Music Monday: So, I've Started That Again

The following is an open letter to a very specific part of my stubborn psyche.

Dear Mental Blockage,

Alright. You have to stop this. You need to apply for work to get work. Just because you've been rejected sight unseen by Best Buy, several local TV and radio stations, newspapers and libraries, WalMart and Blockbuster doesn't mean that you will never get work again. It only seems that way.

You did good today; applying for your first job in a month and a half. Nordstrom would be lucky to have you. And if they can't see that another company will. Also, if that's the case? Fuck them. Forever and a day.

Notice how relatively good and responsible you feel after the initial anger from job application idiocy subsides? Isn't that a good feeling? Don't you want more of that? OK! Keep applying for work! All we're asking is two job applications a day. That's not much! You can do it and still have time for lots of other things. Like playing with the cats and reading 900 page long fantasy novels.

I'm glad we had this talk, Psyche. I love you when you act like a rational human soul.

Now! Music!

Happy Friday: Good Times

Well, I've been working on some things the past few weeks that have me feeling pretty good. About a month ago I started writing down notes on a story idea I've had percolating for most of this year. I've written the first paragraph; mostly, though, I've made notes on characters and done quite a bit of world-building. Since it's a fantasy/sci-fi idea, I'll need to establish some parameters of the time/place my characters are living in. And you know what? I think I'm doing good so far.

For the past two weeks, though, I've been keeping most of my attention on writing a short story for a Writer's Digest competition. This is the first short story I've written and only the second real writing contest of any kind I've entered. The entry fee is nice and cheap (only five bucks), so I figured I couldn't not enter.

This story is another one that's been in my brain, but this time I've been thinking about it for years. Finally getting these ideas down feel really good. Like maybe I'm having a creative breakthrough and pushing aside my fears a bit.

Well, that's enough about me! Let's show you some awesome internet things!

1) Photojojo has a great tutorial on shooting double exposure pictures, even for those of you using digital.

2) Lifehacker has a plan to help you get to the root of your rampant procrastination.

3) Brain Pickings introduces us to The Antidote by Oliver Burkeman. It's a book about how trying so hard to think positive all the time might actually be harming our chances of being happy. My cynical self is very eager to read this one. You will be too, especially after watching the book trailer.

4) If you love movies and want a deep read on movies about African Americans, you have to check out this Indiewire post about "race traitors." There's a lot of interesting stuff in there.

5) OK, I know I said I wasn't going to write more about me today, but I finally have confirmation that I'm not the only one who spends most of every summer heat wave angry! (And when I say "summer heat wave" I actually mean any day above 75 degrees in the summer.)

Now, I hope you've all enjoyed New Music Week because it's coming to a close. Here's some new newness for your Friday afternoon!

Today Is Light Duty

Wow, I am low on inspiration today. I probably needed more sleep and a much stronger caffeinated beverage this morning. But, that doesn't mean I lack for new sounds. New Music Week continues!

I Have Done This Work Thing All Wrong

Annie Jump Cannon

I had a bad dream that scared me awake yesterday morning. I was still working at my old job, the one I spent almost 10 years at doing things I didn't care about at all. One day, the Big Boss' daughter comes in with him. She's a little girl of around nine or so. He introduces me and she seems nice, then they head back to his office with her bounding down the hall all the way.

The next part of the dream is a bit fuzzy, but as I remember it, I start a vacation the next day and am gone for about a week. Normal vacation time. When I get back in to work everyone's asking me about my time off and I see a new face. We're introduced and when she walks away I ask someone about her. What do they say? Oh, her? She's Big Boss' daughter, remember? She works here now.

The woman is clearly mid-twenties. Meaning, 15 years have passed with me doing the same job I hate and I hadn't even noticed.

I cannot fully describe the cold dread that woke me up Tuesday morning. I was sick to my stomach, sweaty and something else...Suddenly aware, maybe? After my initial shock I didn't think about the dream any more. Until this morning when I had a work-related flash of insight:

When I left my job four years and six months ago, I wasn't stepping out on faith. I was being stupid.

There's a saying about faith without works being dead. I hadn't done any of the work to be able to leave my job and have things turn out alright. But it didn't occur to me at the time. When they made me the offer, all I could think about was being free. Of course, I likely would have been fired had I not taken the deal, but I didn't think about that either. The idea of being happy with some job somewhere was all I could see.

And yet, now that I know this, and truly feel in my bones that I made a huge mistake, there's nothing I can do about it. Now, I feel more fear about the future than I do on an average day. I feel dumber, even less prepared to live and thrive in the real world. More useless. Less able to cope with my failings.

And I don't (really, really don't) know what to do about it.
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Ahh, fuck. I need some music to pep me up.

Tuesday Tipday: How To Do Nothing

As someone who is riddled with fears, wild hopes and anxieties, it is frequently important to sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up and do nothing. And I'm not talking about turning off the TV so you can start the latest bestseller. God, no. I'm literally talking about doing nothing.

About twice a month I sit in the bathroom with fresh air blowing across my face and stare out the window. (What do you mean, am I using the bathroom? A-Rude question; B-Sometimes, yes; C-What does it matter?) All I care about is having a little time to clear my mind of worries and responsibilities.

That's all that should matter to you, too. Here's how to make it happen.

How To Do Nothing

1) This is not a chore. Don't immediately add Do Nothing to the already long list of crap you have to take care of. Planning for it will make it seem like a duty instead of a sanity-saving measure.

2) Stop where you are. This isn't about marathon length quiet time; the goal is to fit it into your daily activities. I don't make special trips to the bathroom for this, I just linger a bit longer than necessary on occasion. So, if you finish loading the dryer, stop for a minute or two, listen to the hum and do nothing. I promise, it will feel nice.

3) Find what you like. If you're having trouble carving out 60 seconds for this, you're probably trying too hard to "do it right". Think of something you enjoy looking at and use that as your focus for nothingness. Ripples blowing across a lake? Fine. Running horses? Great. Naked people? That'll do the trick. Commit that image to your imagination if it's not naturally occurring around you. Then, use it as a starting point.

