was browsing one of my favorite sites when I saw these:


photo courtesy OneStopPlus.com

Oh my God, I thought, they're so cute! And they were ten bucks, so I bought them. I got them home and tried them on. They were downright cozy, those shorts! Nice, airy fabric with a nice color and nice pockets. I felt good in them.

Until I looked down and saw my knees. There they were, two banes of my existence just hangin' out and saying How Do! to the world at large. Dammit, I thought, can't keep 'em.

I had resolved to send them back. But, over the course of a week I tried them on for my mom and HUBS and put them on at least twice just to look at myself in them again, something I never do. Generally when I buy clothing, that's it. I try it on, I like it, I buy it, I cut the tags off and put it away. I couldn't do that here. There was a new kind of feeling I had when I put these shorts on. I felt nervous and excited and free and scared. Like I was doing something naughty; maybe even something that the general population wouldn't approve of...And? It felt good.

I decided to cheat a bit: I'd wear the shorts out once, and if I felt uncomfortable or kept tugging at them or kept looking to see how others were responding to The Knees, I'd send them back. Do you know what mighty amazing thing happened? I totally didn't care what random strangers might be thinking! And I was comfortable! And I didn't tug at them once!

I was freeeeeeeee! Over the course of the next month I wore my new Freedom Shorts about two or three times a week. Now I'm thinking of getting tights (something I haven't worn since about 2000) so I can keep rockin' my freedom as the weather gets cooler.

The lesson here, I think, is that so often we tell ourselves what we can't do/shouldn't do because of our or others' outdated ideas of ourselves. People! I missed out on shorts because, decades after I made the decision to keep them under wraps, I figured that was still the best option for me. If I'd tried to wear shorts earlier, who knows when I would have realized that I didn't need to hide anymore.

So? Just do it! At least once every few years, see how it feels to show your flabby upper arms (been there; busted that fear with my sleeveless wedding dress two years ago), your raggedy feet, your varicose veined calves and yes, even your fat, imperfect knees.

One day you may find clothing that makes you feel good, even with your (former) dislikes flashing the world.