Happy Friday: Sleep And Sleep Some More

Fridays are good. Fridays when you're dealing with some demon combo of the flu and a cold? Not so good. But, once I get over this I'll probably be fine until at least the end of the year. So, yea!

I have been a very poor searcher of new internet things this week. Isn't it interesting how something as simple as getting online can make you tired when you're sick?

I'm going back to my lounging and sneezing. Enjoy some music on this chilly Friday evening and dance for me, my lovelies.

Tuesday Tipday: Rid Yourself of Dream Paralysis

I subscribe to a lot of email lists, most with the hope of learning new things to help me grow as a person or professional. Sometimes, though, it's good to have an old nugget of wisdom re-worded for me and brought to my attention again.

That's what I got today when I finally read a four day old email from Write To Done. It was a guest post written by a guy who started blogging to document the process of writing a novel.

He talked about something I have struggled with for many years: letting my dreams become so big that I can't act on them. The best advice he gave is no less true for being well-known: Decision=Action. If you can make a decision, even a small one, regarding your dream of success/freedom/a better, happier life, it will lead to action. And action leads to (eventually) living your dream realistically. That means living your dream with all the highs and lows and plateaus that were likely stymieing you in the first place.

If dream paralysis has a hold on you, read How To Dream Without Making Dreams Your Master. It just might make a sense of ease wash over you.

Music Monday: I Must Be Losing My Mind...

I kinda like a song by a Jonas Brother. I...I don't know what's happening to me over here.



On the other hand, I also like this cool, odd little song featuring my new fave, Kimbra. So, I must not be going completely insane. Right?

Happy Friday: Light As A Feather

You know that feeling where the fog lifts, the clouds part and everything seems bright and hopeful again? I'm having that in spades today, and a lot of it has to do with not filling out mortgage refinance applications or talking to bankers or doing math. That stuff took up so much time this week that by yesterday this time I felt I was losing my complete and total mind.

I don't know what we're going to do for the extended weekend, but I foresee some low-cost fun. Oh yes, I do. On to the internet!

1) Lifehacker lists 50 Free Apps they adore.

2) This simple site looks like nothing much at first. But, type an Amazon.com product into the box, hit GO and get a dizzying array of like-minded items in return. It's kinda fun!

3) I haven't seen this HBO documentary yet, but I'm intrigued.

4) For job seekers: more opinions on how to get hiring managers to pay attention to you.

5) I like the looks of Greatist, yet another health and wellness website.

Today I Am Tired Of...

1) Mortgage refinance applications
2) Numbers
3) Math
4) Rain
5) Furnaces that leak
6) Buckets
7) Confusion
8) Sleeplessness
9) Anxiety
10)Tax refunds that come way late

Today I like...



1) Chocolate and strawberries
2) Cream cheese
3) Flaky homemade biscuits
4) Chicken fried in a cast iron skillet
5) Tax refunds that come in a reasonable time
6) Disney Princess gummy vitamins
7) Pandora on my TV
8) Selling on ebay/half.com
9) Rich soap opera characters whose problems are still a lot worse than mine
10)Clumsy cats

It might seem counter-intuitive, but I like the idea of purging the irritating before I embrace the cool stuff.

Dammit, I need to laugh...



This one wraps up by the six minute mark, just so you know...

Music Monday: Dammit Whitney!

Just...sigh...



Some much happier news? Adele won a shit load of Grammy Awards! And she's on the cover of Vogue!



Meanwhile, if you need a Grammy inspired laugh...



The world just gets classier everyday.

Dammit, Nicki!!

Oh, Katy...



Ahhh...That's better!

Happy Friday: Ignoring The Stress

I've had an odd realization today that I don't know what to do about. I'm not going into details, though, because it is not Happy Friday appropriate at all. So, let's look around online and have a great weekend!

1) I don't have enough space on my phone for this grocery shopping/list app, but as soon as I do I'm trying it out.

2) If WorkFlowy can really organize my screwy brain, I'll have to find a way to get the developers anything they want.

3) I just found this tip-filled health & well-being site today, but I'm already addicted.