4) Meditate if you dare. Years ago when I was living in my first apartment after moving out of my mom's place, I tried in earnest to meditate. I'd lay on special mats and light special candles and listen to special music. Nothing much ever came of it. Then, one night with my windows open and sounds of the street pouring in, I decided to sit in a lawn chair in my living room in the dark and try again.

I don't know exactly what happened, but I had some sort of semi-transcendent moment that scared the shit out of me and made me stay away from meditation for over a decade. My point? Find what works for you. All the prep work I put in clearly stopped me from having a real experience. If you need more than a minute on the toilet, take it.

5) Relax, already. To really clear you mind, don't try to clear your mind. That will only litter your brain with all kinds of useless rumblings that will be even harder to get out. Let your mind wander. The thoughts will come and go, and in between them you'll have little spells of calm blankness. You will finally be doing nothing, and you'll like it.

Now, let's dive into New Music Week!





What's you favorite way to do nothing?

Music Monday: New Music Week!

So, it's Monday again. We got some relief in St. Louis courtesy of a good, old fashioned rainy night yesterday. We hadn't had any major rain for about three weeks, so it had been dry and super hot.

HUBS and I also spent two and a half hours at the most extensive community pool I've ever been to. They had two giant water slides, a large outdoor pool, an indoor water slide, an indoor wave pool, a kiddie pool with bubbles and hot tub. HUBS has been talking about going to this particular pool for at least two years and I've never wanted to go.

Why, you ask? Because I hate being in public with no pants on. Because I can't swim. Because I dislike seeing bodies that are better or worse than mine. Because I dislike getting my hair wet or my eyeglasses wet. Because I don't like getting splashed in the face...I could go on, but won't. Despite my distaste for getting any part of my body wet while not bathing, I am a huge wet blanket at the pool (The beach is another story. I like beaches as long as I have some shade.)

But I went. For HUBS. And after about an hour I got a locker key, put my bag away, watched HUBS on the water slides and waded into the wave pool. After getting a 20 minute pounding, we went off the the hot tub and relaxed with the water jets. I don't need to go through this every weekend, but I'd be willing to go again at some point.

Now, we all know Monday is for music here on citygirl, but I've decided to do something different this week. Along with my usual Monday post, I'm also going to feature two new (to me, anyway) songs each day through Friday. Yay, right? Discovering new bands/artists is one of the things I love most in this world, and I especially love turning other people on to good music.

So, let's get started!





To tell me what new music you're loving lately, leave a comment below and maybe some of your favorites will show up on New Music Week!

Happy Friday: Settling Into Summer

Heat wave and warm-weather storms aside, now that July 4 has come and gone you cannot deny that we are in the ferocious days of summer. Does anyone else feel like the outrageous temps are keeping them from enjoying things?

I know I do. HUBS and I have barely been able to move this week. St. Louisans are dealing with our second straight week of 100 degree or more (usually more) temperatures. While am I so, so grateful to have a home and working A/C, our house is still hot. Our air runs non-stop from about 9 a.m. to midnight, but we've been seeing 85 degrees inside the house daily.

The ceiling is hot (I don't believe we have adequate insulation up there at all.); trying to nap mid-day is a mostly lost cause because our bedroom is a hot box and the bed is hot when you get into it. This needs to end...SOON. When I think of all the people and animals who live outside. I simply cannot imagine how they make it through the long, sweltering days.

We have managed to do a few things other than sit at home and watch TV, though.

1) I met up with my buddies from Girlfriend Circles again on Saturday for tea. It's nice to have a reason to dress up and people to talk to. I like them, and we have a good amount of stuff in common, but I'm kinda anxious to get to the part where we're really friends instead of committed acquaintances.

2) On Tuesday HUBS and I had what would turn out to be our July 4 celebration. We drove over to Swansea, IL to eat at Big Mama's Barbeque. Then went on to Belleville, IL for dessert at The White Cottage. Expect reviews next week of the awesome foodstuffs we consumed!

3) Since we were already in town, we saw a double feature at what is the last drive-in theater in the area, The Skyview. We saw Spider-Man and Men in Black 3. I thought it had cooled off enough to sit with the windows down, but HUBS disagreed and we ended up running the air for most of each film. The movies themselves were meh and OK, but it was nice to do something different and get home past midnight for once!

That's it! On the 4th we stayed at home; I watered the garden right before it got dark and we watched various fireworks displays on TV from the darkness of our finally cooling off living room. I hope you all had fun and stayed cool this week, and that you've got more fun, cool-staying in store for the weekend. Now, here are some nice internet discoveries from this week.

1) Lifehacker has cool tips and tricks for all you cat people out there.

2) Fantasy/Sci-Fi readers or those interested in the genres should take a look at this list of The Greatest Female Sci-Fi/Fantasy Authors of All Time.

3) If you're feeling as though you look less than polished due to the heat, well maybe this will make you feel better. Some of these ladies are doing fine. Some of them, really are not.

4) Last, but not least, if you need a summer music playlist try this or this.

That's all folks!

How will you have fun and stay cool this weekend?

Happy Friday: That's How This Goes

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I don't know how many of you might be in the Midwest, but Mother Nature is no joke right now. Yesterday it got up to 108 degrees. Right now? It's 103 and looks like it'll get up to 106 before the sun goes down. Glory! I guess it's summer now, huh?

HUBS will be on vacation next week, and I am actually really glad we don't have a trip planned. I'm at the beginnings of trying to make some changes, and if we were going away next week it would be even harder to get a grip on some of my crap.

Well, that's all for now. Let's look around online and see what we can find, shall we?

1) Anyone dealing with depression or anxiety knows that it can be hard to talk yourself down in the midst of a bad spell. Here's some simple advice that might help if you're blue or mired in panic.

2) If I were the type to spend $95 on wall art, these '60s style James Bond inspired prints would fill my home.

3) I find string theory fascinating. Writer Rob Bryanton tries to explain a world of more than three and a 1/2 dimensions with some intriguing YouTube videos and a very well written blog. I got lost in them, even though I by no means understood all of it. It's nice to stretch your brain, isn't it?

4) Still getting used to Twitter, like me? You might find this Twitter Cheat Sheet helpful.

5) Chuck Wendig has the best list of 25 Things You Should Know About Writing Fantasy. Whether you write the stuff or read it you'll appreciate his thoughts.

That's all for me, lovelies! Peace out!

What cool things have you found online lately?

Tuesday Tipday: How To Be A Dick

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It's fairly easy to be beloved by all. I mean, aren't there enough tomes teaching us how to click with others or win friends and influence people?

If you really want to be original, you need to be daring. And if you want to be daring? Be a dick. Here's how.

How To Be A Dick

1) You are the most special of special people. Don't let anyone forget it. Especially people who've never met you before.

2) There's nothing wrong with interrupting people to correct their supposed knowledge in front of others. How else will they learn?

3) Why do people try to talk to you about their problems? How could they not know that your problems are much more problematic? You have so much to teach these plebeians about pain.

4) Small victories are for sissies. When some blow hard is going on about finishing the first chapter of his novel, feel free to feign interest. Gloating is for superstars and that, my friend, is you.

5) Don't return their call. Ever.

6) Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but honesty isn't. So, yeah, she totally looks fat in that and you can't be afraid to tell her. She shouldn't have asked if she didn't want to know.

7) You have wonderful taste. Go ahead and invite folks to dinner at that $100 a plate restaurant you love.

8) No, don't offer to pay for them. Yes, you're basically made of money, But if they couldn't afford the place they should not have come.

9) Yes, they're boring and badly dressed. But you can't deny them the pleasure of your company. You're too good looking and your suit costs too much money for that.

10) Crop-dusting keeps it away from you. What could be more important?

Music Monday: I'm Reading My Ass Off

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I'm so proud of myself, people! A couple of years ago I pledged to start reading more books, and I've outdone myself this month. I just finished the 912 page Kushiel's Dart this morning. After only three weeks of reading.

This is a huge deal for me. First of all, I rarely read anything that long. In fact, I think I've only read one novel approximate in length, and that was just last summer. Also, I'm a pretty slow reader. I like to fully imagine the world in my mind, go over good parts again and use different voices for characters in my head to make the story as real as possible. So, yeah, it can take me a while to get done.

But, I finished! And just in time for the online book club discussion tonight. Head over to Vaginal Fantasy Hangout at 8pm PST tonight if you're interested. I find the discussions entertaining even if I've never read the book!

I returned the book to the library today and decided to jump into the second book in the series. This one is 700 pages. Plus I've put Shadow of Night on hold so I can start on that when it comes out next month. And that? That is almost 600 pages. I will be busy for the foreseeable future.

Now! Music!

Happy Friday: The Days Are Longer, The Sun Is Hot

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In my effort to get some grocery shopping done, I was finally able to wrest myself from the comfort of A/C and shade this morning. HUBS and I have been eating out all week, but tonight I have a nice array of dinner options to choose from which won't require me leaving the house again or talking on the phone to a teenager eager to grow up, move out and get a better job.

And now, you know what? I don't feel anything like cooking. But, I suppose we can deal with that later.

Actually, the only real cooking I've done on the hot days of this week involved a giant chocolate chip cookie that filled an 11 inch cast iron skillet. You'll have to click the link to get a gander at it. I meant to photograph my cookie (*giggle*), but I've been too busy eating each time I come near it to bother.

That's enough of that! Let's get on with the internet!

1) If you're vacationless this summer like lots of us looking to save money, get your travel kicks courtesy of Sonia's Travels. This chick travels A LOT. I'm jealous.

2) Still wondering how much sunscreen you need to apply and how often, already? David McCandless and friends provide a handy infographic for you. Just scroll about 1/4 of the way down the page.

3) Getting things done isn't always easy, even when it's something we know we need to do. Take a look at this list of 10 Steps to Infuse Your Goals with Momentum Inspiring Passion.

4) If you're looking to do some reading this weekend, check out Click. It's a book about how people forge fast bonds with one another and how we can use those things to our advantage when getting to know others. As someone who's always looking to break past my shyness barrier, I really appreciated the knowledge. It's a helpful, interesting and quick read.

5) Want to sit at home and do some shopping? eShakti offers all their styles up to size 26 and you can customize many of the items. This gorgeous number will be mine in about a week, thanks to a contest from Eat The Damn Cake.

That's all from me, lovelies. Enjoy!

What are you looking forward to this weekend?

Twitter Is Making Me Needy

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Remember almost a month ago when I joined Twitter? I cannot lie to you, I've found it much more addictive than I ever thought possible. But there's a problem.

It's making me really, super needy.

See, it feels like this direct line to your favorite people. Whether they be actors, writers, singers, comedians, scientists, what-have-you. And watching them respond to what appear to be regular old folk opened up this possibility that they'd respond to me, too. And while it's possible that someone will at some point, for a week or two there it was driving me slightly batty that I was being ignored.

Not just by the famous people, but, seemingly, by everyone.

Part of this is my natural tendency toward shyness and how I've always wished it were easier for me to just jump right in and communicate with others. Really, how upset can you get about going unnoticed when you don't do much to get noticed?

I am happy to report, though, that I've mostly gotten over it. I've been tweeting my twitters in a vacuum. Posting, re-tweeting, reading and mostly not replying to anyone at all. I figure I'll keep that up until I can get over my shy-girl-in-the-corner-at-the-party feeling enough to engage other twits (Is that what we're called? Well, it should be.) without holding on to a desired outcome.

And now that I've added another major social media thing to my repertoire, I also feel slightly overwhelmed by all the information coming at me.

For instance, when I realized you could favorite tweets you like, I started starring things like crazy. I'm using it mostly as a bookmarking system for tweets that link to articles I want to go back and read.

What this means, though, is that now I've got things starred in Twitter and my Google Reader. Bookmarks in Explorer and Firefox. Favorites on YouTube. Favorites in my Yahoo and Netscape email accounts. Notes written down in notebooks and on scraps of paper. And tons of stuff pinned to my Pinterest boards.