4) This simple site will save web pages so you can read them later on any of your devices.

5) You should get to know this guy. He's funny!

Possibly The Funniest M&M's Commercial...Ever

I laugh every time I watch it, and I've watched it quite often.

Music Monday: I Actually Feel Hopeful...

I think it's got something to do with it being tax refund time. Oh, yeah. That's it!

Happy Friday: Something "Not So Nice"

Welcome to the end of the week, everybody! I heard something odd this Tuesday that I'd like to discuss with you.

I'd taken HUBS to work and spent the day with him at his job. He needed to get his car looked over, and it was just easier to hang out with him than do a lot of coming and going between his place of business and our house (which is about 20 minutes away).

Near the end of the rather long day, I went to the bathroom. HUBS works at an elementary school, and because there are children everywhere the bathrooms can sometimes be iffy. On this particular jaunt to the lavatory, I found a turd on the floor.

I told HUBS about it when I got back to his office, just so he'd be able to avoid it if he went in later. He decided to tell one of the custodians. After she cleaned the bathroom she stopped by his office. That's when she said this: Yeah, you were right. That's what that was. I also found something NOT SO NICE in the trash can, so I just replaced the whole bag.

HUBS thanked her, and when she walked away I told him what her "Not so nice" item had to have been: my maxi pad, which I'd wrapped up and put in the trash since there was no feminine product disposal unit around.

I'm confused. What's wrong with putting a pad in the trash? Was there some Menstruating Ladies Only restroom I should have used? I've been to HUBS' job many times, and no one has ever told me about it. What does this building filled with women do when they have their periods? Bury the pads and tampons in the field out back? Put them back in their purses? Eat the Goddammed things?

Look, I know the place is covered in kids and no one wants to discuss periods with an eight year old boy, but I was slightly offended. Is this not a natural part of life? More natural than say, finding turds on the floor? Come on, janitor lady, I know you're kinda old, but get with it. What do you think? Would you have been offended by what she said?

On to some internet things!

1) How drunk is your city?

2) Gay people should watch the Superbowl, too!

3) Spiders! Ants! Centipedes! Phantom itching explained!

4) Paste Magazine has a list for your every entertainment occasion.

5) OK, Octavia! I'm glad to have that cleared up, because I was worried for a minute that all you thought about was your weight!

That's all for me friends. Enjoy the Superbowl!

A Nice Thought

Too true...

Can Underarms Be Too Fresh?

You'll remember me lamenting the failure of my non-aluminum deodorant a while back. Well, I finally gave up on it and bought some Dove Original Scent on sale for $2. But now I don't know; it might smell too good.

I picked my usual type of scent, which is always in the Clean! Fresh! Linen! spectrum. The Dove smelled fine on its own, and then I put it on...The scent is very strong. And like...Shampoo?

These are, by far, the freshest underarms I've ever had. Every time I lift my arms I get a shampoo slap to the nostrils. While it is far better than the Tom's of B.O. experience of the last couple months, do I really need my pits to smell this good? I haven't decided yet.

I was getting ready yesterday morning, and as is the case when I haven't showered in a couple days (SHUT UP!), I added a bit more deodorant. Now, you can't just add your standard number of swipes when you haven't bathed. My typical number is between five and seven. Yesterday I only used two. I've found that if you deodorize as though you just showered, it'll backfire.

All that fake fresh on top of even the tiniest amount of natural odor will turn on you around mid-day. You'll end up with one of four smells: Frito, foot, booty or old-man-peeing-on-the-subway.

If you're going for fresh and get Frito, you haven't done your job as a human. And, as far as I'm concerned, you only have two jobs as a human: treat other people like you'd want to be treated and don't be funky enough for everyone you pass to get a whiff. That's all. Really.

So, on Tuesday morning I did my job as a human. And, if you need to get out of the house fast without showering, just know that we appreciate you taking it easy on the deodorant, too.

Music Monday: Take It Easy

Sometimes you have to ease into the week as much as possible. Maybe that was my mistake today. I shot out of bed and started doing things by 8:40 am. Within two hours I was still getting things done but mentally worn out. I narrowly missed another panic attack and have likely been frowning for eight hours straight.