I frequently find myself saying, Hey, I should tell people about X! Only to realize I have no idea where the fuck I stashed the info.

I suppose it wouldn't be technology if it didn't simultaneously make our lives easier and more difficult at the same time, would it?

How do you consolidate all your favorite internet info?

Music Monday: It's An Oven Out There

I did something I never usually do this weekend: I wandered around in the elements on two consecutive hot as hell days. I know! We met HUBS' family in Hermann at a winery for lunch on Saturday and ended up hanging out in town a little, visiting the house his maternal grandparents used to live in and stopping by their graves at the cemetery.

Sunday we went to a breakfast buffet at a Greek place called Ari's. It came highly recommended by St. Louis Magazine, and while it was cheap ($6.95 a person!) it was also not quite as good as IHOP. The food was pretty basic and got cold quickly, which was ironic, since the restaurant was as hot and stuffy as hell on fire. The problem? They had an omelet bar set up in the tiny bar along with the buffet with all the chafing dishes. Sorry, Greeks, that's too much fire in a small space that's also crowded with people on a boiling hot day!

Frequently, you really do get what you pay for. We won't be going back.

Sunday wasn't all so-so. We also got some much needed shopping done and finally got to see Chronicle*, a sleeper hit that came out earlier this year. It's relatively short and absolutely worth your time; it's a stunningly original take on something we've seen a lot of in the past dozen or so years.

Well, what did you do this weekend? Were you able to stay cool and relaxed? I ended up with a heat rash and certainly hope you were able to avoid that!

Now! Music!







*p.s. I disagree with the review I linked to that the ending was overkill. I loved the whole movie. Wish I had written it.

Happy Friday: Is It Time For A Nap, Yet?

Hello, lovelies! I hope you've all had a well-worked day in prep for a weekend of lounging by the pool, reading trashy novels on the deck while burgers sizzle on the grill, partying or whatever else you may have planned.

HUBS and I have some Father's Day festivities, but other than that, our weekend is an open book. Since we have temps in the 90s in St. Louis, I can assure you that I will be spending as much time as possible under the roar of any available AC.

Now, let's take a look at some interesting internet things, shall we?

1) I'm not sure what to make of this. Vagina funnel, anyone?

2) I can't be the only one who wonders if the beauty products I pick up really do what they claim to. If you shop at BeautySage, you'll know they work and are worth the dough.

3) I'm majorly intrigued by True & Co., an online bra club where all bras cost $45.

4) Music and photography lovers will enjoy this look at some iconic jazz greats from the 1930s and '40s.

5) If you're planning to be out and about this weekend, you might want to get some help from the Oh Ranger! Park Finder app and the UV Detector app. I wish the UV Detector was available on Android but it doesn't appear to be. Oh, well. I just got another excuse to stay indoors!

That's all for this week, friends. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. And everyone else? Enjoy your weekend!

Tuesday Tipday: How To Make The World Seem Less Horrible

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There are times when it all gets to be too much. Even if your life is going pretty good, it can be difficult not to become obsessed with the screwy stuff going on around you. Anxiety about the state of things can lead to a host of physical and mental issues. Sometimes, a glass of wine at dinner just isn't enough.

Here are some tips to keep your brain from overloading on the deep and overwhelming problems of the world.

5 Ways To Make The World Feel Less Shitty

1) Stop paying attention, already: My first journalism class in college made us watch the news every night as homework. It wasn't long before the horrors of the mid-1990s were keeping me up at night. I simply knew too much. As soon as I finished that class I was done with the nightly news. It took me years to watch again on a regular basis. And you know what? You don't need to worry about not knowing enough, because the big stories will still get through. So give the constant CNN watching/political website reading/thrice daily major newspaper readings a break. Just long enough for your mind to stop spinning.

2) Focus your attention: No one person can do something about everything. Pick the stuff that most bothers you or that you feel you can work on the best and concentrate on helping with those issues. Volunteer at a food pantry. Raise money for homeless animals. Work at a non-profit that helps abused children. See? Don't you feel less scattered, angry and scared now?

3) Stop talking to her: Don't look at me like that, you know exactly who I mean! Anyone who's had more than one friend or close acquaintance in life recognizes The Negativity Queen. She doesn't just call to vent. She calls because her world is coming to an end and she needs your help. NOW. She calls after waking up from a drunken stupor and realizing her roommate shaved off all her vagina hair and she should probably move. With your help. In the next hour.

It doesn't even matter if she's making bad choices that lead to these catastrophes or if the bad just seems to follow her unassuming person around. Don't respond to the emails or return the calls for a bit. You've got stuff going on too, and there's nothing wrong with tending to your own business without someone else's drama clouding your mind. And yes, The Negativity Queen can be a guy. So, the next time you get a message from your buddy Frank about how his wife found out he cheated on him, threw his things into the driveway and set them on fire and he needs a place to crash; it's OK to pretend you're out of town.

4) Stress is for people named Ridge: I think there's a kernel in many of us that watches the news and goes, Crap. At least my life isn't that bad! The problem, of course, is that you're using another person's real misery to pump yourself up a little. I have a better idea, one that's helped me tremendously: Melodrama. A good soap opera or tear-jerker will give you the same result without actual lives being in ruins. Search for "soap opera death scenes", "soap opera fights" or "soap opera revelations" on Youtube. You'll feel better in no time.

5) Relax, worry gets you nowhere: I know, it's not easy to stop the crazy train once it gets going. That's how I had a panic attack in a grocery store parking lot after realizing I'd left my coupon book somewhere. But, if you can head the train off when you hear the gears starting up you'll be a lot better off. Have that wine. Watch a funny movie. Read a trashy magazine. Find what calms you and use it to stop the torrent of anxiety that's bubbling up. Sometimes the little things really can help.

Music Monday: What In The Natural Hell

He won't be blowing any horns today...

Hello, all. Did you have good weekends? I certainly hope so, because I need to share a small story with you.

Yes, I took a blog break last week. That is not foremost in my mind right now. What is? The crazy morning I had in the first hour and 15 minutes of my day.

I woke up at 8:45. The first thing I noticed upon opening the bedroom door was that one of our cats had expelled a bit of furball. Not unusual for this lot. I commenced to checking all the carpet and pillows and furniture for more traces (Tux tends to start in one spot and then proceed to carry on all over the house), then headed to the bathroom for more inspection.

I parted the blinds to do my daily check of the garden, since I was near a garden-facing window. Wow, what did I see, you ask? A FREAKING DEAD ANIMAL LAYING RIGHT IN MY GARDEN. NEAR MY FUCKING VEGETABLES!

Now, in the past year I've seen two dead mice in the yard. One was even headless. That, however did not prepare me for what appeared to be a poor dead rabbit in the garden. Not. At. All.

I was honestly quite shaken and feeling a bit sick to my stomach. What happened? Why didn't whatever killed the poor thing carry it off and finish it? What if it was eating from my garden and something in there killed it?

More likely, there was a life and death struggle in my back yard sometime overnight. And we didn't hear it.

Actually, now that I think about it, hearing it wouldn't have done any good. If I'd heard a struggle in our back yard (which was pitch black last night), I wouldn't have gone out there. Who does that? Only big-boobed, blond horror movie women.

HUBS and I went out to get it up. Then, as soon as we open the back door, what do I see? TWO BIG-ASS FUCKING SNAKES RIGHT BY THE DECK! One had part of it's body in our basement window.

JESUS, NATURE! LEAVE ME ALONE, ALREADY! I GET IT, YOU RUN THIS BITCH!!

I was primed to stay on the deck, but HUBS couldn't get the rabbit on the shovel, so I had to go help him. Which, of course, meant that as soon as I stepped into our snake infested yard and got near him, he got the damn rabbit on the shovel (the poor thing died with it's eyes open).

We got it into a black trash bag I'd lined with grocery bags and poured vinegar over it to try to make sure nothing would mess with it before we could get the sanitation department out here to pick it up.

The only lucky moment? It waited to rain until after we got back inside. Well, that, and I suppose it was lucky that we didn't actually see the bunny I'm gong to call Bernard get attacked. Because, crap, what would we have done about that?

Wow, thanks for letting me vent. Music, now?

Music Monday: Wow, I Clearly Need A New Weeding Method

Have you ever done just the right amount of physical work at just the right time so that you wake up feeling fuzzy headed, sore and totally spent the next day? Well, that's clearly what I've done, because I have not been right today. Let's see if some music will help us feel better...











There. I almost feel more alert now. How about you?

Happy Friday!

Things have cooled off considerably in St. Louis the past couple of days, which figures since I just wrote a post on how to keep your ass from sweating off when it's outrageously hot. HUBS and I will be holed up inside tomorrow in honor of our neighborhood's annual raucous homecoming. I'm really looking forward to catching up on Downton Abbey and just chillin' (Do people still say that? No? Ahh, well, such is life.)

Here's some cool stuff I found online this week.

1) All the TV addicts out there will like this wrap up of the 2011-2012 season.

2) Do any of you ladies read sci fi/fantasy lady fiction? I've only read two books in the genre and I still enjoyed the Vaginal Fantasy Hangout.

3) Going outside can make you happier, more creative and more focused. Also, letting your mind wander might not be such a bad thing.

4) The White Girl Problems twitter feed. Go. Now!

5) Maybe you and your boss don't get along, but things likely won't get as heated as the contentious relationships these actors had with their directors.

There. If the weather's nice go sit outside and get more creative this weekend as your mind wanders.

Unnecessary Government Decisions

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By now you've likely heard that Mayor Bloomberg wants to turn NYC into an area somewhat free of large sugary drinks.

I understand his motives, but we all know this is bullshit, right? As has been said many times today, there's nothing to stop someone from buying two or more smaller drinks. Or, for that matter, buying a giant bottle of their favorite evil drink at WalMart and pouring it into a travel mug as needed.

But, there's something bigger that bothers me about this. When will people learn that we need to be allowed to make our own bad decisions, especially when those decisions don't hurt anyone else?

The way I see it, everything is a muscle. If you never pick anything up, you'll eventually lose the ability to pick things up because you aren't strong enough. The more basic, personal choices are regulated and taken away from us, the more I believe people will lose the ability to decide simple things for themselves. The less we use our brains, the worse off we all are.

Also, let's not pretend it'll cost nothing to regulate every cup of sugary whatever at every convenience store, gas station, sit down eatery and fast food joint in NYC. The local government will get bigger, sillier and more expensive. Which always leads to needing more tax dollars. Which leads to people having less of their income to spend and businesses having less money to hire and pay workers.

And, let's not forget that anything milk based is exempt from this proposed move. Because we all know that milkshakes are essentially a health food.

I'm going to say something now that's going to sound really bitchy and horrible. Here it goes:

Remember way, way back when all governments did was fight wars and make sure folks didn't murder each other in the street for no reason? If you made a bunch of really dumb-ass decisions in a row at least one of three things would happen: you'd get sick/become incapacitated, you'd die or someone would kill you. You would, in some way, be rendered unable to reproduce anymore and your particular brand of shitty, bad-choice-making genes would be wiped from the Earth. Likely providing a very good lesson to anyone who watched you do stupid shit and then cease to exist.

An example? On Sunday night I had a Whopper, small fries and a small soda for dinner. Monday, HUBS made burgers and fries at home for lunch. Tuesday? I was sick as a dog. Message received. Never again for me.

I'm not saying that we should never help anyone out ever. I am saying that if, in 2012, you're an adult who doesn't know or care that having a lot of sugary drinks isn't good for you, maybe you should be allowed to get sick because of it. Maybe it'll teach you something when you become diabetic and need to have your foot amputated. Just. Maybe.

And, fuck, if you don't get the point then what are we supposed to do with you? Assign a government appointed health Nazi to keep you on the straight and narrow?

I can't imagine that would be cheap.

A Nice Thought

Tuesday Tipday: How To Stay Cool

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How To Stay Cool Outside When You'd Rather Be Riding Someone's A/C Unit

Now that we've had our unofficial start to summer it's time to consider summer's greatest challenge: enjoying our days without passing out from heat exhaustion.