Things are feeling impossible again, so I want to know: How do you deal with the pressure?

Now, let's all relax away the Monday blahs...

Happy Friday! Courtesy Of Our Friend, Tina Fey

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I told you earlier this week that I was reading Bossypants, right? Well, I finished today. There are lots of good things going all through that book, but I especially enjoyed Fey's names-for-things-no-one-has-yet-named and catchy phrases. In fact, I think several of them would make awesome band names. So...

Imaginary Band Names Via Tina Fey

1) Stunted Brain Cloud
2) Crazy Assache
3) Ball of Fingers!
4) Coordinator of Toddlery
5) The World-wide Parental Anxiety System
6) The Terror Burps
7) Crotch Biscuits (My personal favorite!)

Now! Internet revelry!

1) These stupid folk could learn from these people from back in the day.

2) Positive thinking makes you taller! (Or something like that.)

3) Tired of looking at that box full of jewelry that you got every time your ex needed to apologize for doing something majorly stupid? Get some money for that shit, already.

4) Learn how deepening your understanding of health, sexuality and fashion can make you the bees knees.

That's it for me friends! Enjoy the weekend!!

The Day I Just Gave The Fuck Up And Ate Cookies For Breakfast

This photo has nothing to do with my post. I just love the idea of a chocolate candy Jesus. There's even a halo! That, my friends, is art.

I know. I haven't posted for two days! Would you forgive me if I told you I was neck-deep in Tina Fey's Bossypants? If only for the fact that that sentence sounds dirty but isn't, you should really forgive me.

This week so far has been another in a life-long line of weeks where I disappoint myself. Other than reading and temporarily working out some financial issues, I've not done much. I haven't emptied the dishwasher or done laundry or written a single query letter or applied for any day jobs.

In fact, I'm going to go so far as to say that I haven't done any housekeeping stuff simply because I don't want to use cleaning as a convenient excuse for why I've done zero important work stuff. You know what I mean.

It's like when you have to tell your kid their ferret died, but instead you scrub all the walls in the house with a toothbrush so you can go to bed saying Well, I'm glad I finally got that done. That was some important shit that should have been done months ago so you can forget about the actual important shit that should have been done today because it's hard and you don't want to think about it right now.

I'm slowly coming to two realizations which I'm successfully letting paralyze me: ONE-The things I want are hard and will take loads of work and dedication. TWO-I am, minute by hour by day by week by year by decade, wasting my life. And instead of doing something about this, like dedicating myself to working hard and not wasting my God-given time, I've frozen up. I eat cookies for breakfast and spend all day reading books and watching TV shows by people who have jobs I'd like to have.

In my barely defensible defense, I actually only had one cookie for breakfast today. And that was preceded by a nice healthy bowl of Dulce de Leche Cheerios. Of course, I also had coffee and popcorn for lunch, so who knows? Maybe I'm imagining virtue where there is none.

What have you eaten for breakfast lately that your mother would not approve of?

Happy Monday: Lord! The Stress!

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Things That Are Stressing Me Out Today

1) I've been on and off my period twice in the last week...Over a week before I was due to have my period at all.
2) Paypal is being a dick.
3) My tummy hurts.
4) My back hurts.
5) Ebay is being a dick.
6) People who hire people are being dicks.

Things That Make Me Happy Today

1) Pandora on my TV!
2) Final payment arrived from dead freelance writing job!
3) Cobbling together $28 from various online survey companies/accounts!
4) Clearing out internet bookmarks I don't use!
5) YouTube on my TV!

Speaking of YouTube...

Happy Friday: All Around Town

Welcome to Friday again, my lovelies! If you haven't heard, the amazing Etta James has died. If you don't know who she is and you love music, you should know who she is. Check out the video above from 1962 for a sprinkling of her vocal talents.

This weekend promises to be more sedate for HUBS and I than last weekend. We visited The Loop Ice Carnival on Saturday to see the hoop dancers, stilt walkers, fire performers and penguin people brave the cold in U City.