I know what you're thinking, I've never gotten heat exhaustion, why would it hit me now. To that I say, you never know, friend. You just. Never. Know.

1) Nighttime is the right time: For that matter, so is the early morning. If you really must be outside, leave the comfort of your air conditioner as early or late as possible. Mornings around 5 or 6 am tend to be the coolest. An 102 degree night will still be unpleasant, but at least the blasted sun won't be slapping the shit out of you at the same time. This is why I'll spend the next few months watering and weeding my garden at increasing late hours. Citygirl ain't no fool.

2) You + Water = BFF: Even if you're not working outside (Hello, road crews!) you still need to stay hydrated. Unless you keep cool by panting like a dog, ingestible liquids are your best friend. Fill up a huge travel mug or thermos with ice and water, put it in the freezer a few minutes before take off and sip throughout your travels. Tired of water? Add lemon,limes or cucumber. Slip inside someplace cool and have a soda, Slurpee or Frosty. Just don't let yourself dry out. That's when things get dangerous.

3) Your car is an oven; don't stand for it: I don't have A/C in my car anymore. The single most important thing I've learned to do (other than bringing a frosty beverage)? Roll the windows down the morning I'm going somewhere. This will help even if you are blissfully supplied with cool, cool forced air to your vehicle. Letting air flow through your car will keep it cooler. Just roll the windows up and turn on the air when you're ready to roll. If you just can't bear the idea of leaving your unattended car with the windows open, I just read a cool tip on Lifehacker for getting the hot air outquickly.

4) The world is an oven; baste accordingly: I'm not talking about sunscreen, although applying a cooling one about 30 minutes before you head into the sun could certainly help. I'm talking about your choice of clothing. Please, for your own good, wear the lightest possible clothes you can. Light in weight and light in color. I've got some white linen pants that save my life every summer. And, don't be afraid to carry your own shade with you. Men! Get a lightly colored umbrella. Women! You have many parasol choices. Both! Wear an open weave hat already.

5) Stay out of the sun; that is all: If you don't know by now, keep to the shade and shadows when walking around on a hellishly hot day. I go out of my way on a regular basis to stay away from direct sunlight. This includes staying in the house when it's too hot for my delicate sensibilities. Whatever works, people!

There, now you're fully prepared for the summer. I'm going to continue sitting inside my A/C filled house. How about you?

Happy Friday: Doing A New Thing

Julia's not so sure...

Well, I finally did it. I finally joined the millions of tweeting twits on Twitter! Yay for new things, right? I have to say, I've only been on the site for about 24 hours, but I think I'm already getting addicted. Which is something I in no way thought would transpire. At all. Isn't it nice to surprise yourself?

Ok, so, as soon as I find my directions on how to add social media buttons to my blog, I'll add a twitter button over there in my sidebar. Oh, and also? I'm on Instagram now, too. Just look for rockygirl3 and the same photo as the one under About Me A Little. Now! To the internet!

1) All the creatives out there can benefit from A 5-Step Technique for Producing Ideas via Brain Pickings.

2) Exercising without sweating? Yes, please.

3) Can't get an invite to Pinterest but want to track your shopping obsessions? Try Currently Obsessed.

4) Any television fiend needs as many places to get spoilers and news as possible. TVLine is a great addition for you.

5) Ever wonder how A List actors spend their copious dough? This NY Mag report from late January breaks things down nicely.

There, my lovelies! It's gonna be a hot one this weekend, so stay inside, do some reading and enjoy the AC.

Dammit Robin!

I know it's been a few days now since Robin Gibb lost his battle with cancer. If you haven't heard the glory that is How Deep is Your Love, you should play the above video right now. It's in my personal top 20 of favorite songs.

Now, can our music legends stop dying for a while...Please?

A Little Bit Of Progress

You know what was nice about this weekend? What was nice about this weekend was that, for once, I didn't chicken out of a networking event. On Sunday night I went to a Girlfriend Circles meeting. There were two other women there and we had a good time talking about pets, parenting (even though none of us has kids), jobs and life in general. We even had to be kicked out of the cafe' where we met because we were still there a half hour after they'd closed.

It felt so freakin' good to talk to other women! In person! Even though we're basically strangers! We've already made plans to meetup again late next month. Isn't that cool? I might get some good friends out of this!

I think there was momentum left over from that meeting. I went to a screening for a movie I'm reviewing yesterday morning, and I talked to people! I even got a business card from one guy and sent him an email today.

EXPANSION and CONNECTION can be lovely things.

Happy Friday: What's Come Over Me?

Man, I am fuzzy today. I can hardly stay awake and am hoping it doesn't have anything to do with the odd bug/insect bite on my arm (which I am keeping an eye on and luckily it hasn't gotten worse).

Let's move on to some nifty internet things so you can get out there and have a nice weekend...

1) Did you know that there's a Pinterest-like site just for travel? Enter Trippy.

2) I'm considering bowing to social pressure and joining Twitter. When I do, I'll probably follow most of these folks.

3) If you're looking to build an online portfolio, any of these sites can help you for free.

4) You may have noticed that I'm often neck deep in my own psychological issues. Psych Central is a new discovery I've made that's great for those of us dealing with some thangs...Or for anyone interested in how the mind works.

5) Have you checked me out on Pandora yet? I've got 60 stations that cover oldies, soul, jazz, alternative, rock and a new station dedicated to Donna Summer. Check it out!

Enjoy the weekend, lovelies! I think I'm going to need another nap...

Dammit, Donna!

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Disco lady Donna Summer is gone today. Remember how huge she was in the '70s and early '80s? When I was in college I bought a cassette tape of her greatest hits and wore that sucker out. She was only 63. Let's take a trip back in time, shall we?

Domesticity And The Hulk

I did an amazing amount of cooking yesterday. HUBS and I needed something we could eat for dinner, plus we'd run out of bread so I could make sandwiches for him to take to work and there weren't any interesting sweets in the house. So, at around noon, I just decided to make everything.

The bread was first. I'd been wanting to try making Irish Soda Bread for some time, and since we currently had no bread and no extra cash to buy a loaf, this was the perfect opportunity. One big round mass of bread cut in half makes two loaves perfect for sandwich slices. It's also good warmed up and dipped in my mix of olive oil/cracked pepper/balsamic vinegar/grated Parmesan.

After the bread success, I decided to start on dinner by cooking a small pot of red beans. I have never done the whole soak-beans-overnight-first thing because my mom never did it. You sift through the dried beans to get the crappy ones and any rocks out, set it to boil and leave it for hours. Adding water so they never dry out or burn. Does it take a while? Yeah, I think this pot took roughly six and a half hours. But, if you're like me, you've got plenty of other things to do with that time.

Then I jumped into cleaning lettuce. What's that you say? Why am I cleaning lettuce? Because...It's from my garden! I grew that awesome butter lettuce you see and I'd cut some of it last Friday and needed to get cleaning so it wouldn't wilt to death in my fridge.

Can I share a secret with you? I got tired of washing lettuce long before I finished the gig. Also? There's still a shit-ton of lettuce in the garden. I'm afraid we won't be able to eat it all before it starts to bolt and turns bitter. I don't want the only real crop I have to go to waste! And even if we do eat it all, eventually it will turn cold and I'll have to buy lettuce again. Blah! Unnecessary fears!

My lettuce work turned into a scone making adventure. Back when I was living with my mom I made scones all the time that used yogurt. We don't have any yogurt and I wouldn't have felt like tracking down that recipe anyway, so I used one from Ms. Martha instead. I used half whole wheat flour and added the zest from one lemon to the mix. They turned out superbly and are already on their way to being all ate up.

Then I started on the sofrito. This was another thing I'd been meaning to make for months but hadn't. Since I was trying to think of something different for dinner, this was as good a time as any to jump in. The recipe didn't call for any seasoning other than cilantro (I used dried), so I added some salt and some hot madras curry powder. That did the trick, and you can use sofrito on just about anything.

While the sofrito cooked I watered the garden and pulled some weeds. HUBS came home after I finished my shower and I made noodles while he cleaned the litter boxes. We ate and I felt tired but good. I'd put in an honest day's work and got a lot out of it. Then, it happened.

I was putting the food away so I could go to bed and watch Craig in Scotland. I had a good two cups of sofrito left after using some for dinner. I put the lid on it and was about to walk it over to the refrigerator when...the container flew out of my hand, landed on the floor and spilled half of my sofrito.

Friends, there is nothing I hate more than wasted food. Add to that the fact that I'd used almost all of our tomatoes, my only red pepper and a whole onion...I was irate. I became so angry that it would be fair to say I Hulked Out. I threw a roll of paper towels and accidentally hit Tux. I crumpled up a pie pan and a platic storage bowl. I cursed and screamed and acted like a complete fool. And I couldn't quite stop myself.

At least, I felt like I couldn't. My rational mind, which I guess had worked enough for that day, was totally checked out. My immediate thought was That's what I get for working hard. You work hard and you get shit on anyway so why try?

See? Completely screwed up.

What's worse is that I got so angry I made myself sick to the stomach. Plus, I woke up angry today and had a horrible cuss-filled morning because of it. And that bout of glowing ire literally wore me out. I feel fuzzy headed even after a long nap. I've got a dull ache in my brain that a good meal couldn't even take care of, and it's all because of ONE CUP OF SPILLED SOFRITO.

I am nothing if not a teensy bit fucked up.

Music Monday: Yes!

Feeling a tiny bit like a star in my own little world...

Well, today I put my new Do My Opposite rule into practice and it feels damn good! I've been putting off sending out marketing letters about my writing services for one reason: calling the businesses to get contact names and email addresses.

This morning? I did it! I called five places and got contact info.

I realize that for a normal person, making some phone calls is no big deal. But, for me, it's kinda huge. Especially since I started thinking about doing this last fall. Last fall!

Now, I feel like celebrating. Let's do it!

Happy Friday

The weeks pass so fast, don't they? I remember when I was still an office-goer how long each week seemed on Mondays. Then, no matter how horribly the individual days droned on, suddenly it was Friday and we could all breathe a sigh of relief that we'd have whole days to ourselves.

HUBS and I have nothing of note planned. I'll be going to get my hair did tomorrow and plan to drop off PT's Mother's Day gift. Sunday we'll take Julia to the vet to see about his yearly shots and what's going on with his oddly placed fur loss.

I will try, all in all, to Do My Opposite so the days don't fade away from me surrounded by a cloud of freaked-out-by-doing-new-thingsness. And maybe, just maybe, I'll bake some homemade scones.

Have a great weekend everyone! Hopefully some of these things will make the days more interesting:

1) I just finished reading Girl Walks into a Bar by Rachel Dratch of SNL and King of Queens fame. You will like this book. How do I know? Because one chapter is titled How to Care for Your Fuckin' Baby. Go! Read and enjoy!

2) If you've seen The Avengers (and really, you should), you might enjoy this thank you that director/writer Joss Whedon posted on a fan site.

3) Old school art/photography/design lovers will like the magazine cover archive at Ad Art Gallery.

4) Artsy-cool maps from Stamen include digital watercolors of whatever city you search for.

5) I just discovered Trombone Shorty and think you should get to know him, too:

Fear Itself

He's fearless.

This morning I was reading a job search article which noted some advice from the author of a book called Be Fearless.

Write out a list of all the skills and qualities that got you to where you are. Own them!

I shuddered a bit. He meant, of course, to give readers a way to shore themselves up so they could face future challenges. But, I couldn't help but see it differently.

What skills and qualities have gotten me to a point where I'm unhappy with my career, social life, finances and personal development?

You noticed, I hope, that those are some major life areas. Almost all of them, in fact. It's not good. For every step forward I feel myself sliding backward into an abyss of my own making. The key for me is always fear. It's played a major role in every decision and non-decision of my teen and adult life.

The question, as always, is how do I fight it? How, without the therapy and drugs I can't afford anyway, do I stare fear down and tell it to fuck off?