Then, on Sunday, we did Eagle Days on the unbelievably windy and frigidly cold Old Chain of Rocks Bridge. Where, by the way, we saw tons of gulls, but only about three eagles.







Now, let's see if we can find some interesting things for you to peruse online.

1) The winter hats and tees on this site are killing me. I want almost all of them!

2) Awkward celeb photos take the internet by storm!

3) Loving Ron Swanson could never be wrong.

4) Ryan Gosling has done a surprisingly large amount of singing during his career.

5) If regular TV isn't floating your entertainment boat right now, look into the rising number of web series that are catching on.

That's all for me, today. Have lovely times, my friends!

I Feel Much Better When I Accomplish Things. Why Do I Continually Need To Relearn This?

Wow, you guys. I got a shit-ton done yesterday, and it wasn't even a Wednesday!

I applied for eight jobs yesterday. That's the most actual jobs I've ever applied for in one day. When I say actual jobs, I mean there were job openings listed, as opposed to me just sending out random resumes and cover letters to places I'd like to work, thinking Notice me! Like me! Hire me! Please? Please!

It was quite nice to be able to truly relax when HUBS got home. There were less shouldas hanging around my brain making it hard to concentrate on Tara's third season. I was spurred on by HUBS' activity on Monday night. The man applied for 14 jobs in five hours. I tried, but after eight jobs and four and a half hours, my brain just dried the fuck out.

I still need to write my query letters and my freelance writing marketing letters. But, I do feel good about Tuesday's productivity level. So, yay for accomplishment. But, boo for basically needing to accomplish the exact same stuff every day!

Ah, well. 'Tis life, my friends.

What do you have to keep relearning?

Well, That Bored The Crap Outta Me

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Did anyone watch Alcatraz on Fox last night? I was really hoping it would hit all my mysterious conspiracy buttons and turn into must-see, appointment viewing TV.

Instead it felt a lot like a tired version of early LOST. Not much of a surprise since J.J. Abrams is behind this show as well. It was all just so slow and lackadaisical (Though the two hour premiere somehow managed to speed by. Which was good. Because I was bored.), even the action scenes didn't make my heart race.

I was fully prepared to like it and deal with several seasons of convoluted-story bullshit. But what I got was something that didn't inspire any devotion on the viewer's part at all.

My main issue? How did the government explain the disappearance of every prisoner and guard and guard's family from Alcatraz in a way that made none of them ask any questions? You know they're never going to explain that to any significant level of satisfaction, right?

Blah. Now, because I am indeed a TV whore, I'll give it another shot to thrill me. But they better hurry the fuck up. I'm almost 40; I can't waste all my time on television that sucks!

Happy Friday: Desperation Is A Cold Cup Of Coffee

This is Thursday's sad coffee cup. Why was my coffee cup so blue, you ask? Because our 18 1/2 year old microwave blew out Wednesday night (With sparks! Exciting!) and I couldn't reheat the coffee that was left inside her belly.

I know not having a microwave for all of 18 hours (That's right, not even a full day of inconvenience.) isn't exactly a hardship, but it was still irritating. And it was irritating that it was irritating. What's wrong with me? I boiled water on the stove all of three times: for hot chocolate, a bowl of oatmeal and coffee.

By that third bowl I was actually tired. And when that last tablespoon of my coffee got cold I thought Shit, what do I do now? I'd rather not drink it cold, but I don't want to throw it out either. I can't boil a tablespoon of coffee to heat it back up! It would get hot and immediately evaporate!

I ended up just putting the mug in the refrigerator with my tiny pool of coffee in the bottom. What did people do in 1950? Just drink that shit cold?

Oh, well. Now that HUBS and I have a new microwave we can all concentrate on some internet things...

1) How have I not heard about this until now?

2) Dying to have a bound book of all your twats...Uh, tweets, from twitter? These folks can do it.

3) Some style trends that need to die a much faster death.

4) I always knew FASHION was stupid.

5) A Pandora for YouTube videos? I'm already hooked!

6) Catch up on all the Shit Girls Say madness. I think my favorite is the parody Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls. Oh yeah. That's it!