We know what Nike has been telling us for decades, but when you're racked with anxiety it's hard to even consider beginning something that freaks you out. I'm clearly more afraid of change than I am of dying with things staying the same. Why? Why do I allow it to have such a hold over my life?

Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe I need to let go of my analytical crutch and just Do My Opposite. Say hello to that cool looking person in Panera. Make that cold call. Introduce myself via email to that author. Research that idea. Face the blank page and start writing that story down. Send that script off to agents. Go left when I'd usually go right. Say yes when I would normally say no for no good reason.

Today I'm going to begin to consciously Do My Opposite. Because, this isn't good enough.

How do you become fearless in life?

Well, We're Back Into The Week Now

I know. I haven't posted since last Monday. I suppose I needed a bit of a blog break pre- and post-job interview. I was fine until the night before, on Wednesday. When we happened to be at a Cardinals game. The interview was one of those new-fangled group deals, and while it turned out to be a low-pressure first interview, I had a bit of a panic the night before. I hadn't been on an interview for quite a while and had certainly never done a group interview. The "before" was nerve-wracking in a whole different way.

The interview was fine once it got going, but it was just hot enough on Thursday to ensure that I had no way to arrive at my destination dry and shine free. Oh, well.

I was all prepared to post my usual Music Monday yesterday...And then I had one of those days. You know, the kind of day where you start off early, working hard and getting things done and with concrete plans to get more done. But, after accomplishing some hard stuff, you get mentally and physically worn down and sort of collapse into a soggy heap and vegetate for the next nine hours and 45 minutes. You end up eating too much ice cream and too many potato chips and you go to bed with a headache. Yeah, that kind of day.

HUBS and I had a good weekend, though. I stayed up to 1:30 am on Pinterest Saturday morning. He played a lot of video games. We went to brunch at Jilly's Cupcake Bar on Sunday and then saw The Avengers. And, by the way, both were awesome.

Now that we've got a Tuesday evening to contend with, I'm going to make this recipe and get some crap done. You with me?

Music Monday: Dawn Of A New Era

Today has been good to me, folks. How about you? Of course, this is mostly because I got off my ass and got some stuff done. It feels nice to be busy on my own terms, you know? I've started writing what I like to call 5 Minute Movies. You can reach the first of my posts by clicking on the last tab under my blog header. The easiest way to read it seems to be enlarging your page view until you get a good look at it. Let me know what you think!

I've also taken some pro-active steps toward meeting new people and hopefully making some new friends. I signed up for GirlfriendCircles.com, GirlfriendSocial.com and RentAFriend.com. And, today I got matched on the first service to meet a group of ladies in my area later in May. Yay!

Also, the crazy new resume I sent out a few weeks ago has netted me a nifty job interview this Thursday. I know! I haven't had an interview in a while, largely because I let myself rely solely on my freelance income for the last year. I'm nervous (It's one of those new-fangled group interviews. I have no idea what to expect.) but also excited. Wish me luck!

Let's enjoy some nice music now, shall we?

Friends In High Places

Debby, during our trip to Branson

My best friend Debby died seven years ago on a hailing, storm-ridden morning in Spring. Actually, I don't know if she considered me her best friend. We never talked about it or analyzed it, we just up and started doing everything together one day.

We worked at the same company. I was the newbie, and also the youngest non-intern there. She took me under her wing, asking me to do something with her during our off hours one day. It was so long ago now that I can't even remember what it was. But, it wasn't long before we were visiting new restaurants together, having pizza parties during the Golden Globes and gossiping about co-workers and bosses and people we didn't know. We took shopping road trips to Branson and Schaumberg, IL, went to movies on weekends, did concerts after work, pulled pranks on our office manager together and dissected the latest episodes of Gilmore Girls and The X-Files over extended coffee breaks.

I don't think I ever told Debby everything. Like about how lonely I'd been before we started hanging out. Or how I'd never been on a date and was a virgin. I certainly never mentioned that I'd always felt like a loser. But it really didn't matter. Because with Debby around everything was better. Brighter, happier, bolder, more interesting and exciting.

Debby was really quite different from me. She was a few years older (You'll think it's silly, but I never asked her age. Again, it didn't matter.) and the kind of outgoing, outspoken person that many people loved. (Unless they disliked her. Which was usually either because she'd put them in their place or was obviously liked by more people then they were.) She'd been around and done stuff and known people, which I hadn't.

She also had the kind of loud, addictive laugh that would stop the whole office and have our co-workers asking What? What's so funny? Tell me! Debby was also the best gift-giver I've ever known. Mention a thing once, briefly and in passing, and you were guaranteed to have it either on your birthday or at Christmas. Guaranteed.

Debby was not the only best friend I'd ever had. There were Danielle and Chiquita in grade school. Sara in high school. Emily in high school, college and a few years after college. I'd never quite had a friend like Debby, though, and I don't know if it'd be possible to have a friend that cool again. But, I'd like to try.

I'm now four years deep into my friend desert. After quitting the company where I met Debby, I was left with one friend from the old co-working gang who keeps in touch on a regular basis. We meet once a year for our shared birthday and email a few times beyond that. She's got three kids, a husband, a full time job, is running her own business on the side and doesn't even live in the same state as me. This is why we see each other once a year.

Emily found me on Facebook last year and we talk on the phone every month or so. Why don't we hang out? She's got a husband who works crazy hours and a rambunctious three-year-old...Oh, yeah, and in the past year she's moved from Boston to Chicago to a beach-side city in California. I still lay my head down in our hometown of St. Louis every night.

I need some girl talk. Some shopping trips and concert-going hijinks and female bonding sessions that begin with crying and end with raucous laughter. As nice as my family is, I need face time with other women who are not related to me.

If you're looking for the same thing, but are anxiety-ridden about trying to friend folks as an adult (like me), you should read the book I finished last week. MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche. Rachel found herself in a new city without her network of besties around and decided to go on one friend date a week for a whole year. It took guts (Debby would approve), but it worked.

And when you're feeling weary and alone there's nothing better than knowing that someone walked the path before you and made it work.

A Nice Thought

You tell 'em, Joan!